Eternal Darkness
by Roarrk
Summary: A week has passed since the events of 'Lover's Respite'... Blu is lost within himself, how can he settle the pain? How does he move on from here? Is there a reason to go on? "I'll never let you go... Jewel."
1. Prelude

**A/N: This is the beginning of the sequel to Lover's Respite.**

* * *

**!DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE YET TO FINISH THE FIRST STORY!**

* * *

**I can't put more emphasis then that, if you choose to read on it WILL spoil the ending of the first story. You've been warned.**

**Without further ado, I present to you,**

**Eternal Darkness:**

* * *

Nothing, in all my years of living, can come close to the bliss that love brought me. No words can describe the feelings in my heart every time I saw her. Such a strange occurrence, feelings, a peculiar vibe that enveloped me every time I touched her. A strange euphoric feeling that would never again grace me with its presence, never again fill me with joy and love.

Someone once told me, that it was better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. At the time, it only made me feel sorry for myself that I fell into the latter, but if the same soul came up to me today and told me that, I'd claw his eyes out for his ignorance.

Ignorance sure is bliss, such a phrase describes the whole situation. The pain of having lost my loved one far outweighed the pain of never having loved. In fact, I was never truly pained without the love I never knew existed. I never found a need to pursue it, because I had everything I could ever want in my past life when I was still clouded in ignorance. So many people rush out into the world looking for love, the sad thing is they don't realize the consequences for their actions.

Once you love, there is no going back. A piece of you is forever lost within that person, no matter what kind of break up you go through. People in this world don't realize that love is a double-edged sword and it cuts both ways. It's a ticking time bomb of pain that winds up tighter and tighter as the years go on. Both you and your lover wind it up, until one day, when one leaves the other, the unfortunate one that lives on is forever scarred, withering away in pain until the end of its life, death being the final end of the pain.

Truth is, I loved her. I loved her with all of my heart. There was never a moment in the whole alloted amount of time that we were together that I didn't have the most exuberant feeling of warmth, of love and closeness. It was truly the best thing that I've ever experienced. To think that anyone can ever find the words to explain it would berate it altogether.

Love works in such ways. It may take everything that you held dear, everything that you treasured in your past life, anything that may hold meaning to you and destroy it. It may cause heartache beyond any feasible amount of physical pain, and it may cost beyond what you can afford, but the truth is, no matter what trials and tribulations it puts you through, love was worth it.

Love was worth it. It was worth more that my life itself. I put a much higher value on her than I do myself, and yet, once she left... Was it still worth it?

Nothing is worse than having what you love stripped away. There is no greater pain than losing what your heart treasures most. That's why people die for it, and kingdoms fall in its name. Love may have a very broad definition and range, but in every situation the meaning behind the word is more valuable than any amount of money, or any amount of physical, tangible, or otherwise obtainable objects.

Yet even though it's worth is so much, it remains the most mysterious thing that makes up and defines the world we live in. Love by its nature is relative, making it by far the most hardest thing to define, or put words on. In itself, it can create a world any creature can be satisfied in, or destroy the existence of another. It can be the very best thing in existence, but it cuts both ways, and can lead to the destruction of one's own world.

Death is by far the most cruel salvation in this world. Even though Jewel shall never feel pain, hurt, or suffer in any way possible, it left me alone. It caused more pain, more heartache than anything I ever thought imaginable.

And it used Love as it's weapon.

* * *

My hollow was bare. Sleep, the only salvation from the waking nightmare that I was cast in, only lasts so long. This near death state was the closest thing I could do to be near her, and as strange as it was, it only served to aid me in forgetting her.

_How could I forget her? Why would I ever want to? Why are such futile thoughts confiding within my mind?_

I don't have the answers, the only thing I have now is pain. The only thing I know now is pain. Pain is my world now, and heartache is it's accomplice.

Pedro and Rafael once came by seeking to comfort me, but I casted them aside. My own friends, the ones who once brought happiness to me, betrayed me. They tried to convince me to move on from her, the jewel of my life, my love, my existence...

I can no longer go to any being in this world now, they are all against me. If I tried to seek refuge and comfort in them, they would only try to sever the gap between me and Jewel even more. I was betrayed by the very world I resided in.

Society itself turned against me. Strange thing about society, if you don't conform to its standards, you become its enemy. I don't mind, I'll be the enemy of the very thing that took Jewel away from me. I'll be the one in the darkness and solitude of my own mind, my own world.

The day dragged on, and eventually my stomach needed sustenance to fuel my existence within this conscious world. I hated such mundane tasks, such trivial things as searching for food. It forced me to take my mind off her, causing me to betray my unwavering love.

_Why would I need to stay in this world anyways?_ I thought as I landed on a mango tree.

_Mango... This was her favorite._

It's taste, now bitter in my beak, only served as a painful reminder of once was.

_Jewel... Why'd you leave me? Why'd you cast me into the abyss as you departed into your own sanctuary? Did you not love me as much as I loved you?_

A strange feeling washed over me as I finished up my meal, turning around I saw a crow. A black crow with dark, deep red eyes. It's stare pierced my very being, reading me like a book. I stood there with no emotion on my face, but the presence of such an ominous being scratched and clawed at the very fiber of my current sanity.

I needed answers. There was something this crow knew that I didn't, and the ever weird fact that crow was all the way out in Rio de Janeiro only further fueled my curiosity.

"You're not like the others..." The crow called out in a cold, straight tone, "Yes... The pain you've undergone, its unfathomable."

How dare he? How didn't he know the pain I was in?

"What do you mean?" I called back, anger filling me up suddenly.

"You seek answers, a new meaning to your life. I can see it inside you." The dark being said, ever intensifying his gaze.

Our eyes met, and there was nothing more I wanted to do then to interrogate the strange being, to tear him apart and look for answers.

Fate would have no such thing, for once I blinked, in that split second of weakness and of dropped guard, he vanished. Gone with the wind.

* * *

**Shout of to AlexTheCrow for use of his OC during this project.**

**This was something I had been thinking about for a long time. I wanted to set the stage, a prelude of sorts, to the infamous sequel. I had a notepad of ideas on what to write the first chapter that I kept adding to, to the point where I couldn't help but write this out. So it should be no surprise I wrote the entirety of this short beginning in under an hour. I have no idea when it will be updated, but hopefully this will build some excitement for it. ****(I'm going to focus more on the short stories until I know full well where I'm taking this story, but this is going to be quite the Grimdark story.)**

**As always, leave a review. They drive me on and on to write more and more, so fuel the fire!**


	2. Death Is Final

**Thanks to Mic O'Mally for his beta'ing! Anyways, I don't want to spoil the story here, good luck to you as you read through it. Let me know how this chapter made you feel when you're done!**

* * *

Death is an odd thing. It's the one absolute truth that no one can deny. It's the base line that all life on earth abides by. It's the border between existence in the conscious world, between nonexistence before birth and death after life. It's part of the definition of living, as well as the antonym. Despite any amount of feasible success or accomplishments you achieve whilst you're alive, death is the entity that strips you of it, leaving you with nothing.

In return? You obtain the gift of eternal rest, or so that's what it seems to people in the conscious world. The truth is actually much more sinister. Birds don't share the same grace as humans do, ascending to either heaven or down to hell, oh no...

Fate is much more cruel, I can't tell you how much pain I felt before my life ended. I can't begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions that shot through me before my last breath was exhaled. Reality has a terrible way of trapping your soul, your existence in its clutches, never to let you go. I realize this, for now I am an intangible entity. A mere ghost that cries over the lost past that was my life.

Blu...

I can't tell you how much I loved him, words can't describe it. The English language in itself does not have the capacity to correctly depict the feelings I had, and still have towards Blu. Yes in the after life, you still have feelings apparently.

Death did much more harm than good for me, it stripped me of more than my life and love. It prevented the existence of my children. They will never experience the world, and as cruel as it is, they will never meet me. They are even more intangible than myself, to never have existed, to never obtain a soul that will define their existence even after their departure from the conscious world.

I have so much pain... It tears me apart thinking about my children. How I failed them, myself... and Blu.

Oh it tore me up every time I envisioned Blu in my incorporeal, now eternal state. I followed him around for days before I couldn't bear it anymore. There are no biological needs to occupy your attention in the afterlife, so all you do is think. You only have the capacity to think and feel. Oh man, such a terrible reality feelings are, magnified in the afterlife due to the sorrows I witnessed Blu going through.

I can feel his thoughts, his emotions... Every time he cries or feels pain, I can feel it like it's my own. This only amplifies my eternal sorrow.

Watching over Blu until he meets me in this afterlife form is my curse. My fate that I didn't directly deserve, and neither did Blu. He didn't deserve the attachment I placed on him. He didn't deserve the emotional pain that is still working its way on warping him psychologically.

I hate myself for it, for leaving him the way I did. But the strangest thing of it all, when my feelings mix with his, I feel a sorrowful mourning for myself, as well as an undying hatred.

I can explain Blu's feelings better than my own, only because I can choose to moderate his. It's like a grasping feeling at your chest. A choking around your very being that causes you to carry so much guilt, so much pain. Your stomach betrays you and you feel like you're on the verge of extreme illness. Had I still possessed the capability to convulse, I would have by now, many times over.

The pain tears at your head causing you to seek physical pain in your conscious' own natural way to cope with emotional pain. It didn't surprise me that Blu occupied his free time with plucking out his own feathers; such a thing was natural to grieving birds. But for Blu it was slightly, different. His pain was more the just grief; it was a forever broken heart, a warped soul that would never be repaired. A gap filled his mentality as the price that he paid was impossible to reimburse.

Blu constantly warred with himself on the inside, putting all of the blame on solely himself that I was gone. His pain far out measured mine, and despite everything he tried, he could never rid himself of me...

I will never, for as long as I retain the capability to draw upon my memories, forget the moment of which I died.

I was caught off-guard by my executor, the intruder into Blu and my life. Cliff stood there in the door way, mocking me as I saw true evil in his eyes. I couldn't get past it, his look of vengeance; I knew that I was in trouble from the moment I heard his voice ring out behind me.

"Well well, If it isn't the fair female macaw." Cliff called out as he waited for my reaction; I dropped the grapes that I procured from the refrigerator. At first, I thought he was just going to try to capture me again, but his next phrase sent a chilling sensation down my spine

"How have you been ever since you ruined my life? Ever since you denied me my future? Oh, I'm sure you've had a grand old time laughing at me behind my back. I'm here extracting my revenge."

He took a couple of steps towards me as an impending sense of doom overwhelmed me. Revenge? What does he mean? I hope he doesn't get Blu...

Before I could react, he grabbed me up from the spot where I was petrified by the fear that developed due to his presence. I knew I couldn't run, and if I did, where could I go? I couldn't have led him to Blu..

"I've lost everything, and you two stupid birds were my last chance to escape from this place..." Cliff said accusingly, it was obvious his judgment was clouded by insanity, because extracting 'revenge', whatever he meant by that, was illogical when compared to just attempting to recapture us.

But I was in his grip, his iron clutches that squeezed me until I couldn't breathe, sapping the energy out of my body.

What happened next was by far the most horrific thing I experienced...

Upon Cliff withdrawing an intimidating handgun, making his intentions clear, I saw Blu enter the room. My mind instantly started racing a million miles an hour, calculating the events as they played forth. I heard Cliff speak, stating his desires perhaps, but I couldn't decipher his words exactly. I was to focused on Blu's face, his reaction... Complete and utter horror.

I saw it in his eyes, the shock that put him a state of hopelessness. He stared right at me.. Right into my... my soul.

His look killed me. It took my being and smashed it to pieces, and I died within his terrified expression. It shook my being, my brain couldn't process it, and so I blacked out for a split second before realizing that I was about to die.

I couldn't help it, and once you realize that death is imminent, you become calm mentally, but emotionally you're destroyed. A storm rips and shreds your heart as you accept your fate, a million thoughts race across your head and you become overwhelmed to the point where you display no outward emotion, but feel an eternity's worth of pain. It's like your chest is being torn apart in a blender as your mind is focused on one thing, death itself.

This is where Cliff slammed me on the ground... It stole the breath out of my lungs, but the emotional rampage that occurred within outweighed the physical pain, which I don't remember feeling. I just realized that this was the final moment of my life, my existence. I couldn't accept it; I turned to Blu one last time.

I've never been more scared in my life, not for my own life, but for my children... My lover... My Blu.

I had to tell him the surprise that I was joyously saving for later, I had to tell him everything. He had to know the truth before my passing...

"I'm pregnant"

The world has a strange way of suspending you in time. You realize your life is already over, but the conscious reality of the world plays one last demented trick on you. You see everything...

You whole life is played out in front of you, your successes, your failures, the loved ones that you held dear... You see everything with such a vivid clarity. The gun made a crashing sound, one that rings through my ears even now; tearing through my small body like it was butter.

The bullet went straight through my chest cavity, puncturing my heart, ripping through my flesh, and shattering my life into a million pieces... Killing me... Instantly...

* * *

**And may she rest in peace.. Until I bring her up again later...**

**How am I doing? Heck, how do you feel after reading this? Let me know, it helps me more than you know! Leave a review!**


	3. Alex The Crow

**Foreword:**

They say that love is forever  
Your forever is all that I need,  
Please stay as long as you need.  
Can't promise that things won't be broken,  
But I swear that I will never leave.  
Please stay forever with me...

* * *

The night was my only escape; A dream world that enveloped my mind and rested my weary soul. It was the only time I saw her.

Her perfect plumes that tickled my beak as we cuddled. Those enchantingly deep eyes that still sparkled like I remember... Before...

"Blu," She called out teasingly, "Bluuuu."

_Jewel, don't leave again.. Please..._

I reached out trying to catch her before she slipped away. I've had this dream many times before, but never had I actually caught her... Except this one time.

"Jewel... Don't... Leave me."

Jewel turned her beautifully sculpted head and caught me with an angelic gaze, she could tell the pain I was in... The heartache, yet she showed no emotion aside from a quizzical stare.

"What's happened to you Blu? Where's the intelligently awkward macaw I fell in love with? You're not the bird that I once knew."

Her words stung, bringing another round of remorse surging through me. "I-"

I couldn't decipher what she meant, the only thing she said to me in weeks and even in my dreams the thought of her brings pain.

"What do you mean?"

She never changed her expression, a condescending look that she cast me in pity. She felt genuinely sorry for me and my suffering, yet she teased me further with her torturesome words.

"You've let the loss of me effect you, for the worse Blu. It's changing your character... Your life."

Her tone saddened, and she redirected her eyes away from me. I could see the emotional hurt in her face, it was like a demon eating away at her for something she caused herself.

"What do you mean? I've lost the only thing that I've ever held dear!" A surge of misunderstood anger coursed through me, "I lost you! What the hell am I suppose to do without you?" I worked myself into a pitiful rage, tears filling my eyes

"Jewel... The good in me died with you."

Her gaze shifted back to me as she uttered the most painful thing I've ever heard her say:

"You're a monster," she stated flatly.

Those words sent me into a spiral of rage, shattering my dream world. I fell within the abyss of my mind as I literally envisioned falling in reverse as I took a uncontrolled plummet into the darkness of my broken soul.

"I've been trying to cope with the pain... I don't understand this... IS THIS HOW IT ENDS?" I called as I fell to my insanity.

I've woke up many times with tears in my eyes, but never had the dream seemed so real. It left a lasting impression that had me gasping for breath as I recollected the intense tragedy that occurred to me in my sleep. It felt like hours passed before conscious thought settled back into my system, shaking my head fruiously to rid myself of the trance I was captured in.

I_ don't know how much more I can handle,_ I thought as I stood to my full height._ Life just... isn't worth the pain anymore..._

As that last thought passed through my head, I felt another strange sensation creep over me, similar to when that stupid crow was spying on me. I quickly bolted my head around towards the entrance to my dilapidated hollow, but nothing was there.

The once perfect walls of this outstanding hollow that I picked out for Jewel were marred with scratches and scars. Many days I occupied my time beating myself up and clawing at the wall to relieve some of the emotional pressures.

As a result, I noticed my muscles toned out, putting more strength behind my claws and beak. I've achieved the point of a somewhat impressive personal physical status, due to my prolonged self torture. I imagine attracting a new mate would prove an easier task than previously, but such desires escaped me. My emotions were shot, and perhaps unrepairable.

My biological needs called again, perhaps for the last time due to the decision I made last night... Leaving my hollow I flapped in a powerful upstroke, taking to the skies.

_Hmm, I figure that just one last time I'll have my favorite fruit..._ I thought as I angled myself in a westward direction.

The breeze that once brought joy in my heart as it grazed my wings no longer sparked such emotions, instead they only reminded me on the loneliness Jewel treasured before meeting me. Oh how I wish she had just left me to be smuggled out of the country. At least then, she'd be alive still.

Landing down on the branch I quickly folded my wings and went to work finding a perfect mango. The task proved more difficult, due to the fact that this patch of fruit trees was heavily populated with other birds minding their own business.

Unfortunately, my arrival sparked some curiosity within the bird community as I attracted the attention two female military macaws. They both settled down on either side of me, vying for my attention.

"Can I help you two?" I asked blatantly not misdirecting my attention from my forage.

"What's a rare bird like you doing out in a place like this?" The bird on my right asked as she reached down and picked a juicy mango, eyeing it before handing it to me.

"Rare? What do you mean?" I asked knowing full well what she was talking about.

"Oh don't act like you don't know, there's only one other bird around here that looks like you." The other bird said, closing the distance between me and her.

"Oh yea?" I said as I took a bite of the fruit I deemed my last, "And who is this?"

"Look big bird, the whole forest knew you and Jewel, and we also know what happened to her... However we happen to know of another Spix macaw, a female one."

"And she's been searching you out ever since the news of you being free started spreading." The other macaw finished, "However looking at you for the first time I must say, Jewel must have been a lucky bird. Why don't we get to know eachother handsome?"

She flashed me a wink as I stared at her emotionlessly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, so I dejected both of them, taking to the skies. _I was somewhat of a prize now? Some sort of sought after object and trophy._

This world sickens me, and I found my new physique a curse rather than an acquired attribute. Needless to say, the two macaws were baffled by my sudden exit and persued me.

"Blu, wait!" One of them called and hearing my own name only made me more angry.

Furiously I stopped, hovering in mid air, and turned to face the two females, "Look, I don't expect either of you to understand what I've been through with the loss of Jewel. She was my true love and my heart belongs only to her. If all you see me as is some lustful prize of a mate, then leave me alone. Neither of you are worth my time and I'm leaving this place very soon."

With venom in my words, the two stared at me stunned. I quickly bolted around and sped in the direction of my hollow again, however, to my hollow I wasn't going.

The cliff... ugh, not to be confused with the person Cliff, but the landmark that I positioned my dwelling straight across from, it's single memory with Jewel burned in my head and it served as a constant reminder. The waterfall was a perfect height for a fatal life threatening fall into the jagged rocks below.

I landed on top of a lone rock that pierced it's way through the edge of the raging water as it splashed to the bottom. Such a beautiful sight in nature this was, and I deemed it fit for my final resting place. The gleaming pools of water below stared back at me as I sat on top looking down. The mist chilled the air, and the dull, constant roar served as a peaceful white noise, causing the scene to take a serene, peaceful vibe.

_Even nature itself, however, doesn't compare to your lost beauty... Jewel..._

I ended up sitting down, contemplating my whole life. I relived my successes and failures within my head, the past memories putting a smile on my face.

_I've lived a good life right? There's nothing I regret except the one trouble in my life that I will never overcome... There's nothing more for this life to achieve._

Reading myself up, I rose to my full height, at peace with my soon-to-be fate.

However, reality had a different fate planned for me.

"This seems like the only solution, the only true escape... Doesn't it?" A voice called out from beind me.

I froze, knowing full well who was behind me, "I knew you would show up eventually... To bad I didn't end it before you made your presence known again." I turned around to face the dark figure, his eyes drilling me with unwaivering intensity, "What the hell do you care if I die or not?"

"I don't, but I know the true extent of the pain you feel," The crow said to me unflinchingly, "I've experienced the very same thing before, losing everything I've held dear."

"You don't know the half of it!" I called back angrily, "She defined me... She was my life. I died with her."

"And do you think she would condone such actions as suicide?"

His words caught me off guard. Coupled with his unnerving gaze, his tone crippled my resolve and I broke down into tears. He was right.

"Do you think she wants you to kill yourself? For what? To 'join' her in the after life? Do you think she wants you to waste your life?" The crow's words stung horribly, hollowing out my heart and ripping open the scars Jewel left.

"Wh-what do... I do... Then?" I said behind repressed sobs... _What was there to do?_ I was just a lonely bird with nothing left in his life. No more meaning was left for my existence.

"Anger, when held inside, corrupts a being's humanity. Cripples their resolve, blinding them with a burning rage that threatens to escape and consume everything in it's path. It's best not to hold such feelings to your heart, especially to cover up that of a lost loved one."

"What are... you saying?" I called out exasperatedly, demanding an answer.

"Society itself has turned against you, no?"

"Yes... Yes it has." I was balling my eyes out at this point, I didn't tell this soul a single thing about me and yet here he was, reading me like a book and exploiting my inner feelings.

"Those two macaws, they mean nothing to you, don't they? You past friends no long comfort you, you have nothing left. Jewel was the only one who can ever hold a spot in your heart. Am I right?"

My intensified sobs confirmed his answer... _Who was this being? What omen does he bring?_

"Come with me, Blu." The crow called out to me, raising his wing in a beckoning motion.

"Wh-who are you?"

"The name's Alex."

* * *

**Sorry for the terribly long update, had a bad case of writers block and school's been kicking in.. Leave a review? It'll help me get back on track :D?**

**Again, thank you to AlexTheCrow for his OC use. From what I can tell, it was a good move incorporating it in the story ;)**

**Saved me the trouble of plot development :| (Lazy ol' me)**


	4. Annabelle

**9... That's the number of times I've wrote out and scrapped this chapter, I had given up on this for a short while, but hopefully I'll be back into it. (Hopefully)**

**I haven't updated this story in a long time, so let me use this chapter as a "getting back into it" chapter. Hope it lives up to the standard I set previously. ALSO I have a few messages at the end for a certain few people as well as a question. **

**So without further ado, read on my friends. Hope you enjoy.**

(Oh and here I go at poetry again, inspired by music of course):

* * *

Moments of the day,

Spent suffering away,

Can't hide this pain,

When will I leave this place?

It breaks my heart,

as we rip this worldly hollow apart.

...

I tore up the paper which held the painful poem I scribbled down. I've never quite been much of a philosophical type, but my feeble attempts to add meaning to my life again consisted of a bit of soul searching.

Alex had taught me this, for where he led me, I remained hidden away from the world. It was all in the hopes of healing over the scars that were left behind.. In the hopes of moving on.

Alex, from what I've learned, is a very scarred bird as well. He, too, lost everything to humans but instead of going off the deep end and nurturing the hatred that followed such acts, he turned everything around in an attempt to better the world.

He was a very wise bird, and what views he did promote about moving on and bettering myself as well as the world appealed to me. However, life is much more complicated than that.

There is a sinister dark side behind Alex, I've noticed. Some kind of underlying dark force that is suppressed by the guise that he puts forth regularly. It's like some kind of old darkness that haunts him constantly as he tries his hardest to better the world around him. It comes in small glimpses, but it's definitely there and from what I've gathered, it terrifies me beyond any recollection of thought. The damage of losing everything, I determined in the end, doesn't go without its consequences.. No matter what.

As for me, I've tried to move on myself. I've tried and tried again and again, but she keeps coming back to me. It's such a profound feeling of hurt and loss, one that you know you'll never recover from because you won't see her again. Such a terrible thing of having your one true love ripped away from you. You truly can't compare it to anything else unless you've experienced it before, a side of you dies on the inside and you become hollow.

And the scariest part? Every passing day just piles layer upon layer of haze, covering any past thoughts of happiness and joyful bliss. There is no such thing as moving on and healing up, I've discovered... oh no. Covering up the past is the only way people with loss cope. It terrifies me as I look to the future... In 10 years, will I even remember her name? Would I even want to live to be that way?

I've become a master at masking my feelings, but sometimes there are points where I relapse and cry uncontrollably. There truly is no cure for a broken heart, for not even time itself can fill the void a lover leaves behind, and truly there is no worse a fate than being separated from what defines you.

Fate...

Is it true that one can control such a concept? What more could I have done to save her? What if you can't actually change fate, and destiny plans out your life before you're even born? Was this the plans that were made for me, forcing me into a solitude of suffering until the end of my days?

On the other side, what if you do control your fate? What did I do to deserve this, and what could I have done differently?

Jewel...

* * *

Tearing away from the small trance I was in, I quickly surveyed the small hollow I was in. Alex had brought me here in the most remote part of the jungle. I remember flying so deep into the jungle that night, I honestly have no inkling of an idea where civilization lies. If one were to fly above the tree line, all you would see is green stretching out for miles in any direction.

Morning... Such a peaceful time, yet it always marked the beginning of my daily mourning...

I was left in solitude, but oddly enough I always felt as if some presence was watching me, making sure I didn't try anything rash. Alex himself kept me company whenever he wasn't off and about, and I didn't mind much. He was a very intelligent being, one of a vast wisdom that far surpassed my own. In terms of technical intelligence and knowledge revolving humans, I exceeded him. But in terms of life, and philosophy, I had a lot to learn from him.

It was this, I deemed, a suitable stepping stone to recovery. However the scars that still haunt my soul will never be totally filled, but suicide, I figured, would be a complete waste... Not yet anyways.

I'm not a violent bird, nor have I been one to hold meaningless grudges... Yet deep down, behind the hopeful guise of recovery, was a burning thirst for revenge.

* * *

Deep within another part of the jungle, inside a small hollow, lay another macaw. Her deep blue coat sparkled and shimmered as a spear of radiant light cut past the foliage of the canopy and poured into her small dwelling, filling the hollow and rousing it's lone inhabitant.

Annabelle, a very vibrant high spirited bird, was well known within her own community of surrounding hollows. Famous, as well as very well liked for her caring personality, she had many friends, yet no family.

She was considered the jungle's sweetheart to people who knew her, yet ever since a failed smuggling attempt made towards her, she remained in hiding.

With the disappearance of Cliff, the jungle was a bit safer and more free than before, thus Annabelle once again flew free.

The sound of wing beats gave way to the presence of a visitor as a Hyacinth macaw, Aley, Annabelle's best friend. The two went way back and were considered the best of friends ever since Anna was discovered by Aley's parents. What ever happened to Anna's biological parents is still a mystery today, but the two birds considered each other as much of a sibling as they've ever had.

"Good morning Anna!" Aley chirped in her usual high pitched cheep as she perched in the entrance of the hollow, flashing Anna a giant smile before turning her gaze to the outside.

"Hey Aley, morning to you too," Anna said returning her smile as she rose up and climbed out of her small nest. "So what to do today?"

"Well," Aley said, a devilish grin forming on her face, "I met some cute Hyacinth macaws this morning. I know it's not much news for you, but they invited me to fly around with them," Aley flashed a suggestive look towards her friend, "You're welcome to come if you please."

Anna looked down and away, "Sure, but..."

"Look girl, we already heard back from Blu, he's a loner now," Aley said with a hint of concern in her voice, "You have to look past your own species. Do it for your own sake, girl,"

"It's not just about Blu..." Anna said with a saddened expression, "It's just.. Well what if they don't like me? I mean it's easy for you since they are your species, but what if they don't like me?" Anna shifted a bit and looked away from her friend, her face filled with shameful heat as she prepped her next statement, "What if I'm meant to be alone?"

"No way!" Aley exclaimed as she trampled forth and grabbed her friend with her wings, "You're the most beautiful bird I know! We both know Blu's missing out, forget that old bird!" Aley gained Anna's gaze and forced a smile on her beak, "No one is meant to be alone, everyone deserves love."

"Yea... I guess you're right," Anna said in a sombre tone, "But what about Blu? Does he deserve love too?"

Aley only shook her head, "You can't expect to find it if all you do is push people away,"

"Yea.. I suppose you're right," Anna said smiling again, "I guess I'll go, why not?"

"What else do you have to do?" Aley chuckled as she ushered her friend towards the entrance. "C'mon, let's go grab some breakfast!"

Aley was the first to take off shortly followed by Anna. The two blue birds were a majestic sight against the deep green of the canopy that contrasted their colors. The small rays of light that shone down through the canopy also highlighted and amplified their features and bold color. Aley's spot of yellow that she had around her eyes and behind her beak was abnormally bright and thick and it only added to her vivaciously sleek appearance.

Anna, on the other hand, was a deep almost sapphire like blue. Her plumage was full and exuberant. A perfect match for her effervescent personality. Yet behind all the pure, ebullient temperaments, lies a vast almost irrepressible loneliness.

Anna always knew that she was alone in her species. She was always aware of the absence of her parents, and although she never put much mind to it, it left a depressive slew of questions that went inevitably unanswered. Aside from her outgoing friends, particularly Aley, Annabelle always felt alone in the world and unwanted in terms of courtship.

When word of a single male Spix's macaw got out, it was mainly her friends who advocated her existence to the world, namely Blu. Deep inside Annabelle longed for companionship with one of her own species, however the circumstances to which she found herself, she couldn't help but feel helpless. Blu was on the verge of depression from the death of his previous mate and would have nothing to do with her, so she lost hope.

* * *

Upon arriving to their usual eating spot, the two macaws carefully alighted down on a branch. Aley was the first to procure a decent fruit from the tree and when she found her prize, she quickly gobbled it down. Anna wasn't far behind and enjoyed herself a nice mango as well.

The friends sat in solitude, exchanging few words about the scenery as they ate, and upon finishing their breakfast, they were greeted by three male macaws as if on cue.

Two were Hyacinths just like Aley had told Anna before and the third was a Lear's macaw.

When the three males landed close by, Aley was the first to notice and raised a wing in a wave as to greet the three, "Hey guys! Glad you caught up with us again," Aley called out as she dropped the remnants of her breakfast to the forest floor below. "This is my friend, Annabelle."

Anna just blushed slightly as she averted her gaze slightly, "Oh, just call me Anna." Despite the species gap, Anna found the three males quite attractive, namely the Lear's macaw.

"Hey Aley," called one of the Hyacinths, "Me and the guys were going to head into Rio for today. Care to join?"

"Sure, Sam." Aley said. Anna noticed a strange tone in her friend's voice, yet she couldn't quite put a talon on what exactly. She also noticed a certain way Aley started holding her posture ever since the three arrived. This, she concluded, must have been her trying to impress and look her best for the three males.

"And what about your friend, the famous blue macaw?" Sam said as he shot a weird smile to Anna. His smile, she figured, was between a smug and accepting expression.

"Well..." Anna said rolling her eyes back and away as she considered the proposition.

"Sure she will, right?" Aley said refocusing on Anna with a pleading puppy dog look.

"Guess I will, count me in." Anna said shrugging to herself.

"Well then it's a plan," Sam said in confirmation, "By the way, I'm Sam as you could tell. My buddy here, the other Hyacinth macaw, is Roy. And lastly, we have Mason, the Lear's macaw.

"Nice to meet you guys," Anna said bashfully.

"Great, so let's get going," Mason said, stretching his wings out preparing himself to fly.

"Yea, I'm ready to get my drink on!" Roy said mirroring Mason.

"Haha, we'll get to that," Sam chuckled as the three males lifted in the air, "C'mon guys,"

Aley turned to her friend and flashed her an expression of joyful anticipation, "Let's go!" She too, rose into the air after the other macaws.

Anna gave one last doubtful look down to the ground below before she followed her new found friends towards the great city of Rio.

* * *

**Alright well, for lack of a better way to ask it, "How was that?" Go easy, it was late when I wrote this :(**

**I'm gonna start off by saying that I literally have no idea where I'm going to take this story anymore. I had so many collected ideas but I decided that they were either too expansive, or too outrageous to carry out. I never intended on making the character of the other Spix's macaw in which I mentioned at the end of the first story, yet due to many people mentioning it the reviews, I decided it would be best to add.**

**Due to my lack of direction with this story, I've ultimately decided to let you guys decide where I'll take this story. This will be done with a simple question: Which character would you like to focus more on? Blu, or Annabelle?**

**The end result will also influence the direction and possibly the ending, either sad and depression OR hopeful and "Happy", respectively. **(The word happy is used quite lightly, but ultimately that's what Anna's outcome would be more like)

**The choice is yours.**

* * *

**I don't usually do this, but I need to give a few words to some people,**

**Nickel531: Usually I pm my response to reviews, but I dedicated this space for you. Your intelligently eloquent review came at just the right time, in fact, it's the reason I finally got around to finishing this. Reviews like that are far and few between, and man they really do have that satisfying "feel-good" sense of accomplishment to them. Thank you. Also, I probably laughed for about five solid minutes when you said you had an idea as to what was going to happen. I sure have no clue, so if you have an idea, feel free to fill me in XD**

**Rapture: I really didn't mean to upset you as much as I think I did, but just know that what I said was mere speculation and that I am, by no means, reverting to leaving fanfiction. Nor did I expect quite a powerfully negative response, lets me know that people actually care. Thanks.**

**And to everyone else, LEAVE A REVIEW ;)**


	5. Back To Rio

**Oh man, I didn't expect such a reception for chapter 4. Jeez guys, thanks! So here is my 'thanks' back to you,**

**Enjoy:**

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

The grand city of Rio never ceases to amaze me. The vast amount of humans concentrated in one area still, to this day, surprises me. Usually the contrast between the few rich neighborhoods and the extremely poor is noticeable, and this flight was no different.

The mid-day sun was rather refreshing as I followed my friend Aley, and our new acquaintances into the vast concrete jungle that was the human world. I could taste the salt in the air particularly well as a cooling breeze blew in from the near-by sea. Without the clutter of the trees, I actually found the wide open air around the human civilization rather uplifting. But this, of course, was traded off with the many hectic sounds of the human world.

Where exactly we were going, I had no idea. Aley was so focused on Sam that she was acting rather strange... More so than usual.

It was as if her world revolved around anything he said or did, but that was Aley. She was a sucker for any cute bird that would give her the attention she craved for. Sam was quite a catch, but whether or not Aley liked him for anything other than his looks was still a mystery.

"Hey there," A voice to my right called out as I turned to meet Roy, the other Hyacinth macaw other than Sam. He flashed me his beaming smug look, a thing that all males of his type did in the hopes of attracting another. I decided to play along.

"Hello," I said in my regular, cheery tone. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Aley talking and laughing with Sam, who was leading the way to where ever we were going. Mason, the Lear's macaw, was flying out a short distance to my left, isolated from the group in a way.

"So, ever been to the new club that just opened up?" Roy asked me maintaining his rather smug look.

"Well, if it just opened up, I don't think that I could have... Have you?" I said pointing out the flaw in his logic.

"Nope, but I heard from some friends that it's planned to have some massively good drinks!" His gaze drifted off as he began recollecting memories from when he last indulged on alcohol, or rather the lack there of memory. Maybe he was just having a relapse of no brain activity due to his perhaps massive regular consumption. Who knows?

"Oh, well that's cool," I said dismissively as I tried accelerating my speed just the slightest to put a small cushion of space between us.

"Pssh yea, and maybe we could dance afterwards?" Roy said as he put forth another advance.

I just rolled my eyes, "Why not?"

Why not... Ugh, was this my fate? To go along with my best friend and get ditched with a rather self-centered alcoholic. I really wish sometimes I could find a perfect someone, really just the perfect macaw that would like me for me and not my looks. Sadly, it would seem with the way everyone is nowadays, they all just have their own selfish agendas.

We flew for another twenty-five minutes before landing down in a dilapidated alley on the edge of the slums of Rio. It was obvious that this wasn't the nicest place in town, but the faint pulse of music gave way to the presence of a club.

I'm not partial on clubbing, especially in the middle of the day. Isn't clubbing generally a night time thing? I was in Rio, and more importantly, by the beach. There was nothing more that I wanted to do than to fly out over the sea and enjoy the day. But Aley must have her way, and as her best friend she was obligated to drag me around.

"Right this way, ladies," Sam bowed as he pulled back a ragged curtain, exposing the entrance to the the club.

It was really dark inside with a many different lights flashing either which way. The music pulsated and a large crowd of various birds of various species dancing in the middle. Around the edge of the dance floor were tables dispersed about as birds mingled with each other holding various forms of alcohol.

The small group of birds that we came in with went their separate ways as Sam went back stage by himself to attend to some other matters. Me and Aley found a nice table towards the back to sit down as the other two macaws went off to attend to their own devices.

"So, what do you think?" Aley shouted over the blaring music and chatter. Even though she was half drowned out by the sound, I could still tell by her tone and expression that a surge of giddiness was pulsating through her.

"About what?" I said as I chuckled to the way she was acting.

"About Sam! Isn't he just the cutest?" Aley said dropping her tone down a bit so no one could eavesdrop. Her eyes panned left and right in a quick motion, then back to me as she flashed me a bashfully guilty expression.

"Haha, he sure is Aley!" I said shrugging a bit. I guess I was happy for her, even though they just met. I really don't expect much between the two of them. Knowing Aley, she'd probably be hooked on Sam for a couple days, perhaps a couple weeks, before some other bird came along or she got tired of him.

"And look at this club! Isn't this just the greatest?" Aley exclaimed as she spread her wings out to gesture at our surroundings. Her gaze wandered as I turned my own away.

_This is the greatest... Is it? Is this really what everyone makes it out to be? I couldn't help but feel sad for myself. I mean, no matter what no bird here is going to see me other than a possible one night fling. Nothing here is serious, this is no place to meet someone you can have a serious relationship with..._

_And who would want a relationship with me? I'm just the last female Spix's macaw.._

"Something wrong?" Aley asked with a questioning stare as she noticed me again.

"Me? Oh no, everything's fine Aley. 'This is the greatest', after all." I said back. Aley smiled at me and started staring back into the crowd. I took a deep sigh and started off into the myriad of dancing birds all bouncing to the same fluent beat of many percussive sounds that made up the samba song that was playing.

_For Aley's sake, at least, I wouldn't let her know my true discomfort. Sometimes I wish I could just be alone to think sometimes..._

"Oh, hey! Here comes Sam!" Aley exclaimed as she grabbed my wing in excitement. Sam weaved his way through the massive crown of birds on his way to our table. Upon arriving he flashed a sly smile to Aley but then noted my presence and spread his wings welcomingly.

"So how are you two?" He asked in a bright tone, "Enjoying yourselves?"

"Yea, this place sure is great Sam!" Aley said completely captivated by this macaw. How on earth could Aley become so obsessed in such a short period of time?

"I'm loving the music!" I said as I flashed him a fake smile. It wasn't that I'm ungrateful or that I completely hate clubs, I'm just really depressive at the moment..

"Glad you two love my new club!" Sam said as his smiled transformed into a satisfied smirk, "So Aley, I want to show you something back stage. Mind coming along?"

Aley jumped out of her seat and walked around to grab Sam by the wing, but the moment she saw me still sitting a small pang of guilt flooded her expression.

"Um, Annabelle?" She asked with an uneasy tone, "Will you be ok here by yourself?"

"Oh sure," I said as I gave her a reassuring smile, "I'll be fine, go ahead."

"Thanks Anna!" Aley chirped as she looked up to Sam and the two departed.

I didn't mind getting ditched by Aley to pursue this strange macaw who apparently owns this club. That's probably the reason Aley is so obsessed with him in the first place, he was the club owner. The part that kind of upsets me, though, is the fact that I'm now here alone and I can't possibly leave without my best friend whom I came here with.

So I was trapped here for a while. Never been much of a drinker, but perhaps I should go grab something...

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

"I'm going into Rio." I said as I turned away from the visitor that invaded my hollow.

Alex showed up on a daily basis, and every time he did I felt a weird chill down my back the second he arrived.

"Oh?" He question in that omniscient tone of his that never waivers.

"I want to see someone, a human. I haven't see her in a while, and I just want to know if she's still around."

"Blu, I know how you feel towards humans." Alex said. I turned to face him and his piercing stare focused in on me.

"I'm not going to talk, I just want to fly around mainly... And I want just to see her... from afar."

Silence followed my statement as he just continued to drill me with those eyes of his. Did he do this on purpose to make me nervous? It certainly worked..

"No." Alex said commandingly.

"Um, no? Why no?" I asked as I felt a bit defiant towards his answer.

He just stood there and continued to stare, probably reading me and my thoughts like a book. It got to me and I ended up snapping a bit.

"Look, you can't stop me. I'm going and I just want to fly around the city. It's been months and even though I hate her intentions and nature with every fiber of my being, Linda is like a mom to me, and I just want to see if she's doing alright."

I couldn't help but feel ashamed of myself. Linda had raised me my whole life, and yet after Jewel came into my life she lost her significance to me. Especially after Jewel's death, a deep hatred grew within me. I hated every and all humans for their selfish and dark intentions.

"And plus," I continued, "I need to move on. I need something to occupy my mind other then silence in which _she_ comes back to me..."

I rose up and started walking towards the entrance of the hollow, passing by the dark crow who just stared straight inside the hollow past me. Standing on the edge I stopped, waiting for any response from this being.

"Sometimes moving on brings more troubles than before," Alex said as he turned around to face me, "But it's the first step to a brighter future."

And here, for the first time ever, Alex the crow, smiled to me. Albeit very slightly, but he smiled all the same.

It only lasted for a couple of seconds as his expression straightened up again, "But don't forget her Blu. Never forget her."

"Thank you," I said in a sombre tone, "And I'll never forget her."

The wind felt amazing in my wings as I took off into the sky. Alex only pointed in the direction Rio, and using the sun as my ultimate reference, I navigated myself perfectly.

However, along the way, I couldn't help but feel a second meaning to Alex's words. He was obscure, but he conveyed his intentions in a way where you just understood what he meant, and I felt like he meant something more.

Before long, the grand city of Rio poked through the expanse of trees in the horizon and the many sounds and smells of the human world came flooding back.

* * *

**Let me know what you guys think! I appreciate all the feed back, it helps more than you guys realize!**

** ~~~ Leave a Review ~~~**


	6. Reverie

**Who needs sleep when I can release this chapter for you guys? Enjoy:**

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

It's true what people say, how the sun affects people in many ways. I noticed this as I flew into Rio. Against the clear, deep blue sky I flew high above the city. Radiant light and heat filled my soul as I soared with the wind in my feathers. It was refreshing, and for a slight moment I lost myself, no conscious thought, no worries, no concern.

Just peace.

The amazing Christ the redeemer statue broke me out of my trance as I began pondering the after life and what symbolic meaning humans put on the concept. Inevitably it got me to thinking about Jewel again.

I managed to keep my cool, but the thought of Jewel enveloped me again.

Closing my eyes as I flew brightly in the sky, I pictured her image right beside me.

_Jewel, I miss you,_ I called out to the imaginary Jewel in my head.

_I miss you too, Blu,_ she called back to me.

My heart flipped and fluttered about as I flew with Jewel again. The happy thought of her remained with me until I reopened my eyes.

"I love you Jewel," I called out as I changed my flight course. I had one objective for that day, and it really had two sides to it.

First of all, I wanted to see Linda again. Just the sight of her, I miss that old familiar face. She was, after all, the person who raised me for the first fifteen years of my life.

However, on a more important note, she can't see me, and I can't be captured by Tulio, Linda, or worse-case scenerio, smugglers. My freedom was all I had left, and captivity in a human's world would be the final blow my frail soul would sustain before spiraling into deep, tragic loss forever.

Banking on a sharp wind, I tilted my direction downwards, descending upon Linda's house. I carefully scanned the outside for any possible threats that might detect my presence, or give me away. Once I deemed it was safe, I carefully descended upon a window sill that was conveniently left open. Perhaps for the intent of welcoming me back with open arms if I ever did come back.

Before jumping down into the structure, I made extra sure the scan over the inside of the building. It's contents lay barren, and a ghostly silence filled the still deathly quiet room.

_No one here..._

I jumped down onto the carpeted floor below, landing with a small resounding thump. Padding along the side of the room, I walked a full circle around the inside of the room, taking in nostalgic scents and sights.

Thoughts of the past came flooding back, as I reminisced over the good times I had with my owner before we came to Rio. I felt almost bad for disappearing, but then I remembered back to that one fateful night in which I lost a part of myself. Scorn filled my heart again and another lapse of the deep yearning for Jewel that sent my soul into depression hit me again.

Before I completely lost myself in the thoughts and memories of Jewel again, the resonate sound of a door handle turning alerted me and I quickly took cover under the large couch that sat in the living-room conjoined with the kitchen.

It was Linda, and she carried many bags with her. No doubt filled with groceries and things she didn't need. But how could I blame her? Such is the way with humans to live wasteful, selfish, and meaningless lives.

She quickly set the bags down on the table and began to rummage through the crackling bags, pulling out the contents, and then storing them away to their rightful spot.

A solid five minutes went by as I watched her progressively sort through the massive amount of groceries. During the process, one item in particular caught my eye. It was a book, and it wasn't something she had brought in, rather it had been laying on the table the whole time.

Something was extremely familiar about the book and I felt as if I had seen it before. The second I noticed it, the thought of it nagged on me.

_What, oh what was this book?_ I wondered.

Upon finishing her task, Linda sighed deeply and took a seat at the table.

She muttered a phrase or two under her breath, to which I couldn't decipher for the life of me.

Her expression said it all, she was tired, perhaps exasperated from the days events. But there was something else behind her tired look. I could see sorrow in her expression as she rested her head on her hands.

She took another deep sigh, and reached for the book that caught my eye. She opened it up, and turned to the first page.

I stared at her for an eternity as she flipped through the pages, progressively drowning herself in the sorrow of each page. For the life of me I couldn't place a talon on what the book was, and it was killing me to find out.

It killed to watch her facial expression fill with depression at each tuning of the page. I genuinely felt sorry for her, and as her former companion there was nothing more I wanted to do than to fly next to her and comfort her.

Deep down I knew I couldn't, or more correctly, I wouldn't. I can't allow myself to get entrapped, and with the possibility of her capturing and holding me captive for the sheer fact that I was the last Spix's macaw, letting my presence be known was hazardous.

Still though, it ripped a void in the deep essence of my being seeing her spiral into sadness, the true reason still out of my grasp of knowledge.

I had to know what was on that book, _what could cause such a pain to Linda? Why was she starting to cry?_

The anticipation to know was killing me, but before it overwhelmed me, an opportunity arrived.

With the sound of three loud knocks a visitor let their presence be known to Linda, and with reluctant hesitation, she slowly stood up, wiped the tears from her eyes and went to answer the door.

_This was my chance,_ I thought.

Quickly, as soon as she left the room, I jumped up onto the table with a few powerful wing strokes. My eyes never left my prize as I reached for the old tome that held a faint familiarity. Opening up to the first page I almost about dropped dead.

It was... A photo album of me with Linda.

She was missing me, and looking back through old photos from the past. I couldn't help but flip through a couple pages, looking back at great photos. The skateboarding days, the highschool days, the spelling bee, it was all here. From the beginning of my life and the early years of Linda's, everything was in this book.

I wiped a few tears that fell from me off the book and proceeded to flip the page again. More and more memories flooded my head and I lost myself in the moment, reveling in spirals of nostalgia.

I felt dazed and the second I turned to the last page I felt a numbing chill of regret and self loathing surge through me.

It was a note, not just any note, but a note that was recently written out:

_"Thinking of you, wherever you are. I will always love you for the times that we had, and the times that we miss. You will always be my best friend, and I miss you as the days go by._

_Through tragedies and change, our lives may have led astray. Yet here I stay, praying one day you'll come back to me again._

_There were no times like the past, and maybe one day I'll see you again."_

A large pit of disgust welled up in my stomach as I literally lurched over, half stunned and confused.

_I miss you too... Linda..._

I wiped the tears out of my eyes that clouded my vision and stood back up, taking a deep sigh

"Blu?" A voice asked behind me, and my heart almost skipped a beat.

In the fastest, most direct way possible, I dove straight for the window sill. Landing on it quickly, I stopped and turned around. Linda was standing in the door way with a saddened look of confusion.

"Blu!" she called out in a desperately frantic cry.

I looked away to the outside world, took a deep breath and with a heavy heart, took to the skies.

* * *

It wasn't until I was in the air that I realized the traumatized state I was in. My breathing was exceedingly heavy, my stomach nearly giving out on me. If I was able to sweat, I'm sure I'd be having cold sweats. I couldn't shake the sight of Linda, how much pain I was causing her with my absence and rejection. I felt extremely guilty, yet this was for the best. I couldn't go back to the human's world. Not now, and not ever.

My stomach lurched again and my thoughts drove towards Jewel once again.

_Great.._ I thought, _Now I have two things on my conscience. The two women that I ever held dear to me in my life haunting me. I got ninety-nine problems... Ugh, I need a drink..._

I pondered the idea of alcohol. There was nothing logical stopping me, no responsibilities, no appointments that needed my attention. No, nothing that I needed to do, and this brought upon another interesting thought.

_I'm free, I have no obligations to anyone, nothing that I need to do and no purpose. I shouldn't have a care in the world, and yet, I've never been more depressed and down on my luck..._

_Nico and Pedro... Haven't seen those guys in ages and they were the only birds I knew to go to if I needed to drowned my sorrows. Since I have nothing holding me back, guess I have nothing to lose either._

My memory was a bit hazy, but eventually I landed down where their old club used to be. To my very unpleasant surprise, the club was completely empty. I was about to turn away, but curiosity pushed me into investigating further.

"Pedro? Nico?" I called out into the empty dark abyss. It was such a contrast to how I remember it. The once lively club filled to the brim with dancing birds and pounding music, exotic beats, and tasty drinks, was now empty.

A chill crept down my spine as I walked into the middle of the room and a stray draft hit my face.

"Hello?" Still nothing. _Guess this place is closed now. I wonder what happened to Nico and Pedro_.

"Is that Blu?" A familiar voice called from the dark depth of the back rooms.

"Nico? Is that you?" I answered back. Sure enough, the small canary walked through a small door way. "You've healed completely, I see." I said taking note to his seemingly perfect state of health.

"Yea.. I just have slight pain when I move my neck around, and that should heal eventually." Nico said rubbing his neck with his wing, testing it easily. His face took a more serious expression as he eyed me up and down, "How have you been, bud? Haven't heard from you in a while. Everyone thinks you're dead, Blu."

"I'm... fine. Thanks for asking," I said trying to dodge whatever questions he had.

"Look I know you don't wanna talk about it, but if you need someone we're here for you buddy." Nico said as he turned around, "Yo, Pedro! Come look who stopped by."

Pedro trotted through the same door way from which Nico came out of. He donned a surprised look once he laid eyes on me.

"Blu! Where have you been?" Pedro ran up and gave me a hug bear hug, "We thought you died!"

"Please... Get... Off..." I struggled to say past his restrictive grip, and once my message cleared through his head, he relented his grasp.

"Guys... What happened to the club? I've kind of had a bad day and I need a drink." I said cutting to the point in a monotone voice.

"Well, we've closed for little a while. There's a new club that has just recently opened up, and me and Pedro were about to go check it out." Nico said in a normal voice.

I gave him a slight smile, "Well, feel free to bring me along. It's been a while and I need an escape from reality just for a night."

"Sure thing Blu," Pedro started, "And hey, don't be a stranger. We know you've been having problems, but real talk for a sec, we're here for ya' buddy."

"Yea we are," Nico added.

I looked at the duo and never had I seen a more serious expression from either of them.

_So they can be real and mature when the situation arrises_, I thought.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it a lot," I said cracking another small smile, "Shall we go?"

"Sure thing Blu!"

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

I couldn't help but enjoy the music. I really love music and I love dancing. The feeling of losing yourself and throwing all self-conscious insecurities to the wind is refreshing. I didn't care who saw me, or why I did it, I just danced.

Letting my spirit go free, I stood up from the table in which I sat and went straight to the dance floor. The myriad of color from birds of all species clashed with the rave lights zipping around and flashing everywhere. The pounding music sent waves of beats throughout the floor that everyone synced their moves to. A dull roar of excitement and giddy pleasure contagiously filled the air as I let myself go.

Aley was missing out with whatever she was doing because I was enjoying myself in this moment.

I closed my eyes for a bit and swayed back and forth, focusing on the song and letting my heart do the moving for me.

So what if I was alone? Here in this song world, a drifty haze of ecstasy was all the company I needed and it washed off all of my worries and doubts.

Song after song flew by and I barely noticed myself to fatigue, but I decided I was thirsty enough to take a break. Heading off the dance floor, the contrast of wildly dancing to sitting down at the bar kinda has this surreal effect on you. You feel lost in the moment, as if you were in tune with the beat like waves of the sea. Coming out of that zone or phase, you mind still relapses from the motion of the waves that sent you into pure joy and fantasy.

I ordered non-alcoholic. It wasn't my nature to drink, and I wasn't going to start today. It's funny how refreshing something as simple as dancing can be. It really lightened my mood and brought me out of the depressing state that I was in. Sure I was alone, and sure I was borderline desperate to find that certain other, but love takes time.

Love takes time, and in the end when I find that one, true person, it won't matter what species he is. True love looks past that, and true love conquers all obstacles. I'm just going to have to wait...

I almost instantly downed the water I ordered. I guess when you take a second and let the adrenaline settle down you realize how tired you actually are, and man was I thirsty! For the second round I ordered some exotic mango tea. Non-spiked, of course.

The beverage only took about a minute to make its way to me, and I eagerly sipped down a few gulps. The cold refreshing drink also heightened my mood and I couldn't help but smile and gaze out onto the dance floor where the jumble of various birds danced their hearts out.

That's when I got a few taps on my shoulder.

Turning around I find none other than Roy, the stuck-up full of himself Hyacinth male.

"Hey Annabelle, nice moves out on the dance floor," He said with that smug look on his face, "Hows about you and me go out for another round of dancing?"

I rolled my eyes, _typical, he's hitting on me. Eh, I don't have anything better to do, why not?_

"Sure," I responded, although a skeptical thought speed through my head, I quickly dismissed it.

He reached out and grabbed my wing and led me back out on to the dance floor. He was kinda clumsy at first, but once he got in sync, he danced like a champ. I have to say I was quite impressed with his dancing, and I couldn't help but dance more with him.

It wasn't like I started having feelings for him or anything... It's kind of like a strange mutual thing where both parties are really good at dancing, so they dance just to have a partner on the same terms as them. It was quite enjoyable, albeit I wish it was anyone else in the world.

The beat speed up rapidly, building tension in the song as me and Roy matched our moves to keep up with the beat. I pulled a quick spin and met him again, returning to the group dance as the beat progressively built up faster and faster.

Before I knew what was going on, the beat reached a climax and hit a drop and in that moment, Roy grabbed me, bent forward and kissed me deeply.

I was more shocked than anything, I had no idea what was going on until 3 seconds after he started it. After he refused to get off of me, I quickly broke away from his gasp, pushing him away disgustedly.

"What the hell was that?" I asked angrily. The only response I got was a sheepishly self-satisfied grin. He had tricked me and got away with a kiss.

"Aww c'mon baby, you know you liked it," He said as he tried to continue on dancing with me again.

I just shoved him away again, "Get away from me, you pompous freak!"

_What a way to ruin a mood. How dare he?_

I stormed out of the club angrily, I couldn't stand being in the same building as that perverted tail-chasing bird. He and his kind can honestly leave me alone forever. I felt half violated and half embarrassed as every bird that I passed that looked at me and burned guilt into me even further.

_How could I let something like this happen?_ I thought as I reached the outside. I stood there for a minute recapping the events and I just slapped myself for putting myself in that position. Angrily, I stomped the floor and flew up to the roof.

The sun was setting now, and the day was wasted. _Such a pitiful excuse of a day, such a waste._

I sat on the roof and watched as the last of the sun fell below the horizon.

_I hope Aley is having a better time than I am..._

* * *

**O.O**

**Hoped you like the chapter, wonder what's going to happen next? The next chapter might take longer because I'll be busy this weekend. I'm surprised I got it out ****_This_**** early... I put a TON into this chapter for what little time I had! **

**As always, if you liked this chapter and you want to let me know that you liked it, Then...**

**~Leave a Review~**


	7. For The First Time

**This'll be quite a treat. Special thanks to Rapture at Sea for looking over and amping up this chapter. Thanks for the beta!**

**Sorry this one took so long, I had a ton of stuff going on... but I'm sure this will make up for it ;)**

**Enjoy:**

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

The sun had lowered considerably by the time we finally left the old club. Tasting the salt in the air again excited me. It was a defining characteristic of Rio, being right next to the sea and all. For it was in Rio I knew that soon, I'd be in the club scene again.

Memories and tidbits of previous experiences zipped through my head and lifted my heart to another degree of excitement and anticipation. I was about damn ready to let myself go, to wash away the layers of stress and sadness that blanketed my consciousness and sent me into lamentation.

The lights, the smells, the sounds… man oh man the sounds were the best! The music and beats that pulsed through your entire being, that fueled you to let go of yourself and leave all doubt behind, to dance all night long. But…

But I also saw _her_... images of the angel who was once my mate manifesting in my head again. Would the dancing truly aid my spirit?

"You okay, Blu?" Nico called out as he noticed my pace had slowed up considerably.

Breaking out of my trance, I readjusted my eyes, rolling them around in my head before opening them again. "Uh," I coughed once to clear up the film from the back of my throat, "Yeah, sorry. I'm… fine." I stated, giving my wings a few powerful beats to catch up to the duo leading me to my destination.

"Ya kinda zoned out there, Blu," Pedro warned. "Are ya sure you're OK?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry about me," I stuttered out in my old familiar tone. "It's just..." I started again in a more solemn tone, "I... I need to get away from this nightmare that I'm trapped in."

"Hey Blu bird," Nico piped in again, "We understand. We got you. Speaking of getting away, we're already here."

Nico gestured towards an old, decrepit alley way void of any human life or activity. The alley itself was long abandoned, and the surrounding buildings, I suspected, were deserted warehouses. Regardless of the distasteful atmosphere, this was prime real estate for clubs of the avian type.

Banking sharply on a sudden gust, Nico and Pedro angled down towards the path. Following their quick turn, I lowered myself down towards the strip of ground as well.

When I reached the turf, I instantly recognized the powerful beat. There was definitely a club here. Nico jogged a short ways ahead and approached a small ragged cloth nailed to the wall. Reaching out with one wing, he pulled back the cloth and bowed towards me and Pedro. "After you," he called with a sweep of his sun-yellow appendage.

I shot him a quick smiled and walked in. I heard Pedro give a small snicker behind me at Nico's gesture and the two slapped wings.

Everything I was hoping for and more I found on the inside of this old building. The wild music filled my entire being, the crazy, flashing lights appealing to my sense of sight. The unique smells, which here were a musky, smoky haze in the air that wasn't necessarily appealing, held their own nostalgic value.

I sure as heck was in the right place.

Relaxing myself instantly, I paced around the outer edge of the club, walking past many tables filled with various species of the avian type. The dance floor flourished with life as the countless multihued bodies blended together in a rainbow of waving colors, flickering vividly in sync with the beat. I closed my eyes for a second or two, taking in the stimulation and inhaling a deep breath.

_Well, here I am. Time to party._

Figuring I'd hit up the bar first to intoxicate my mind and body, I plodded on over and took a seat right in front of the bartender.

The bar itself was located on the opposite side of the entrance. The dance floor was in the shape of a large semi-circle facing the stage which held a DJ booth. On the outer ring of the club, many tables and booths lay scattered across the area sanctioned for sitting. None of the tables really matched, but no one seemed to mind the badly-chosen decor one bit. After all, that's not why people were here to begin with. And besides, the out-of-control lights emanating sporadically from the DJ booth were insane enough to please any wasted bird.

The bartender noticed me almost instantly. "Whatcha be having?" he asked in a deep, gruff voice.

"Start me off with a heavy lemon bomb," I replied back. Lemon wasn't necessarily my favorite, but I wasn't about to order anything that would remind me of…

The toucan who ran the bar mumbled something as he turned around to whip up my drink. Shifting my gaze out to the dance floor again, I held a wider and higher view than before. I could see clear to the other side of the room, in fact. The tops of birds' heads bobbed up and down as my eyes surveyed the floor. As my eyes fixated on the mass of birds, I started to pick up on a small trend. Many of the birds danced in pairs of two, twirling their partners around during many of the drops in the beat. It amazed me watching how well synced every bird danced with the music. They interacted almost like clockwork, never once missing a step or fouling their rhythm. However, any lone participants seemed few and far between.

"Here's your drink," I heard a gruff voice behind me call. The resounding _clack_ of the glass on the table furthered his statement as I turned to be greeted by a small yellow beverage. Sizing it up, I looked over it carefully, sucking in a quick whiff that filled my head with the stinging aroma of lemons. Eagerly I placed one wing on the cup, bringing it up to my beak. Taking a small sip, I tilted the concoction down towards my beak. A drop of the sour juice swamped over my tongue and slipped down my throat, causing my face to contort. Licking my beak, I picked up a small bit of sweetness after the initial rush of sour.

Satisfied, I tossed the liquid straight down my throat, gulping it down rather fast. Immediately I regretted doing so, as a burning sensation enveloped my throat. The alcohol was intensely strong and acidic, and I coughed twice into my wing as it singed my throat. I then inhaled and exhaled deeply, soothing my irritated insides. After a short amount of time, a slight buzz replaced the burn and I returned my attention to the site of the endless motion.

Every bird out there seemed so ecstatic and happy, which contagiously rubbed off onto me and possessed me.

With a delusional smile on my face, I climbed down from the bar stool, the pounding of my heart in alignment with the thudding bass.

I could feel the tune in my heart and the samba in my soul, and I could not get enough. Ambling my way towards the entrance of the dance floor, I froze and whirled around.

I spied a Military Macaw couple at one table making out, eyes sealed shut and beaks locked together as they drowned themselves in bliss. At another table in the far corner, a Hyacinth Macaw couple cuddled and rested their heads on each other, both content with merely being in close proximity to their soul-mate.

I was petrified, glued to the spot by my own unrelenting loneliness. The constant revelation playing over and over again in my subconscious gave way to a blinding sudden surge of realization. _Their worlds must be perfect, their lives complete. They're all at ease, treasuring and showing the utmost affection for each other. And yet, here I am, stripped of the only bird that ever cared for me and showed me love. They have it all… all they could ever want and need… and I am left with nothing. There's no reason for me to even be here on Earth, to waste precious oxygen and take up precious space. Without Jewel... there's no reason for me… to even exist._

Many times I've pondered the meaning of life, and every time I arrived at the same answer. Life only holds as much meaning and worth as an individual places upon it. And in my situation, life held no residual value to me. Life held no meaningful worth, as I had no one to hold me and love me.

A sickening sensation clogged my airway, and my stomach flipped end over end as immense pangs of hurt and loss ravaged me from head to tail. In the exact moment in which I turned to metaphorical stone, I realized how trivial and meaningless a club actually was. There was no joy inherent in dancing when you were by yourself. All it did was create a false sense of belonging that was as fragilet as a thin sheet of glass.

Sobering up in a matter of seconds, I dashed all my hopes of improving my mood and sulked my way out the door.

_What's the point of fighting and surviving without you, Jewel? What purpose does my life have? What can l do to make myself remotely happy or help my soul escape the trauma? Is it my fate to wake up in solitude every day for the rest of my life, always suffering your loss? What other future could I possibly experience?_

My breathing intensified and my chest shuddered as I exhaled painfully. The dank, chilled walkway mirrored how I felt on the inside. _Such a place is perfect for someone like me..._

It was full dark at this time, as the last few rays of light having been extinguished during the duration of my stay inside the hell house. The omnipotent moon shone in a pleading manner above my head.

Bemoaning my fragmented self, I took to the sky. Tears leaked out of my eyes as I departed the earth, robbing me of my will to fly anywhere.

Rising to the peak of the building, I soared a block away, distancing myself from the facade that Nico and Pedro immersed themselves in. Touching down on a ledge, I drew in another labored breath that forced more tears out of my eyes. _Jewel, can you explain why I should even bother staying alive?_

Resting my head on my wings, I stared up. The moon shone down brightly, and in return I drilled my gaze into the silvery beams. Its hypnotizing qualities captivated me as my mind wandered off into the epitome of sadness.

Drops of moonshine sparkled in every tear that left my face and dropped through the air, each sphere of liquid exploding into nothingness on the coarse rooftop. And with each passing minute that I peered into the core of the Moon's everlasting glow, my heart exploded too.

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

What's with birds these days? Why does it seem that, as time goes on, the morality of society becomes more and more corrupt? What ever happened to the sensible birds that always held meaningful notions higher than their selfish desires?

Roy serves as a perfect example of this. All he cares about is himself, his own personal desires and goals. He wanted to be the center of the universe, and was damn good at manipulating others to help him do just that. How could Aley buy into that group of birds? Could she not see through the lies and the deceit? How could she submerge herself in such bigotry, such trash, such immoral, delusional crap?

I hope, for her sake, Sam is different. I really do...

I rocked my feet where I sat, bathing in the wash of illumination from the Earth's companion. Did the moon feel isolated with no stars around to travel with it on its journey through the inky blackness of space? Or was it too proud and vain to care? Not a single pinpoint shone in the sky, and yet, the full moon reliably painted Rio with grace and beauty.

Maybe I'll hold fast to what I know and believe is right, never falling prey to the ill-intentioned wishes of others. I'll uphold my morals and standards to the very end, whether society curses me or not. Mainstream society and all of its introspective cravings can just ignore me. I'll be the odd one out amidst the enormous crowd of beings seduced by degradation and immorality.

A small patch of warmth filled my heart as I claimed a victory over the sinful world in which I lived_. Come hell or high water, I will never lose my grip on my sanity on this crazy planet._

The wind ever so slightly caressed my feathers with its silky touch, tickling my sides and disturbing my tail harmlessly. Closing my eyes, I flopped onto my back, listening to the serene sound of the wind as it breathed.

_Why can't there be more nobility and goodness on Earth than greed and evil?_

Again the wind picked up, howling ever so faintly. It was on this particular night that the wind whispered to me, and I embraced the magical noise. But I listened deeper, I soon realized that it wasn't quite the wind that was howling.

Rotating my head towards the direction of the sound, I strained my sense of hearing intently. Low, rolling sobs echoed from the far end of the warehouse district. I opened my eyes as the epiphany hit, curiosity driving me to my talons.

Another round of sobs I heard, and this time I was certain it was some bird crying. It had to be...

I searched the rooftops for source of the hollow whimpering, but even with the moon's radiance I was having trouble locating the bird that was creating it.

I deftly rose into the air as silently as I could, focusing extra hard to determine from which direction the sound was loudest. I battled the breeze and flew off in said direction.

I increased my altitude to fly over a larger, more broken-down building. In doing so, I caught a glimpse of a dark figure, perched on a rooftop slightly ahead of me.

It wasn't in my nature to leave a creature in such distress, so I dived down towards the dark blue lump.

As I gradually glided down, it became apparent that the figure was of the avian denomination, namely a male macaw, as I figured from his body shape and masculine cries.

_Gee, he sounds torn up. Wonder what happened to make him so sad… _I thought as I perched down behind him silently. He was too absorbed with spewing out tears to have noticed me, so I took a deep breath and announced my presence.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked in a hushed tone. The macaw shuddered and wiped some tears from his face, sniffling as more rushed in to replace them.

"No... I am too wounded… to ever… be okay…" he mumbled as he bent his head and studied his limp feet.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?" I questioned as sympathetically as I could.

The macaw sniffed desperately and rubbed his face hard with one wing. I saw the halves of his beak split apart as he formed a reply. "Do you have... any idea… how hard it is… to lose… that one special macaw… that you loved… with all your heart?" His voiced constantly cracked as he fought to talk properly and maintain his composure. My heart dropped clear to my stomach, and I sincerely felt sorry for him.

"No," I said guiltily, "I can't say that I do. I've never loved anyone so deeply. I've never had a family..." I felt awful and pitied myself, but I pitied this poor male even more.

I approached him slowly, placing one wing on his back and hoping he wouldn't reject it. He didn't push it off, so I continued, "I can't relate, stranger. I can't possibly imagine the pain you're going through. But perhaps I can try. Do you care to tell me her name?"

"Je-Jewel..." he moaned. For some reason, his tone leveled out and blew out a heavy sigh.

"Jewel, huh? That sounds… familiar," I admitted as I closed my eyes, scouring my brain for any recollection or memory of a Jewel. Whoever she was, she sure did a number on this macaw, leaving him and all...

A mutual silence enveloped us for a minute or two before I heard him remark depressingly, "Everything in this city... is a trigger. I try to get away, I try to find some peace, but I just can't. She was my one true love… my everything… and now she's gone…" The macaw paused for a moment as his chest heaved in and out. "I... I can't figure out why… I should forget her… and move on. Everyone says… that I need to… if I want to heal… but I can't let go of her."

My heart sank again and I felt tears threaten to swamp my own eyes. Taking a seat next to the macaw, I gazed at the side of his face. "Is it true what they say?" I asked innocently. In my peripheral vision, I saw him glance at me for a split second.

"Is what true?" he asked as he sniffled again.

"That it's better to have loved and lost… than to never have loved at all?"

"No!" The macaw exclaimed hoarsely. His response was so unexpected that I gave a small flinch. In a tiny voice he added, "It can't be. I never knew what love was… until Jewel poured it onto me… and when she was taken… her love vanished. I will never recover… from the pain… of being starved... of her affection. I will never be the same. I will never be cheerful again."

"I may not know much... but... what about all the good times that you've had? What about..." I surveyed his features for the first time, "The love that you two shared?"

He only had the willpower to lock eyes with me for an instant, and then he shied away in despair. "I... I don't know. I… I miss her so much."

Studying his features one thing became clear. He was no Hyacinth Macaw or Lear's Macaw. Oh no... he looked just like me!

"Your face..." I whispered, "Are you… a Spix's macaw?" I asked incredulously as I studied his face closer.

"Yes. My name... is Blu."

"Blu!" I gasped as I almost toppled over. "Oh my gosh, Blu! I've heard about what happened to you... and Jewel."

He gave me a sour look. "And I've heard about you too... sending friends to try and win me over. You're exactly the reason I'm so hurt. No one will let me be…"

_Sending friends? Oh! He's thinking about those two military macaws..._

"No no no!" I exclaimed defensively, "I'm not like that... they were just... I don't know what they were doing. But I didn't send them."

Blu just shook his head in dismissal. "Blu… I would never try and steal your heart from Jewel, even though she... left you," I said in a somber voice.

I took another deep breath. "But... I'm sorry you're suffering the way you are... is there some way I can help?"

"Unless you can bring Jewel back to me, then no. But I do appreciate your company." Rising to his feet, Blu looked down at me again. "What's your name?"

"Annabelle... but friends call me Anna."

"Annabelle," Blu muttered. "Thank you... I guess. It was nice talking, but I need to head back into the forest."

"I... I'll see you around then?" I asked in a small voice.

"Maybe. Goodbye, Anabelle." With those last words, Blu lifted off towards the vast jungle. He flapped four times to gain altitude, and was swallowed up by the night.

"Goodbye, Blu," I called, but he was nowhere to be seen.

It wasn't until after he had left and silence had taken over again that I realized how stressed the encounter had made me. I felt genuinely sorry for the broken bird. Giving off a few shudders, I took my own leave and sped off on my beating wings. _Aley can fend for herself I can always meet up with her tomorrow. I just want to get home..._

With the thought of the poor, broken bird in my mind, I flew to the depths of the jungle, back to my solace and my own hollow. _Well, today sure turned out to be heartbreaking and terrible…_

* * *

**Hope you guys liked it!**

**As always... Leave a review!**


	8. Free Yourself

**Ah, It's been a while, readers. No one saw this update, not even me! Alright, cutting to the point, it has been so long that I needed to write some short introduction to myself back into the swing of things. Hope it's not too much as much as I've focused on how miserable Blu is.**

**Hope you guys enjoy.**

* * *

**(A Monologue From Blu)**

How far would you go to protect what matters most to you?

Your very livelihood your love? How much does that mean to you? What if, deep inside, you just can't come to terms with reality? What if a part of you dies, never to come back, no matter how hard you pull and pull? No matter how hard you dug deep into yourself, no matter how much you hoped or prayed, desired or longed for, what you loved was gone. Forever.

What happens then? What happens to you then?

The depths of insanity hold security for someone like me. For, at the very least, within insanity the world bends to my desire, becomes my own. Perhaps those beings who define something as insane are insane themselves. But… no matter how insane I become, she still never comes back.

There's so much anger inside me. I feel it eating away at who I used to be. The seams of reality, the very things that used to hold my world together, are gone. My heart yearns and destroys itself for what will never be again.

So what do you do? When your whole world crumbles around you and you look at yourself in the end and realize that maybe, just maybe, you were alone the whole time. Maybe fate conspired against you from the get-go. Maybe the day you were born the natural world decided your depressing fate.

What do you do? What is there to hold on to?

The only thing that is left is the memory in your heart, the last relevant and remaining piece of her. The last thing you can see when you close your eyes. The last thing you can take refuge in, even though it also destroys your emotional barriers.

I won't ever recover from this… but… somehow…

Somehow I think there's more. There's more beyond just the first loss. Beyond the destruction that is my current reality, my home and prison that is the present. The reality that tore her away from me, and the boundary between life and death. There has to be more… and yet… deep down, would it be worth the risk again?

Loneliness is a killer among all.

It's the one equalizer among men and creature alike, the very thing that tears down anyone's conscious or any strong thinkers. No matter how resilient your resolve or mentality is, it's the one thing that whittles away at you until you are left alone, in the dark, with your throat raw from screaming, yet no one can hear you.

Back in my previous life, I once espied on a television show regarding prison life among humans. The show interviewed one inmate on what he feared most. Pain. Pain is an object, something you can tangibly measure physically. No amount of physical trauma can break strong resolves, oh no. Death?Death is the end and if you manage to keep your sanity, and you can successfully say you lived the way you wanted.

Yet this inmate's response astounded me, after being condemned for life to a cell, his only fear was not death, or pain, or any amount of torture. His only fear was being alone.

Alone.

Such an answer surprises me, because never in a million years would I ever agree with him. Never would I have even placed any amount of relevance in his answer and I would disregard it. And I still would to this day, had I not experienced first-hand.

No matter how much you claw around, how much you wish and hope for it to stop, loneliness kills. You can't deny it, it changes people, makes them revert back to their primal instincts.

It degrades the brain, the mindset; it destroys what little value you have in your life and invalidates any order. Because when you're alone, your darkest demons, your most secret of secrets, your unimaginable and intangible fears, come true.

True loneliness, segregation, separation… when no matter what you do, there will be nothing. No help, no one to hold you, no one that can or will empathize or even sympathize with you.

That's a fate worse than anything else, and I am living it.

* * *

**(Alex)**

The world itself is a terrible place. We, as beings in this terrestrial realm, are placed here innocently naïve to the terrors of our home. The world betrays us, feeding us false hope and love as it strips away the very love it gave us, leaving nothing but pain and sorrow.

There is no true way to conquer such a place, no way to win against the unfortunate outcomes. The world takes what it wants as unfairly as it placed us in itself, breathing life into our lungs, only to take it away. That's part of the reason I preach equality.

I don't believe we should be tearing each other apart when reality itself does a good job at that already. We can't allow ourselves to fall victim to an endless cycle of revenge and retribution, clawing at each other trying to get ahead in life. That would inevitably lead to the destruction of us all.

When one experiences the pain of loss, pain that's akin to being punched in the throat and stabbed in the chest repeatedly, one does not truly recover from such an endeavor. It's beyond repairable, there is no such cure, no replacement, no salvation.

Loss is like a bottomless pit of torment that poisons all feelings and emotions, sapping what little happiness and warmth radiates from everyday life. The only way to cope is to ignore.

Blu hasn't fell off the cliff and into that pit. I still see hope within him. I see it that he's special, unique. That's the only reason I decided to reach out to him. He's experienced the pain of loss, yet within the depths of depression and darkness within his soul, there's still hope.

Hope that I never had or could ever wish for. Hope for recovery, an impossibility for me.

That is what intrigues me about him. He's the only being I've ever seen have the potential to overcome, to beat fate and the dark card it has casted him. Yet it's only hope, not truth. I intend to help change that.

There was always something strange about me, as if my body was bound to Earth, but my mind was bound to another realm. After fate stripped me of my love, ruined my physical self, I was always able to see beyond what most people could. I could sense on a whole new level, notice and interact with the invisible ghosts of years past.

…

So it was no surprise she managed to contact me…

Blu's departure earlier in the day intrigued me. He was making definite progress in recovery, as I could tell he wanted to tie loose ends up and perhaps see old friends. As broken as he still is, I still see a glimmer of steadfastness in his eyes, and I pondered what exactly set him apart from other birds as I watched him disappear into the horizon.

With the day still new, I focused on suppressing my demons and going through daily routines, finding what little nourishment I required from a banana tree. The meal itself sustained and satisfied me, and when I was done, I tossed the remnants to the ground below. With the closure of my morning nourishment and the departure of Blu, I pondered what worth this day would bring and decisively committed myself to remaining placid. Calm apathy, however, was something that would elude me today.

Upon returning to my hollow, I indifferently stared out into the milky dawn, reading the birds and wildlife of the jungle like books. How happy they all were, and how fragile their existence was in the picturesque view I had. Drips of sunlight peaked through the canopy as vivid green lusciously engulfed the trees and brush around me. Espying a couple mingle around a mango tree, I started to feel the hollowness inside me.

That's when it hit me. The eerie chill that creeps down your back, tingles your spine and ruffles your tail feathers. The shiver that flows through your shuddering body as something not quite natural passes over you.

The feeling loomed over me and clouded my senses, and in the moment it felt like time stood still. The world around me froze, and an impending sense of dread and sorrow radiated from behind me. Slowly turning my attention around to the inside of the hollow, I tilted my head around. My hollow lay bare as it had always been, yet I could feel an otherworldly presence within, beckoning to me. Stepping away from the entrance, I slowly crept to the center, my curiosity piqued.

The chamber, devoid of life aside from me, lay ever still and quiet, secluded from the outside world. I spun my head around, getting a full 360 degree view of my abode, glancing over the entrance and back towards the deepest recesses of my home.

Still nothing.

Releasing a deep, pent-up breath, I hobbled back towards the entrance. However, the second I turned my back and took a step forward, I heard a faint wisp of wind, as if someone had flapped their wings ever so slightly.

My eyes rolled back, and I felt like my body curled in upon itself and was tossed into my own mind. A jet-black space greeted me, possessing an ethereal floor that I stood on, but no walls or ceiling. A shifting cloud of fog materialized from the endless blackness and drifted closer, swirling and arranging itself into a specific shape.

The bird in front of me was definitely a macaw, yet its translucent form obscured the exact gender and species. It was merely a shadow given substance, and it drilled into me with the dark gray depressions that were its eyes.

I cocked my head to the side as I match the being's gaze, "Who are you?" I asked out in a neutral tone.

"One who has left the world, yet remains connected to the sadness I have left behind," the shadow whispered back in a definite feminine voice.

"Why have you brought me here, into the mysterious universe within my head?" I asked as I meticulously ran her sentence over in my head several times, going over every word to fully comprehend the meaning behind them.

"Because you can help. You have already helped, but I simply need you to send one last message." The shadow whispered as it dissolved into the air, only to re-materialize a few inches closer. "During my previous existence, my name was Jewel. You knew of me, Alex."

I flinched and immediately connected the lines. This was the specter of Jewel, a vision reaching out to me.

"Oh," I said in an outburst of understanding, "Then what exactly do you want?"

"Blu... my poor Blu…" The wraith of Jewel hesitated, and I felt another wave of sorrow pass over me.

"Tell him to forget about me. Tell him to move on and live a happy life," she said, refocusing her gaze on me.

I merely shook my head. "After what your death put Blu through, you want him to just simply get over that? He loved you beyond measure. Romantic ties that deep are impossible to sever. The feeling of loss never goes away. You expect him to look the other way and find another?"

For reasons unknown to me, I felt anger inside me build, and I questioned why I was reacting this way.

She remained motionless, never taking her eyes off me.

"I loved Blu as well, but I can't stand seeing him suffer in pain for the rest of his life because of me. I feel his suffering. He's trapped… he's trapped inside himself…"

Another pause, and then she resumed speaking in her echoing voice.

"Blu's misery is something I caused. I love him too much to see him in pain for something I brought upon him. Tell him that I will always love him, and he will always be mine… but I just want him to live a happy life. Remove the burden of me from him, Alex. Do this for me, because you of all people know how bad it is to entrap such sorrow. Free his soul."

The last three words the shadow whispered faded into my ears and lingered softly in my head. Free his soul. Free. His. Soul.

The shadow disappeared and left me alone, leaving a blanket of what terrible emotions and feelings it contained over me. The world, still frozen around me, completely left my mind as those last three words echoed in my head…

Then, as if awaking from a dream, I opened my eyes.

Gasping for breath, I looked around my hollow. It was still morning, yet it remained a mystery if it was the same day. My body and mind felt well rested, as if I had just woken up from a deep sleep. Tears threatened to drop from my eyes from the experience I had endured, yet I was not truly sad myself.

Memories of the shadow and vision still clouded my head, yet whether or not it actually happened became obscure to me. Was it a dream? Or did it actually happen?

Peeking out the entrance, I espied the birds of the jungle stirring to begin their morning duties and routines, ready to start the day.

The three words Jewel uttered still lingered in my head, and I had nothing to do but sit and ponder her message to me…

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

Morning is always a joyful experience for me. It's the breath of a new day, a greeting from the world as the past is put behind you and you're allowed to start again. "Today's a new day" as the saying goes. It's arguably my favorite time of the day.

Brushing off the events of the day before, I hopped out of my nest. I took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds as I walked to the edge of my hollow, peering outside greeting the sun and all of it's beauty. Exhaling slowly I smiled, stretching my wings open and swiveling my head on it's axis.

First things first, I thought, food.

Being in the mood for mango as I was, I took to the skies, gliding down to a patch of mango trees by a small river. I was greeted several times along the way by my neighbors, who included two families of hyacinth macaws and a few military macaws, including a new couple that informed me of the bond they recently formed.

Upon arriving to my select group of fruit trees, I landed on branch towards the top, picking one ripe mango. The fruit smelled amazing and it's bright, full appearance only encouraged me to take my first bite with haste. I delved into the mango, ripping it open and feasting on the juices and nutrients within.

Satisfied with my meal, I glided off the branch down to the little brook below. Stepping down on the banks, I nipped a beak full of water.

A few minutes passed by, and once I quenched my thirst I began to meticulously preen my feathers, going over each one to remove and grit or dirt and renewing my coat. More grime covered my vivacious coat than usual, and I attributed it to my miserable time in the club among the birds of the night life.

It would be a while, I figured, before I'd try that again… Maybe on a less crowded night with friends that won't run off.

Speaking of which, I thought, Where is Aley? What on earth happened to her?

As if on cue, an outburst of chirps rang out from above calling my name, "Annabelle!" A familiar voice repeated.

Turning around I looked up, catching two blue macaws with a faint hint of yellow in their faces flying towards me. Immediately I recognized Aley, and I shook my head in amazement at the coincidence of having just been thinking about her. However the second I recognized Sam, my mood dropped slightly.

Once the two dropped down next to me, they both exchanged greetings with me, beaming at each other during any intermission that came up.

"So, what happened last night Anna?" Aley asked curiously, "You disappeared and Roy said you freaked out and ran off."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. What happened to you two?" I asked, brushing off her question.

Aley just smiled bashfully and looked at Sam, placing her wing across his back as he put his wing around her.

"We, well… we had a wonderful night. Had a magical dinner, a few drinks and the such."

Sam chuckled a bit when Aley finished her sentence.

"A few drinks?" he joked as he nudged her, "Aley went a little crazy. I had to stop her."

"We had a good time," Aley remarked rubbing her wing across his back, "I guess you could say we're a couple now, we kinda… hooked up."

Hooked up? I thought, oh damn, she means they…

"You hooked up?" I blurted out unceremoniously, "on the first night? Aley…" I cut myself off, shaking my head in disapproval.

"Well yeah… Anna, we didn't actually commit to it. We just kind of… fooled around," Aley said as she let off a shrug

"There's no harm in that, is there?"

My frown intensified, "I just, I don't know. Aren't you rushing things a bit? It was a first date, after all."

"Rushing things?" Aley asked in a slightly hostile tone. "What is that supposed to mean? We didn't actually mate, or anything. You know what, Anna, maybe you should lighten up and live a little. That's why you're still alone, and we both know that. You keep to yourself too much."

Or maybe I treasure what morality I have, I thought to myself.

"I guess you're right," I said to the side, defeated on the conversation and not wanting to pursue it further.

It wasn't in me to argue with her, and I found the situation hopeless. There was no convincing Aley of her mistake no matter how much I disapproved of it.

A short silence passed over us as the three of us awkwardly stood still

"So… what happened between you and Roy?" Sam asked brushing the awkward moment by.

"I just needed some fresh air, I guess," I replied, not wanting to think about the childish bird that was Roy or the crime he committed to me.

"Well hey, Anna," Aley started up again, "we came by to tell you that we're going back to the club tonight. Want to come?"

"No, I think I'm going to rest today," I replied back. I could tell Aley was a bit disappointed but she tried to hide it from me.

"Well, We'll see you around then, I guess."

"See you later," Sam said as he lifted into the air.

"Bye," I called back as I waved after the couple, now flying in the opposite direction.

The second the two left, I sat down on the bank of the river.

What's happened to my friend? I thought as I focused on repressing the tears that started developing. Should I just be like them? What's left for me to do? Am I forever cursed to being alone?

Many more questions flushed through my head, but I shook them off.

_I guess I'm just going to rest at home today…_

Standing up to my full height, I looked down at the pond. A shimmer of my reflection gazed back at me. I focused in as the water stilled and an image of my best friend Aley looked up at me, staring deep into my eyes, questioning me and taunting me.

I could read the message she was sending me. She flaunted her new reckless relationship in my face, and the reflection truly infuriated me. No longer able to look at the water, I stomped it furiously, destroying the image in a spray of water droplets.

I then growled to myself and spread my wings, soaring back home.

* * *

**(Blu)**

Loneliness is a byproduct of a starvation.

A starvation of love, of belonging, of reason to be; If that's the question at hand.

Those lonely nights, I've spent wanting

Waiting for salvation

Waiting for you.

Darkness, darkness clouded my mind that night. Upon returning back to my hollow I more-or-less crashed inside than landed, scraping my chest and wings against the ground when I sluggishly threw myself down. This new arrival, this new bird… She seemed so young and innocent, so pure and caring and the sight of her familiar pure blue coat almost sent me reeling.

She reminded me so much of my loved one, yet she was as different as she was alike. She was a great deal younger, not terribly so, but it was noticeable. Her voice was softer, and she seemed so fragile as opposed to the strong willed Jewel. I knew from her tone that she was being absolutely genuine with me, and she actually cared.

She cared for me in my time of depression, that's why I left. Why would anyone care for someone like me? It's something I don't understand… Something that scared me with the comfortable feelings it brought.

Besides, I'm too broken so associate with a bird as pure hearted as her. She's still got so much life, so much vitality, it'd be best if someone like me didn't weigh her down. Even as an acquaintance.

I shook my head and rose up from where I was slumped on the floor, dragging my wings and feet to the empty nest in the heart of the hollow.

Yet the hollow itself represented my heart, with the empty nest where a bird used to belong, yet never shall it be filled with warmth again.

I didn't reach the nest itself, instead I fell to the side landing on the edge face first.

_I don't deserve such comfort,_ I thought, _A failure of a broken bird like me doesn't deserve such comfort._

Closing my eyes I focused on the only thing that brought comfort to me. Her, namely the warmth she brought me. Her luscious, blue eyes, the symbol of her life and the representation of her personality. I knew those eyes, and it was as if I could read her soul, her entity and being from the two windows that now only existed in my mind. The passionately fiery look she had, the way her eyes met mine on those nights we held each other… Nights like this.

I truly hated myself, for what was I without her? Useless I was to the world and to anyone around me. Many times over I cursed the bird I had become without her. Emotionless, cold, dried up…

Logic no longer held bounds to me, and many times I desperately called out to some higher being, yet as a hopeless bird, no deity would take. Condemned even in the afterlife…

It wasn't long before my mind wandered into more abstract areas, passing out of the conscious world to the safety of my dreams. Yet there never really is such a thing as true serenity. Paradise is a reality that doesn't exist, because the coexistence of light and dark is always ever so present.

And such a bittersweet reality haunted my dreams as it did my real world.

I saw her, again as I do on most nights, yet something was different. Usually I would see her appearance, hear her voice, and shreds of memories of scents and touches would cloud my mind, and I would drift off in this euphoric like state until morning reached into my sub-consciousness and pulled me out, thus starting my "mourning" cycle over again.

Yet this time… This time I actually felt something. It wasn't just clouds of memories, jumbles and glimpses of what used to be in the past. This time I _felt_ it… felt _her_.

She was there, staring back at me with her fiery hot, yet passive gaze. It was almost like she was expecting something of me, but then her gaze softened. Her blue irises glazed over and she looked down slightly and turned away.

"Blu," I heard her whisper out like a faint breeze. My heart leaped a mile and almost burst out of my chest. "Blu," she repeated.

I opened my mouth, as if to call out, but nothing came out. No vibrations resonated from my throat and out my mouth. Not a sound.

Taking a small step forward, I nearly stumbled, struggling against my muscles that now protested every movement. It was like I had weights tied to each of my limbs. I tried reaching out to her and I fell, smacking my face on the dark abyss that surrounded me.

"Blu, I will… wait for…" Jewel called out, but then she hesitated again, and shook her head.

I pushed myself up with my wings, struggling with every fiber of my being to so desperately reach the love of my life, tears leaked from my eyes as I fought back the urgent need to cry. This was her, in all of her actuality. I could feel it… If only I could just reach her, I could talk to her… Hold her.

Another step forward I took, struggling with every successive inch of movement, pain parallel to being crushed under both emotional and physical stress.

"Blu… st- stop. Please stop," She said, tears in her eyes now penetrating to the surface.

_I have to keep pushing…_

"Blu, stop. Please."

_Jewel, just wait._

One last step I took before my energy depleted and I crashed to the floor. My whole body went limp and I couldn't do anything aside from laying there under the pressure of my own sorrow, crushing me uncontested. Out of sheer stress, a moment of weakness took over me as I succumbed and closed my eyes, writhing about what little I could, and upon reopening my eyes, my worst, deepest, darkest fear came true.

Jewel was gone, no longer in front of me. I couldn't hold back any longer, I turned my head to the side and buried it in my left wing, crying with huge heaves and sobs.

_My Jewel, gone… Gone forever. Gone never to return._

That's when I felt a force life me up, picking up my broken wings. Cupping my face and refocusing my line of sight. It was Jewel, she was holding me up.

Sorrow clouded her eyes and she shook her head again.

"Blu, it's me this time," she whispered. A slight dull pause rolled over both of us until she broke it with a kiss. It was the first kiss in a long time, so nostalgic that I was stunned for a whole minute once she broke from it.

The first kiss I've had in what seemed like a broken life time. I had almost forgotten the significance of the kiss, I had almost forgotten it's symbol.

"I love you Blu." Jewel whispered into my ear so tenderly, so sweet. Her body shook in small spasms, from what I figured was the relieving of anticipation that was built after so long, as if she had all this pent up love and an ever so important message she was ready to deliver to me.

"Blu, I love you. You will always be mine…" Jewel said, picking me up to my feet as if I weighed nothing more than a feather and breaking the chains of sorrow that weighed me down. I was able to stand up to my full height, but the second I was back on my two talons I fell on to her, giving her the biggest hug we had ever shared.

"Wh-where," I choked out, "Wh-wha..?" I stammered trying to ask a million questions at once.

Jewel just smiled, and chuckled past mounds of repressed sadness. She nodded her head and stared into my eyes, answering every single doubt and question I was trying to ask.

With no words but one, I whimpered out. A cry, of longing wanting to belong, of love and sincere yearning, "Jewel."

Jewel just shook her head and brought me closer in an embrace, hugging me tightly and whispering into my ear, "Do you remember, a long, long time ago…"

"Do you remember, during our last big dinner night together, with Linda and Tulio… Do you remember what you said?"

I merely shook my head softly, mesmerized by her golden voice of honey as she lathered my ear with warm words.

"You said, _'Blue eyes say, love me or I die... Brown eyes say'_,"

"Love me, or I kill you," I finished with a sad smile, still shaking my head softly.

"I could never survive without you Blu. I could never deal with what you are going through right now. You are strong, Blu."

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself and keep myself steady. Jewel continued, "I'm here now… To tell you, Blu…" Jewel's voice started cracking up, and I could sense it was tough for her to say what she was going to say next just by the pause and deep breath against my chest.

"I… Want you…" Jewel struggled out, "I want you… to move on, Blu." Upon finishing her painful sentence she placed upon me, she held me tighter and I couldn't help but freeze up.

_Move on? How, Jewel… How do I move… on?_

I pushed a small gap between us, just large enough to look into her eyes again. Grief, disbelief, sadness, pain, you name it, it all clouded my head and likely showed through my expression.

Jewel wiped tears from her eyes, "It's time to go, Blu. It's time to leave me behind. You have to find another and live a happy life, for the rest of your days. You can't…" Jewel paused and shook her head before continuing with more vigor, "You can't beat yourself up over me, because it pains me more than it does you. If you truly love me with the ferocity you express when you miss me, then leave me."

"I feel your pain, Blu… Please, move on and live a happy life,"

Jewel burst out into sobs and cried into my chest. I shortly followed with tears of my own.

_I don't understand… Jewel,_ I wanted to say. Hell I wanted to scream it, yet I was restrained by the very sorrow that plagued me. Somehow, I think she still got the message.

"I'll be waiting for you Blu, just live your heart out, and find another. Free your soul." Jewel's figure diffused into the darkness of my dream world with a small whisper of wind. I blacked out and was consumed by the abyss, losing all consciousness even in the dream world.

The last faint whisp that tickled my ears before I absolutely lost all capabilities of thought, and entered a deep sleep trance was three simple words:

"I will wait."

* * *

**Quite the long chapter, eh? Lemme know how it was.**


	9. The Next Step

**(-Blu-)**

I've never awakened more unsettled before in my entire life…

Immediately my body contorted and tensed up as all my muscles went rock hard. I felt blood rush to my head as my eyes shot wide open, peeling back my windows to the world.

However, I myself wasn't conscious. Even in such a ridiculously strained state, I was still oblivious as my mind numbingly resumed functioning. There was only one thing at the edge of oblivion clawing at me, and only one thing I was aware of:

Jewel's message.

I writhed awake, shaking my flexed body as I became aware of the world. I found myself leaking tears as they poured from my eyes relentlessly.

Sitting up, I found myself stunned in my nest for what seemed like a perpetual eternity before releasing the pent up breath that exploded from my lungs. Literally falling forward, I caught myself with my wings when my talons failed me.

_Why Jewel, why condemn me?_

I was betrayed, yet I knew she meant it out of love. She wanted me to get better… but…

Betrayed out of love, hell, that's one painful combo.

I would never come to terms with it; I love her too much to cast her away. I'd rather live a miserable life of suffering than to forget about her… no, I won't. I won't ever turn on her memory, her image, the love that we shared…

_I can't keep living like this,_ I thought as I wiped the grime and liquid out of my eyes. _Life is… too much to handle…_

My stomach growled in protest as it alerted me of my needs, but I didn't care. I was too stunned from my dream.

_There truly is nothing in this world for me anymore. If I have another dream like that, only death can even remedy this pain._

I literally felt lost, more lost than I have ever felt before. Without cause or action or even purpose in life, I found myself within a world that rejected me and my only solace, sleep, was now compromised.

Waves of grief and sorrow melted through me, washing past with renewed strength as they pushed me down, drowning me in their depths.

_There was no hope… there is no hope…_

My stomach ached again, this time bringing a burning pain that knocked around in my head.

_Well, guess I should eat… but for what purpose, I know not._

Taking a couple of paces I slowly mulled over to the entrance of my hollow.

_How ironic was this word in my current situation? Hollow describes my world perfectly now…_

The morning sun scalded my eyes as I shielded them with my wings until they adjusted. In the distance, however, I felt a strange looming presence. One that Alex always carried, yet it was so faint I paid no mind to it.

I couldn't stand the dull roar in my head, so with haste I spread my wings and lifted into the air. As soon as I did, however, a sizeable mass forcefully nailed into me from above, shoving me back into my hollow. I flew back rather fast and thankfully smacked my head on my nest.

Pain engulfed my chest, yet it wasn't anything major, just a stunning hit. However, it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust onto the black being in front of me.

I knew exactly who it was immediately, yet there was something odd and different.

"What was that for?" I asked through my barred beak.

"Sorry, but we need to talk," Alex said, gleaming directly at me with his piercing red eyes. "This ends now."

"Wh-what do you mean? What is this?" I asked standing up and rubbing my head to coerce the pain to settle.

"It stops here," he repeated without falter.

"What stops here?" I stammered out, quickly getting quite annoyed by his abrupt appearance and obscure statements.

"You and your obsession with what's lost," Alex said sternly.

I froze, the world froze, and more importantly, the dream came back to me. A full circle revelation occurred, as if everyone was trying to persuade me to do something and I was just now realizing it.

"What… did you just say?" I asked slowly, articulating my words very carefully.

"You and Jewel, it ends here. Right now. She's gone, Blu," Alex said in his trademark emotionless voice.

Yet, there was a faint difference in his tone, as if something seemed to be troubling him, but he kept it repressed to the point where I could not discern what it was.

"Why should I?" I asked with hostility building in my voice. "She was my life, a part of me… she was the essence in me. I can't throw that away, not now, not ever. I will take it to my grave."

Alex approached me threateningly and shook his head. "If only you knew, what you were doing… not only to yourself, but to _Jewel_," He whispered with anger in his voice.

I flinched at his words, not only because he was acting out of character and very intimidating, but because his message sent shivers down my spine.

_What I'm doing to myself… and Jewel? What does that mean? How am I hurting Jewel? She's…. dead, right?_

"What do you mean?" I said backing down to Alex.

"I mean, Jewel's spirit still lingers. She's here right now, Blu. She sees you and feels your pain and you're hurting her as well as yourself," Alex said unwaveringly.

He inched closer as if he was ready to strike me.

"She came to me in a vision."

"You're crazy!" I said in denial.

_Yet that dream… it was just a dream, right?_

Alex shoved me down with his wings, I could tell he was on the verge of exploding, yet I had no idea why.

_Why did this even concern him anyways? Why would Jewel bring him into it?_

"Don't deny it Blu, I'm sure she's reached out to you. When you woke up you looked like someone was about to murder you. It's time to move past this all, because you're the only one that can," Alex said as he pivoted on one talon and turned his back to me.

"I'm the only one that can?"

"If you knew how different you are, how lucky you are, or how advantageous your position is, you'd know exactly what I mean. You're relationship with Jewel, it was… something more. Only someone who had truly loved you would want you to live a better life without them. Besides, how selfish would it be if she wanted you to live miserably in her memory? Oh no, Blu. You fix your life, and you do it now."

I shook my head.

"I don't want to, Jewel was my love and that's something I can never spoil. No, not just because I can't, because I CHOOSE not to. I love her too much."

Alex lowered his head in anger again and whipped back around at me.

"You sound so ridiculous right now… how long did you two know each other? Honestly? How long?"

I hesitated as I tried to remember back and count the days.

"Didn't think so, and you expect a lasting, loving relationship to form in such a short notice? It's not that I doubt your connection, but let's think intelligently. You're a logical bird, are you not?"

I remained still, trying to sort my thoughts, yet I dejectedly disagreed with him questioning our relationship.

_It was so strong, because of the short time. We grew together as a pair, with no regrets, and found each other…_

"Anyways," Alex continued "you're a strong willed bird, Blu. Perhaps the strongest I've ever seen, yet… you remain so fixated on torturing yourself over what was out of your wings. You had no control over the situation, so why kill yourself? It's not Jewel condemning you, it's yourself."

Alex stopped for a second as he calmed himself down. I guess he realized he was on the verge of tearing the tree down out of the anger that was building up. It was still strange to see him in such a way, I still have no idea what could be provoking him.

His words rang chords in my mind, speaking truth and bringing new clarity and light. I still was too ignorant and stubborn to accept it as truth, however.

"You're the only bird I know that can get past loss like this," Alex started again, this time in a more mellow tone. "You have to make it, it's the only option you have. Besides, you're the last Spix's macaw in the world, how selfish would it be to end your gene pool? At least the chance at a hybrid species is something tangible."

"But, I'm not the only one…" I whispered to the side. Alex gave me a questioning glance and opened his beak to speak, but before he was able to, my stomach cut him off with an ostentatious growl.

"Heh," I chuckled, "I need to eat, follow me to the mango tree right down in the clearing?" I asked. He just nodded as we both walked to the edge of the hollow, spreading our wings and taking off into the sky.

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

I've never been more hurt.

I can't believe my best friend, Aley, is letting herself be exploited by some _male_. We were practically sisters, ever since her parents found me and raised me as their own. I never knew my true parents; I was too young to remember anything like that. I grew up with her all eleven years of my life, and I've never seen her act so strange.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but hate Sam. He's your typical tail-chasing male; he has no morals, for one thing, and he seems like the type of bird who would do anything to attain what he desires. I'm not one to usually judge, but he does have my best friend as a hostage…

It just seems like we've been falling apart since she felt like she needed a male in her life, which is so not who she is. She's such a loving bird, but as of late it's been different. She's been a shell of herself and I'm genuinely afraid for my friend.

The worst part is being alone.

Aley was always there for me whenever I had a problem, but now that she's distancing herself and branching out to the dating scene, I have no on I can relate my issues to. I've never felt so empty before… with no one to run to…

My little tidy hollow provided me with my privacy, though. In this one sanctuary, I was allowed to cry and not be disturbed, thankfully.

_Least I can hold on to my morals_, I thought as I released a pent up breath and sighed deeply. Tears leaked slowly from my eyes as I stared off into the distance, pondering the events of the past few days.

_Oh Aley, hurry up and drop that stupid Sam… he's changing you_, I thought.

_And what about that other male, Blu?_ I mused, trying to diverge from the topic of Aley.

Who was he really? A very hurt bird. I could feel his pain radiating off him, and I genuinely felt sorry for him. Strange how he was the only other Spix's macaw out there… we're a dead breed, I guess.

It's kind of sad that the Spix's macaw species is phasing out. This is perhaps the end of the line, and I couldn't help but to imagine the anguish Blu was feeling. He lost his loved one, something I can't (and hopefully never) relate to. I felt obligated to help him, being the only member of my species I had ever met, yet he flew away.

I can't blame him really… I mean, no one recovers from a tragedy like that. I guess I'm just thankful for his sacrifice that got rid of Cliff. Evil can't exist without good… right?

Ugh, I can't stop thinking back to Aley, though.

I'm just a frail soul in this brutal world… there are too many roadblocks to deal with on my own. I guess I'll have to wait and see what the near future holds.

Still, I miss my best friend.

* * *

**(.Jewel.) :O?**

It's not that I don't love him, or even that I don't care. I love Blu, I really do...

Going through each day being dead, attached to him as a ghost kills me. I want so bad to reach out and hug him, I just want him. I want him so bad, his companionship, his love... To be acknowledged.

It kills me inside, and I've cried almost non-stop since the day that I've died so tragically. Not because I was dead, but because I hurt him so drastically.

My hopeful wish is for Blu to move on. To forget about me and repair his life. He can't go on with this dreadful depression weighing him down, and I know he can get past it.

He's strong, but not strong enough to do it alone. That's why I reached out to Alex.

Seeing my beloved chat with Alex was painful, but in a way where it needed to be done because it was necessary for him to move on. It's kind of like getting shots or going to a doctor or ornithologist; It's necessary but you don't want it to happen so you just bar your beak and brave through it.

The final statement before the two departed for breakfast was where I was hoping the conversation would lead to. The mention of another lone Spix's macaw was the little hope I was wagering on. Not that I approve of whoever this other Spix's macaw is to replace me, but looking at it from a conservationist's standpoint, it only makes sense to me.

She seemed nice enough, yet as to her true character, I don't quite know yet. Time will tell, she might not even be the one for my poor little Blu, but at this point I just want to see my beloved smile again.

I followed the two down to the grove of mango trees and situated myself on a stray branch across from the two. It was quiet for the most part, but by the looks of things both of them were in deep thought. I couldn't help but wonder what they were thinking about, but I had enough respect as to not peer into their thoughts, a trait I acquired upon dying.

Tension built between the two as it looked like both had words to say and discuss. Blu seemed more conflicted, but then again Alex was always a master at repressing how he felt. I can't really blame him though, he's been through quite some traumatic events from what I've figured out by watching him.

It was Alex who broke the silence first.

"Another Spix's macaw, huh?"

"Yeah, but... she's a lot younger than me."

"How so?"

"I couldn't quite tell, she was probably matured, yet... I don't know,"

"What do you think of her?" Alex asked dropped the remnants of the fruit he was feasting on.

"Well, she was pretty nice. I was depressed from having a terrible relapse at the club when we met. For some reason, she felt genuinely concerned for me, but I left." Blu said as he recollected the events from that night.

"Why did you leave?" Alex asked as he turned to peer into Blu's soul with his trademark gaze.

"Well, uh... It just felt..." Blu started shakily trying to match words to his emotions,"I honestly don't know... I just didn't want to get attached."

Alex shook his head in disapproval.

"It wasn't just that, I left because I knew I'd get attached," Blu said to the side in defeat, "Something about her appealed to me. The short time we talked I felt different... I felt... _normal_."

Alex just shook his head slightly in understanding, "Why?" he asked under his guise of no emotion.

"Because she is different from everyone else. I could feel it in her. She understood me. It was almost like she was just like me... before I had lost Jewel, that is."

Alex sighed and closed his eyes in deep thought, "Look Blu, I'm going to give you some time to think about this. Keep your options open, however. Promise me one last thing, too." upon finishing Alex opened his eyes again, placing his gaze upon Blu again, this time more sternly.

"What is it?" Blu asked mellowly.

"Promise me you'll move on."

"I'll try my best."

* * *

It isn't so much that I want Blu to replace me. For the most part I just want him to be happy. Since I'm definitely not coming back, this is the only way.

The one thing that death did give me was my freedom. Yet it was something I've overlooked as it became obvious that Blu meant more to me than that. I devoted my life to him after my mistake, that was the point I realized truly how much he meant to me.

Freedom was something I had always treasured and yearned for. Heh, I guess I finally got my wish, but at what cost?

I can't really explain how I feel now as I watch Alex fly off in the distance, leaving poor Blu by himself on the branch of a mango tree. Blu took a few deep sighs as he sat there, and for a while I watched him patiently. I guess he was pondering everything that had unfolded and the first thing he did when he finally stirred was look to the sky.

"Jewel, if you can hear me," he said with a heavy heart. It was obvious whatever message he was sending out pained him, yet I couldn't help but listen obediently.

"If you can hear me... I'll do as you wish and repair my life, but I shall _never _let you go. _I love you_."

My heart just about melted as the mixed emotions, that of which are indescribable, exploded through me. I died again, a second time, as I watched Blu take to the skies back home. I must have sat there for about five minutes until I found myself again, beak and eyes wide open from shock.

I sat perplexed with a little clarity. Sad with a little happiness. Longing while being a little satisfied. Full of grief while at ease. So many mixed things compounded on top of my emotions that were both in chaos and turmoil, and serenity and peace. It must have been forever for me to work out everything in my mind, but at the end I deemed that I won. My goal was accomplished and Blu was finally on the road to recovery.

The best way I can describe the situation was; I'm glad that he's on the road to get better, but I'm also sad that I'm not there with him. I'd be more at ease if getting rid of my emotional burden wasn't a step to recovery, but I was at ease none-the-less.

Blu had finally made his mind that he'd try life again. He decided that maybe, just maybe, there was hope, and in that I believe attracts success and makes hope something more. A possibility, perhaps, yet he still has a chance so hope there is indeed.

I smiled at the end, waving good bye one last time to my ex-mate.

"I love you too, Blu," I said with a heavy yet joyful heart as I spread my wings and took to the sky.

I'll let Blu progress on his own as anything here on out is out of my hands. I put the ball in motion and now all I can do was wait. I guess you could say I was relieved that things were looking like they were going to get better, and that I had done my job. But there is always that small chance that maybe things won't work out.

Either way, I'll leave Blu to decide his own fate now. It's about time I freed my _own_ soul.

Finally... I'll enjoy the freedom I've always dreamed about. Soaring high above the clouds without a care in the world. _All by myself._

* * *

**O_o I really liked the end there.**

**Please guys, leave a review! Let me know how things are going and what you're hoping is going to happen! 'Till next time.**


	10. A Small Release

**And here we go, another chapter. You guys ready? Well what are you waiting for? Enjoy:**

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

It was midafternoon when Aley decided to pay me a visit. I wasn't particularly cheerful with her, but I sure was grateful she finally decided to check up on me after all the escapades she took with her new boyfriend and all. I still can't say I like or even understand their relationship; They're still young and full of ignorance, but aren't we all?

She was alone this time, and I decided it would be best to hold my tongue. I didn't want any more drama with her of the type that bloomed when Sam was around. It was kind of peculiar he hadn't tagged along, but the second she landed in my hollow, I knew she was just as happy as ever.

"Anna!" Aley exclaimed the instant her claws touched down. Joy of a syrupy nature was clinging to her face, and I could tell she was about to unload a wondrous message. I can't say it felt good to see her; I was just relieved she wasn't with that Sam or any of his goons.

"Hey, Aley," I replied nonchalantly. I tried my best to act normal, but I was still disappointed in her. I guess I can't really control her life or the decisions she makes, but that doesn't mean I must approve of them. Still, she was like a sister to me, and I had to support her, if nothing else, and maintain stable relations with her.

"Oh my gosh, Anna! You won't believe what Sam just told me!"

My mood dropped considerably upon the mention of his name. I couldn't help but grimace a bit on the inside, but I made a full effort to block any irritation from rising to the surface. It wasn't like me to blatantly disrespect her, after all.

"What? What did he say?" I asked, wondering what could possibly bring such enlightenment to my best friend.

Did the two find another club? Perhaps he said he liked her eyes or went on about how pretty she was, you know, your typical male compliments. Either way, I tried to ignore in the back of my mind any assumptions about their bond. But something was telling me my worst fears were moments away from coming true.

"He said he wanted to take it to the next level," Aley squawked as calmly as she possibly could, holding back her bubbling anticipation. If her words hadn't struck me in a way that brought doubt, shame, and resentment, maybe I would have noticed her bouncing up and down in excitement.

Maybe it was my face or the fact that my beak dropped open, but something about the silence and hesitation of my answer caused Aley to don a questioning stare.

"Well?" she asked, "what do you think?"

My mind was still trying to grasp the full meaning of "to the next step" but I had a good feeling of what it actually meant… and it didn't lift my spirits one bit.

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked, shaking my head in bewilderment. _Please don't say what I think you're going to say,_ I thought to myself.

"Well…" Aley said, looking up as she put together her thoughts.

A few seconds passed as she tapped her talon on the wooden floor of the hollow, contemplating my possible reactions. I had option but to steel myself and accept whatever she was going to throw at me.

And so I donned a fake expression of complacency for my friend in an effort to please her.

"Well…" Aley repeated, stretching the word out longer than necessary before continuing, "me and Sam have been talking a lot, and I think we've pretty much decided that we're going to become mates."

Aley's face contorted into a nervous smile as if she was hoping for a positive response. So I gave her one.

"That's fantastic," I stated in a cheerful tone, but not too cheerful so as to avoid overdoing it. "I can't believe it. Such short time you've known each other and you're already going to make the ultimate commitment."

As soon as my approval reached her ears, a huge brimming grin flooded her face, showing obvious satisfaction in my reaction.

"Thanks, Anna. Thanks for accepting him."

"But," I said in a more serious tone, "are you so sure you're ready to make this step? I mean, becoming mates is no laughing matter. With that comes great responsibility and sacrifice, as it's no longer about you. It's about taking care of the children you might have, and pleasing Sam with your words and actions."

Aley's face smoothed out to a moderate smile.

"It's okay, Annabelle. As long as I have faithful friends like you supporting me and my love of Samuel, nothing bad could possibly happen."

She brushed my responsibility speech off like a bothersome fly and went on describing how perfect her Samuel was. I, for the most part, zoned out due to my mind racing in a million directions.

I kept trying to put it all into perspective, and either way I looked at it, it just didn't seem like a good idea or even feasibly possible, for that matter. The two go out on a first date literally the day they meet, and "fool around" after ditching me.

What exactly they did I may never know.

Then they spend the next two days together, and suddenly they see each other as mating material? It just didn't sound like a proper way to handle things, and I felt like I was losing my grip on my friendship more and more.

I couldn't pretend forever, and the more and more Aley talked and I thought about it, the more I felt deeply saddened by it and disappointed.

I was losing my best friend Aley, a sister to me, all because of a stupid male. Suddenly the world felt like it was closing in on me, and I nearly had an anxiety attack before Aley finished her stories and bid me farewell.

It wasn't until after she was gone that I realized the true depth of the toll it took on me. I wasn't much of a liar, as it was against my nature, and the blunt act of falsehood I put on shook me to the core.

It took me almost a full hour to come to terms with it, and even then I failed to embrace it. Why couldn't she realize it was so reckless to dive beak-first into a relationship without thoroughly evaluating your partner?

I know we all only have one shot at life, hence the "YOLO" term, but if anything, that was precisely why someone, namely Aley, should approach it with caution, rather than haste. You can't zoom down the road of life, ignoring the speed bumps along the way, and expect everything turn out fairy-tale perfect.

And another point that didn't make sense to me was the whole dating scene itself. It seemed she was trying to work her way around the threat of being let down, and skipping the trial and error of actually finding a compatible mate.

Yet if this deepening fling of theirs managed to work out, would it change my perspective and my attitude?

Personally, I shied away from soul-searching because the possibility of failure and rejection scared me. But in the end, was her method more effective? Or even practical at that?

Finding the perfect someone and trial and error were mutually inclusive, but Aley saw them as mutually exclusive.

Maybe this was a love-at-first-sight situation, however shaky it may be. Wasn't love-at-first-sight what led Blu to fall for Jewel and, in a sense, set their destiny to become lovers in stone right from the very beginning? Maybe I am looking at it the wrong way, and maybe I am just plain wrong.

I sure hope I am.

I just don't know what to think anymore. I guess I respect the fact that she's spinning head-over-tail for him. What's disheartening is that she is rushing her life. It hurts, because I care about her well-being, I really do.

I think I need to take my mind off this issue… when was the last time I relaxed and had a bath?

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

Move on? How could I, honestly?

I'll try to respect Jewel's wishes, however skeptical I am of them. But in any case, such a thing was easier said than done. Feelings for someone that you loved just don't flutter away the moment you will them to. The thing is, I didn't just love Jewel. I loved her more than me, more than life itself even.

She was persuading me to attempt the impossible, and it scared me to be completely honest.

Upon Alex leaving me to myself, I departed to the hollow. No, not just any hollow, but The Hollow, the one that I had picked out for Jewel and me especially. It was where our future would have unfolded, but now it's a distant whisper of a memory, and the only place I could truly pay my respects to what should have been.

It was the only place I could go to fully appreciate what she meant to me, mainly because this perfect hollow in particular was a symbol of the perfect life that never happened. The location by the waterfall was monumentally beautiful, and could only belong to the queen of the jungle, my Jewel.

One can't just simply swing into another relationship, and I didn't plan to, quite frankly. I don't think I could bring myself to instantly love another, not like I loved Jewel. I don't think I will ever find love again.

I mean, how lucky was I to capture such a beautiful bird like Jewel? Such a thing couldn't happen twice in one life time.

Or could it?

The only bird that I've ever met that came anywhere close to Jewel's beauty was that other bird… Annabelle, was it? It was a different strain of beauty though, cute and innocent. She seemed so good-natured, but could I really find myself loving her as I did Jewel?

No, of course not. She couldn't be the one.

She has her whole life ahead of her, and I couldn't take that away from such a sweet girl. The kindness she showed me reinforces that fact. Yet in that short time, she sure struck something within me.

I got this weird feeling talking to her, however brief it was. It was like she really meant every word, and that she felt it was her duty to help me. I can't allow myself to drag her down into my personal hell.

So why do I keep thinking about her?

I clutched the small pebble I placed inside the hollow ages ago with my right talon. What promise it symbolized and the purpose it had served were never fulfilled, sadly. I closed my eyes and took one last deep breath before surveying the inside of the perfect hollow one last time.

The amazing view of the roaring waterfall off in the distance served as a soothing white noise to cleanse my thoughts, and with one last breath, I kicked the small pebble out and took off to the small basin around the waterfall.

The roar of the crashing water intensified the closer I flew to it, and upon landing, it was hard to maintain a constant flow of thought through the noise. The water bubbled around the impact zone of the waterfall, then mellowed out to the outside edges until it became supremely calm.

I gazed into the glasslike area of the water, pondering what I might find within its depths. The sun beamed enough light down through the canopy for me to espy clearly what I was looking at. I met my somber reflection with ease, taking in every feature and feather.

My unkempt plumage distorted my appearance, but that wasn't the part that threw me for a loop. Something strange happened to me in the time that I lost Jewel, for in this reflection, I couldn't quite recognize myself.

It had been a while since I last saw myself, but that was back when I had a grasp of who I was. This new reflection and image invoked dread in me; it was rougher, and an aura of uncertainty and sorrow clouded my features. I couldn't quite place it exactly, but I was different.

And I hated it.

_Who have I become?_ I asked myself as I stared into the depths of the water.

The longer I held my own gaze, the more I felt disconnected from who I used to be. Who am I? Without Jewel, who have I become? What was Jewel to me exactly?

She was my love, my purpose, my everything. Without purpose and our dreams and desires, what are we but savages? What motives for living or existing did I have? Without purpose or direction there was nothing. No reason for anything, not even an excuse to tangibly exist and breath.

I was a part of that decrepit club, and I realized this in my reflection. I was scum and trash, only placing burdens on the shoulders of people around me. Was the selfish role that everyone played inherent to being alive and tangibly thriving? Or was there some way to better that, to justify or put reason and cause behind living other than one's own selfish motives.

What purpose could I serve in this life now, and how can I make things better for both myself and others?

I don't even know where I am anymore. Angrily I splashed the water and jumped in, decisively ruining the placid pond. I had become so worked up in my thoughts that I wanted to clear my head.

I began preening my feathers in the water, splashing around and thoroughly cleaning myself. It felt like ages since I had last done this, and my coat was cloaked in grime. It disgusted me to no end, picking out the massive number of clumps of dirt, and I worked a solid five minutes on just my left wing alone. When I did complete a spot, it contrasted greatly from the other areas of my body, which remained in disarray.

I must have worked diligently, as I failed to realize that a set of eyes had fallen upon me. I had become so engrossed in my monotonous work that my surroundings became a dull haze that blended together and received no recognition or acknowledgement from me. Needless to say, I almost had a heart attack right on the spot when I heard my own name.

"Blu?"a curious voice asked among the roar of the waterfall.

I immediately shot my head up and surveyed my surroundings, but to no avail.

"Wha-who's there?" I questioned, swiveling my head side to side and trying to locate the source of the faintly familiar voice

"Up above you, silly!"

I turned my head up to catch a flash of color flapping slightly above and in front of me. My eyes quickly adjusted and deciphered the pure azure coat, and immediately I knew exactly who it was.

"Annabelle?" I asked, squinting.

"Yeah, it's me. Fancy meeting you here, huh," she said as she tilted her head and glided down to the other side of the pool, landing in the shallows.

I have no idea what's so different about these jungle birds in terms of privacy, but when I'm taking a bath, I want to be left alone. Jewel, on the other hand, didn't find it weird when she took a bath with me. I guess such a thing was common in the jungle, but doing that in the vicinity of Annabelle unsettled me greatly, and I nearly left.

Yet something compelled me to stay. Strange how she showed up here, and for what reason? Was she here to bathe as well?

In my delusional thinking, I guess I zoned out and had not realized I was staring right at her. After some time, she bore into me with a timid, embarrassed expression.

"Um, Blu? You're kind of staring at me."

"Oh, sorry. I'm sorry…" I said with a nervous smile. She smiled slightly, but then turned her back to me and began to preen herself. I just shook my head and turned away too.

_That was kind of weird_, I thought before returning to my work.

Silence once again flooded over me, well, as much silence as you can have with a roaring waterfall a short ways off from you, but my mind stayed on Annabelle. She seemed like such a nice bird, should I try to talk to her?

Jewel's and Alex's separate messages replayed over in my head, but I knew I couldn't try to build a relationship with Annabelle. Yet the strange thing is, I felt compelled to at least communicate, so I hastened my work.

Quickly, I ran through my coat at a hurried pace, making sure I got most, if not all, of the dirt and grime out of my coat. My mind was racing the entire time trying to think of every reason, situation, and possible outcome that could happen.

Sad thing is, there was no logical reason and any situation that could happen was beyond my comprehension. The uncertainty in itself was enough to drive me away, but I steeled myself and upon finishing my bath, I decidedly sailed over to Annabelle.

I had no idea what I was doing.

But my speculation led me to believe that I had nothing to lose. Therefore, the only consequence for failure was embarrassment, which in itself means nothing if you don't have any pride. Plus, I wasn't trying to hook up with Annabelle. The only thing I remotely wanted to be seen as was a friend.

Rather unceremoniously, I landed a foot or so in front of Annabelle with a rather large splash. In my haste I had failed to prepare anything to say, so what literally escaped my beak shamed me more than I thought possible.

"Hey Annabelle, I-"

I stopped with my beak wide open.

Her eyes gave way to the fact that she was quite surprised by my abrupt entrance, and I must have looked like the biggest idiot anyone has ever seen dropping in like that. I just about died on the spot between her confused and surprised face and my lack of words.

A full five seconds must have passed before I realized I was in a stunned state.

"Yes, Blu?" She didn't seem annoyed or mad or any type of negative emotion, just surprised.

_Come on Blu,_ I thought, _just drop the silly act and think of something real to say!_

"Oh, sorry… I um, I just wanted to say thank you."

"Thank you for what?" Annabelle asked innocently.

"For the other night," I concluded. "Something about what you said helped me."

I averted my eyes down to the water, awaiting her response.

_Any sane girl would just turn tail and take off now, _I thought.

"Oh, it was no problem," Annabelle replied in a normal tone.

"But um, Blu?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "This isn't really the place to talk. I mean… I'm kind of taking a bath."

"Oh!" I shouted. "I'll leave you be, then. But would it be okay if we, I don't know, had a meal together? Just for the heck of it?" I questioned as purely and meekly as possible.

Annabelle looked me up and down for a few seconds, studying me as if she was trying to count my feathers. She hesitated and averted her eyes. I almost melted away into water like the witch from the Wizard of Oz.

Such was the anticipation of waiting for her answer. I couldn't help but think I epically screwed up in asking her out to dinner, I surely didn't want her to think I was hitting on her.

Again, for the third time, I almost took to the sky on a one-way trip to nowhere. Yet, before I could perform such an action, she answered.

"Sure."

Simple and serene, such an answer sent my heart floating. It was oh-so strange, something I didn't intend to happen or fully understand. The only thing I knew was that I was happy.

"Just uh, let me finish cleaning up first," Annabelle queried petulantly.

"Oh, sure, uh… I'll just get, out of your feathers then."

She flashed me one last silly look before I took off and headed for a nearby tree.

It should be just enough time for me to pick out the last remaining bits of dirt I overlooked, and as I worked, my mind went back over the events that had recently occurred. I slapped myself a few times and plucked a few feathers out, punishing myself for my stupidity in how I approached the situation.

As Annabelle flew up, I couldn't understand for the life of me why I was behaving in such a childish manner.

Just a few moments before she arrived, I was in a miserable state of depression. And yet, Annabelle lifted it and cast it away into the distance like a heavy weight. Could it be that I was infatuated with her? The thought made me shiver internally. The only thing I wanted was to be her friend. I wanted a friend to help me and take my mind off my past.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

"Hey, Blu," Annabelle called up bashfully as she ascended to where I was in the tree.

"Hey," I replied when she landed next to me. "So, what would you like to eat tonight?"

"Hm," Annabelle pondered as she averted her eyes, thinking deeply. One thing was for sure as I waited for her decision; she sure looked beautiful after that quick bath. Not that she looked bad or anything before, but the new resplendent sheen in her coat gave her a new vivacious appeal to her.

"I think I want… _Mangoes_," She said returning back to me with a wide, brimming smile on her face. "Only of course, if you want," she added as if asking my permission.

_Always with the mangoes, huh, _I remarked to myself, _Jewel always wanted mangoes. That was her favorite, after all._

"Sure, mangoes it is," I replied back with a half chuckle.

"Sweet, and maybe some grapes afterwards!" She exclaimed, I just smiled and nodded my head before scanning around for the nearest mango tree.

_Always with the mangoes, _I repeated. It only took me a few seconds to spot a mango tree as fruit trees were abundant around the basin of the water fall. After locating one with a particular luscious patch of fruits, I pointed with my wing to indicate which one would be the best to dine on.

"Let's try that tree. It's fruits look just right." I shrugged. Anna just nodded in acknowledgement as an indicator for me to lead the way. I quickly opened my wings and hopped up into the air, gliding the short distance to tree in question.

Upon landing it was clear that I was right in my deduction, and the fruit laden tree withheld perhaps the best fruits in the slew of trees in the area. The branch upon which I had landed had a few lingering fruits nearby. Deftly, I snatched a one juicy mango in particular and handed it over to Annabelle who landed next to me a few seconds after my own arrival.

"Thank you," Annabelle said as I handed her the fruit. She eyed the orange and red sphere before diving in beak first. The second her beak tore open the mango the rich vibrant scent of mangoes filled the air, peaking my hunger as I reached for a fruit of my own.

I managed to grab my own perfectly ripe fruit and began to dine myself. We sat in a peaceful, serene silence as we satisfied our hunger. The dull white noise roar of the waterfall was the only audible thing and it also served as beautiful scenery as we gazed into the constant flow of water, eating the intensely sweet fruit whose aroma filled the air.

It was a thing of beauty really, and a moment like this could last a life time without a care in the world. I really lost myself, sitting next to a beautiful bird, watching a cloud of mist form around a swirling crash of water. It was all such a contrast of my earlier feelings, and I reflected back how I felt earlier.

It was moments like these, that I felt my life found stability in, for I may no longer have or even require a mate, perhaps life wasn't all just about that.

Perhaps there was something to be taken from nature, a lesson maybe. And the companionship, that of which was still premature, was greatly needed. Thankfully there wasn't a single stressful thought in my mind; I had pushed all of those aside to enjoy a near perfect moment.

The only possible thing that could have made my experience better was if it was shared with my love, Jewel, but I tried to keep my mind off what could have been because 'could have been' also implies 'never will be'.

* * *

**(~Annabelle~**)

Having dinner with Blu was a marvelous idea. The succulent mangos we ate were absolutely amazing and the view we shared was nothing short of breath taking.

All that aside, however, I couldn't help but wonder why he asked me to dinner. Being the cautious bird that I am, the possibility of him trying to take advantage of me was present in my mind, but he didn't seem like that type of bird. On top of that I almost felt compelled to sit with him, after all that he has been through and all.

While I will admit that we did meet under somewhat embarrassing circumstances, I could tell that he was for the most part harmless and genuine. How could I turn him down? We are the last two Spix's macaws, after all. So in essence he was kind of like family, in a weird way I guess.

I do, however, see what Jewel must have saw in him. In that brief moment before he asked me to dinner he did make a fool out of himself, but all in good fun. He sort of had that goofy appeal, yet I can still feel layers of pain and torment just below the surface.

It felt kind of like he had repressed something down for a long time and just spontaneously decided to let loose. It was rather funny, I might say myself.

But again, all that aside, there was something I really wanted to ask him as we sat enjoying our meal. It clawed at my mind and I couldn't help but steal a few glimpses at him every now and again as if I were trying to find my answer in his visage.

I waited and repressed my question, though. I wanted to wait until we both had finished eating before we started talking.

The last few bits of fruit were as juicy as the first as I plopped them in my beak and munched away. After finishing my meal I turned and watched Blu finish up the last of his, who only had one last bite himself.

It was only after he finished himself that he noticed me staring at him. He just gave me a nervous smile as he returned my stare.

"So, Blu," I started slowly, trying to organize my thoughts completely, "How have you been? I mean in the past few months since… yeah."

I knew my question was rather rude and probably lashed open painful scars, but I needed to make sure everything was alright with him. He averted his eyes once my question hit him. His face laden with pain, he just shook his head.

"I mean, is everything okay? Blu?" I asked trying to reach out with my heart.

"No, I haven't been okay… it's been hell." He replied back with hurt in his voice. The sad, pained expression on his face made me slap myself internally for asking such a blatantly hurtful question. Of course he's been having trouble, who wouldn't after losing someone so dear?

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for you loss and I'm sorry for making you remember," I asked pitifully ashamed of myself. I had to look away, there was no way I could look at him, he probably hated me now.

"Don't be," He replied back in a cracking voice. I forced myself to meet his eyes again and it became obvious he was on the brink of crying as tears filled his eyes. "Her death… is a fact I can't erase or reverse. It's something… I have to cope with," He said in a wavy voice before shaking the tears our of his eyes. "I can't say that I'm happy, or will ever truly be happy…"

Blu turned his head and looked at his talons, struggling to fight back tears. In that moment it felt like my heart was ripping open in sympathy and what I did next was partly out of instinct and self-preservation. With both wings I reached out and hugged Blu. My eyes began to leak tears of their own, but I hid my face from him when I hugged him in an embrace.

Blu neither rejected or accepted it, standing still in place. Yet, I could tell there was a sense of gratefulness in the what he said next.

"Jewel, she was… she was the perfect bird… you know? We found ourselves… in each other… I really do miss her." Blu croaked in a broken and sad voice as he place his right wing on my back. His breathing became labored as it was obvious he started crying to himself.

I had to give myself a few seconds before I was able to compose myself to say something, but when I finally brought myself up to the task no words came. I was at a lost and I just wanted to cry for him, so I said the only thing someone with no control over a situation could.

"If you need anything Blu…" I said behind tears, "I'll be here for you."

I pulled away and looked at him. We were both crying at this point, but a faint smile permeated on Blu's beak.

"Thank you," he said in a faint whisper. It wasn't much a response, but in those two words volumes could be said. He shook his head and wiped the tears out of his eyes smiling all the while.

"No seriously," he started again, "Thank you… This may sound weird… but something about talking with you and being around you… it takes my mind off of it… helps me remember who I used to be." Blu closed his eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, "Thank you,"

"Any time," I whispered jokingly. I was blown away by his words and the impact he said I made. Was I really that special? He didn't even know me really.

The sun had long began its descent and had finally reached he horizon. Before long night would take it's reign over the world and I'd need to retreat to my hollow. Something inside me didn't want to leave this poor, broken bird, but inevitably I couldn't stay out here all night.

"Well," I said breaking the silence, "I think it's about time I head home, big guy."

Blu frowned, but nodded in agreement. "I guess I'll see you around, then." He said wiping the newly formed tears out of his eyes again.

"Yeah, stay strong, Blu," I said as I turned around opened up my wings and prepared to take off.

"Um, Anna?" I heard Blu whisper from behind.

"Yes Blu?" I asked looking at him again. He had a bashful look on his face and he had his eyes locked on his talons.

"Um, do you think we could do this again tomorrow?" He asked me in a small voice.

I merely smiled, "Sure Blu," I said patting him on the back with my outstretched wing, "Same spot for lunch. How does that sound?"

Blu flashed a bright smile at me, "Sounds perfect."

I lifted off into the air and bid him farewell one last time before I turned and oriented myself in the direction of my hollow. I flapped two powerful strokes and began my journey home. Before I had gotten too far I heard a faint 'thank you' come from behind, and my heart nearly melted.

Even though it was probably one of the weirdest things that has ever happened randomly to me, I felt like I had done a good deed even though I wasn't sure what it was exactly. As long as Blu enjoyed my company and found refugee from his past, how could I deny him that? It was the least I could do for a bird that had lost everything and had his life ruined; especially because he was the only other member of the species besides me.

That night I dreamed a beautiful dream where I saw Blu. He was happy and smiling, flying free and high in the sky. I watched him from below in my hollow. Part of me was sad for a reason as I was crying, but another part was happy. The true reason I felt these emotions eluded me, but happiness was definitely more prominent. In the vast blue sky among the clouds Blu soared and in the midst of his journey he found one other blue bird. He met Jewel, and in this dream the two of them soared off into the horizon.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review, guys. Especially if you enjoyed reading the story up until this point. I truly appreciate it. Thank you.**


	11. Reminiscence

**Eh, delays. Been busy, sick, excuses, excuses...**

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

The next day I awoke with tears in my eyes. It was strange though, as I was well-rested and clear-headed too.

The tears weren't sad ones, but rather borne from a strange mix of happiness and reassurance, as if everything was going to work out in the end.

Yet, I couldn't really wrap my head around what was being reassured exactly.

The dream I had the night before remained at the forefront of my mind. I found peace and completeness.

In a way, it felt like such a thing had actually happened, or would possibly happen, but the sad fact of reality was that it wouldn't. Still, I entertained the thought of seeing Blu happy again with Jewel, though such a thing would never come into fruition in actuality.

Throughout the morning, I refreshed and relieved myself as well as snacked on a light breakfast. With plenty of time to kill, I sat snugly in my hollow, my mind racing.

Aley came to my attention, and I had failed thus far to fully wrap my head around her situation. It had only been a few days since she and Sam had met, and here they were, hooking up and deciding to take things to the ultimate level.

No matter how much they might like – or even love – each other, was such an act even smart in any regard? What if, down the line, things didn't work out and my dear old friend ended up pregnant or something terrible?

Being a single parent in the jungle was no easy task and I just couldn't see the wild, party girl that Aley was filling that role. She didn't even know the first thing about raising chicks. I don't think she'd survive if such a horrible future was wrought upon her.

And what of Sam? The few times I've seen him he was a smooth talker, a leader of sorts. Yet something about him was unnerving to me.

He just seems like the sort of bird that would do anything to get what he wants… and if he wanted Aley, he sure as heck got her. She was putty in his wings, and he didn't even have to try.

It's really easy to sit back and think about other people's problems critically, especially when they don't directly affect you or you disagree with their decisions.

You can see the flaws and risks people take, and see the consequences of their choices if you observe everything from a different angle. However, the same can't be said about things regarding yourself…

My mind wandered from Aley and Sam to me. What did I need to do to find that perfect someone? I was still young, but should I really wait until I'm older? If so, what age?

Not only that, but there are so few males out there that are genuinely kind-hearted and nice. Sam is obviously part of the morally-screwed-up club.

Finding that perfect someone comes at the expense of time wasted on trial and error and the risk of never achieving your goal… so should I simply disregard the boundaries I've set for myself in pursuit of finding a decent match?

Again I have to pause and ask, "Am I the one whose looking at this wrong? Are Aley and Sam approaching the situation correctly and finding love early, no matter what possibilities the future might hold?"

I don't know the answer.

The selfish, unjust males comprise the majority of the macaws in this jungle… but Blu is one of the rare exceptions. He seems pretty nice and well-meaning. I just feel so sorry for him and his loss.

I have to admit though, Jewel was one lucky bird. Blu is just so soft-hearted and sweet. Makes me wonder why the worst of things happen to the most deserving of people? What kind of cruel world would place such a tumultuous fate on someone who had it all?

I guess I will never truly understand how fate works.

But what of the possibility of Blu and I as a couple? No… it would never work. How selfish am I to even think that?

Blu needs support and a shoulder to lean on in this troubling time; that's the only purpose I could possibly serve. I owe it to him as the only other surviving member of his species. I could never fill the void left behind as a result of Jewel's… passing.

Maybe birds like me are meant to be alone.

Maybe the good die in silence, unwanted and cold, while the corrupted ones sinfully plunder whatever they can from others in a constant circle of lust and retribution. Perhaps everything comes with a cost, and if you don't pay your share, you don't achieve anything either. Maybe it's best that way though.

My mind floated off again, and before I knew it, I was on my way to see Blu for lunch. The sun was exceptionally strong today, but I didn't mind.

It added an eccentric vibe to the jungle and made flying through the air all the more rewarding as the wind skimmed through my feathers, cooling me down and carrying me to my destination.

It wasn't long before the dull roar of the waterfall could be heard off in the distance, and within the minute I could make it out.

Upon reaching it, the spray of the water added to the already intense humidity, which spawned a thin coat of water on my feathers. Deftly I landed on a branch of the tree we sat in on the previous day, waiting for Blu to show up.

I didn't idle long before I heard Blu call my name. He landed in his almost clumsy way next to me and gave me a warm greeting.

"Afternoon, Annabelle," Blu said with a bright smile on his face. I just smiled at him in a silly way, sort of a "nice to see you too" mixed with a "you don't have to be so friendly" look.

Blu just chuckled lightly.

"How are you?" he asked as he reached for a mango dangling right above him.

"I'm good, how about yourself?" I asked as I watched him struggle.

He almost fell forwards, but before he lost his balance, he managed to snag the fruit.

"Better," he admitted as he fixed his talons on the branch below us, reaffirming his stance. "Thank you for that by the way, I needed your encouragement."

"Yeah, no problem," I said, stretching my wings back. A slight breeze swept passed me as I stared off in the distance. My mind left me again as I began thinking of how Jewel might have been as a living bird and how much she must have meant to Blu.

My melancholy daydream was stifled abruptly by Blu who cleared his throat.

"Ehm, Annabelle?" he asked innocently as he motioned towards his fruit. "Are you going to eat too?"

"Oh sorry, you go right ahead," I said with a shrug, "I'll grab one here in a little bit."

Blu frowned, but he shrugged it off too.

"Suit yourself," he said as he dug his beak into the mango.

A peaceful silence materialized between us again, and my eyes drifted to the sky above, studying the beautiful baby blue color that I shared with it. My coat itself was lighter though, softer than that of most birds, anyways.

Yet something else occupied my mind other than the sky as I pictured two blue birds flying through the air like in my dream. I must have zoned out, because before I knew it, I was staring at Blu in a daze, who just shot me a goofily nervous smile.

I shook my head quickly to regain control over myself, I deciding not to put off my meal any longer. I quickly scanned my surroundings and selected a mango behind me, just barely within reach.

"Alright," I started, "guess I'm going to eat too," I remarked as I reached out slowly to the fruit, extending my whole body outwards in front of me.

Blu watched as my wings met the precariously placed mango, and I began to pull back towards the branch. I must have looked silly because Blu giggled a bit as I yanked on the fruit, but it wouldn't come free.

"Need help?" he said in a playful tone.

"No, I got it."

I pulled again, this time with my full body weight, leaning back. With a small snap, I did manage to break the fruit free of the branch above. The only problem was that the sudden recoil sent me backwards.

My feet left the branch, and as expected, gravity took over. The last thing I saw was Blu's eyes open wide, and then I fell.

The ground raced upwards to meet me, an unforgiving plane of dirt that comprised the earth and spawned vegetation. There was nothing in between me and that very ground but my feathers, which would provide no cushion due to how fast I was dropping. I flailed my wings trying to regain control in the air, but to no avail.

A split second before I hit the ground I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the inevitable impact… only I never did impact the unyielding surface.

Weirdly enough, I felt a force tug at my right talon, jarring me and causing pain to shoot up my leg, but also saving me from the fall.

Three seconds I counted off mentally, and I still could feel myself breathing and hear my thoughts. Slowly, I opened my eyes only to see Blu staring down at me, flapping his wings strongly to keep us airborne.

Blu lifted me back up the branch that we were perched on before and set me down carefully. I took me a full minute to catch my breath and understand my predicament, but after I understood the full picture, I began laughing almost hysterically.

"Wow… Blu," I said shaking my head. "You saved me/"

Blu, himself, was worked up too, and he simply shrugged as he settled himself down.

"I had to, you would have gotten hurt."

"Thanks, Blu. I owe you one," I said. "I'm glad you reacted as fast as you did!"

"Don't mention it," he said, now laughing with me. "It was instinctive, I guess."

"Wow," I repeated breathlessly as I looked to the ground below. That would have been a nasty fall, and I was sure I wouldn't have gotten away without some not-too-pretty injuries. Thankfully I could rely on him to save my life in such situations.

That didn't mean I wanted to be involved in anymore in the near future.

We continued with our lunch, this time Blu picking a fruit for me, and I plopped my beak into a juicy mango. While we ate, Blu shared with me the story of how he and Jewel met.

He surprisingly remained in control of his emotions, but every now and again he stopped short to fight off tears. I listened intently through it all and got a good picture of who Jewel was, as well as the things the couple shared. On the parts Blu had trouble telling, I patted him on the back comfortingly, trying to help him along.

"So you jumped out of the plane and you couldn't fly?" I asked, awestruck. "What could have possessed you to do that?"

"Love," he simply replied. "I loved her, and I couldn't let go of her… we were so close, I guess, that I decided that if she was going to die in that moment, I'd die with her." Blu stopped again, valiantly holding back the tears that started to swell up in his eyes.

"What happened then?" I asked as I patted his back, softly urging him to continue his story.

"Well, I caught her in free-fall. We locked wings and I guess she was surprised at the fact that I jumped after her," Blu started again as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"She yelled at me."

He grinned a bit as he mimicked her voice.

" 'Blu you are crazy what are you doing?' she said. I just… I just let her know how much she meant to me, and in that moment she kissed me. Falling to our deaths, locked in each other's wings, we kissed for the first time…"

Blu closed his eyes, drinking in the memory of his near-death experience when he found his true love.

"And… something was sparked inside of me."

"What did you feel?" I asked curiously.

"I felt something in here," he said, pointing to his chest where his heart was.

"There was warmth all inside me, an energy I can vividly remember. It felt so familiar, like belonging and comfort, but also wild and. Maybe that was what I was supposed to feel, for the very first time in my life. It felt so right… and before I knew it, my wings were wide open, and I was soaring through the air."

I just shook my head slightly trying to full grasp what that feeling might have felt like.

"It sounds magical, but I can't relate," I admitted with a wide smile. "What happened then?"

"Well," Blu said with a silly grin on his face, "I flew for the first time with the love of my life in my talons below me. It felt natural, and so very good. I had everything in that moment, the ability to fly independently and the love my life I could depend on. After that, we fell in love."

Blu's face had a dreamy expression on it, as if he was envisioning it all over again, but he broke his trance and smiled back at me.

"But enough about me, what about you?" he asked.

"Me?" I asked, to which Blu responded with a nod. "Oh there's not much to know really, but I'll tell you, to be fair," I said, looking back on my past.

"I don't remember my true parents, the earliest memory I have is the first time I met Aley. Her parents found me and brought me to their hollow where I met her. She's a Hyacinth Macaw, and she's like a sister to me. We've been through it all while growing up."

"Aley and her parents took me in as one of their own, seeing as no other Spix Macaws were in the area at that time. Me and Aley, oh man, we were inseparable. We used to go on little adventures back when we were developing our flight skills. We took small tree-to-tree flights, exploring and having fun all day long. Life couldn't be simpler, but we grew up, matured, and moved on, I guess," I said, finishing on a pitiful note.

"What do you mean 'moved on?' " Blu asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Well, Aley and I haven't really been on even terms lately. She recently met this other male and they're supposedly in love, but it all happened so fast that I'm a bit skeptical. I guess I'm happy for her if she actually loves him, I just don't want to see her get hurt if she rushes this relationship," I said as I stared at my talons.

It felt weird, but surprisingly relieving to voice my concerns to someone, and I was thankful for Blu's company.

"Well…" Blu started hesitantly, "it's not impossible for them to love each other, after all me and Jewel met on short notice and fell in love just like that. It does seem unlikely, but it could happen. To me it has."

Blu shook his head.

"I don't know how much my opinion means to you, but I think as long as you're there for your friend, and as long as she has your support, things will always work out in the end."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll take your advice, because it's all I have. I just fear she's growing distant from me, and even though I don't understand her relationship, I don't want to lose her as a friend. I mean, she was with me from the very beginning."

He declared reassuringly, "I understand. Time will tell, and you'll have to wait and see. She'll need you more than ever if she's going to be serious about this relationship. Just be there for her.

"Thanks Blu," I said again. "I'll do that."

After our little exchange, we both reluctantly bid each other farewell. Blu joked about watching my step on branches, and we both shared one last good laugh.

It was something else talking to someone openly, even though we were more like strangers than anything else. I could definitely grow to like Blu a lot; he's a good friend, that's for sure.

I took off from our little meeting spot, but not before Blu told me where I could find his hollow. "Maybe we could meet up again sometime, talk a bit," he said shyly, to which I agreed and waved good bye.

The sun beat down furiously overhead as I flew back to my hollow. I wanted a quick nap before I would check in with Aley again. Maybe it was time for me to open my mind and accept her fully.

Mmaybe it was time I actually faced the troubling music that was Sam.

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

I'll tell you what, it's been quite some time since I've felt as refreshed as I was after talking with Annabelle. We really opened up to each other, and I actually felt better about myself for telling someone else my past.

It was relieving, that's a good word for it.

My only hope as I flew back to my hollow was to have more talks with her in the future. Maybe we'd grow into a pair of strong, close friends and help each other with our problems, or maybe we'd just occasionally meet for lunch every now and again.

Either way, I just wanted to hang around with her. She was comforting in a way, almost like a sisterly character that actually cared about me and listened to what I had to say.

Plus she is cute, attractive, I would say, and a real charm to be in the presence of, which is always a plus. Although that doesn't mean we'd ever be a couple, because such a thing was impossible for me. I couldn't ever see Annabelle in the same light I saw Jewel, so the only relationship we'd ever share is a strictly platonic one.

Still, I enjoy her friendship, as the few times we've talked were really moving to me. I felt normal again, no matter how much my internal wounds leaked the blood of remorse and longing.

By the time I reached my hollow I, was exhausted from the heat and sought a long nap. It was still mid-day, but I had nothing else to really do. My belly was full from being nourished with a delicious mango, and to get some rest was my only objective.

My hollow was empty, but I embraced it this time. I was optimistic that I'd try to make the most of the life that I had left without Jewel. Annabelle and Alex and Jewel convinced me that I could, and that it was possible. If anything, I'd kick back and live carefree until the end of my days. Such a thing was harder to accomplish than I originally thought, but I'll leave finding a purpose for my life a task for a later date.

I took a few steps into my hollow and climbed into my nest, sitting down and closing my eyes as I did so. Thoughts filtered through my head for a few brief minutes, but after a time a small buzz crept to the edge of my consciousness.

I felt a small tingle materialize at the edge of my wing tips, growing strong as it moved down my back. An eerie feeling followed it, and before long, I knew exactly who was coming to pay me a visit.

Alex made his presence known the second I opened my eyes to look for him. He landed down and folded his wings, eyes locked on my constantly.

"Well I'll be. Never expected to find you here," Alex said with mock ignorance as he walked into my hollow. "How are you feeling, Blu?"

"Good, I feel good," I said with a plain expression. "So, what's the lesson gonna be today, chief Mystic feathers?" I asked, trying to pry information from Alex's expression, but such a feat was useless.

"I'm just checking in on you Blu. How's Annabelle?" he asked, his eerie red eyes piercing through my soul.

"Fine. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious," Alex replied as deftly picked at his right wing. "Curious to see how the new couple is getting along."

"Couple?" I shot back skeptically. "You think we're a couple? Are you crazy, Alex? I don't want a mate, I only want a friend."

Alex lowered his beak and glared at me with those evil eyes of his. Hard to tell if he truly was or not. "Blu, you can't ignore the fact that you like Annabelle, I sense it within you."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's anything more than a platonic friendship," I responded defensively.

"You can't deny it Blu. The wheels of life have been set in motion. You can't stop them, nor can Anna. And neither can I, for that matter. My gift allows me to see it clear as day, so why can't you?"

I just shook my head in disagreement before Alex continued, "Do you think her falling out of the tree was a coincidence? She's building her dependence on you, a need for you. And you need her too, no matter what you say. Your tongue obeys your mind, but your heart is where true feelings reside."

"You're wrong," I said boldly. "I could never hope to replicate a commitment with her like the one I did with Jewel."

"And you're still holding on to the past, Blu. You need to move on from that," Alex said as he stamped his talon down on the floor of the hollow. "How many times will I have to ask you to let it go? It's the only way you can live happily from now on."

I just shook my head again.

"I disagree with you. It can never be more than friendship. My heart just won't allow that."

"One of these days, Blu, you will experience the future that I have witnessed in the present. One of these days…"

With that, Alex went to the rim of the hollow, spread his wings, and took off.

The feeling that Alex left behind in me, however, never went away. The uneasiness lingered in my stomach and barred me from engaging in the sleep I so desired. Instead, I drank in his words and reflected on what Alex meant.

He hasn't been wrong yet, but I just don't see me and Annabelle ever becoming a couple. I could never simply cast Jewel aside and insert Annabelle in her place. Even if I did, there'd always be that obstacle, the pain and memories that Jewel left in my heart.

No matter how much time goes by, though the scars may heal, the marks of what once was never fade. Every previous person you hold your heart leaves their unforgettable impression, a signature of who they were and why they loved you. I could never overcome that and forget Jewel, even if it meant I could move on and live a better life.

It was impossible.

Still, I couldn't shake his ominous words from my head: "One of these days, Blu, you will experience the future that I have witnessed in the present. One of these days…" If there was even the slimmest chance that his proclamation was true, when would it be carried out?

How long did I have before I ended up caught in the web of love alongside Anna?

* * *

**At this time, would everyone thank Rapture At Sea for his efforts and devotion, betaing these chapters and really making them shine.**

**As always - Leave a review! :D**


	12. One Small Kiss

**Hi... Um, here ya go! One huge, amazing chapter that took way to long for me to finally release! This chapter is going to set the pace for the rest of the story, so hold on to your seat!**

**Enjoy,**

**(Thank you to Rapture(Toltec Spirit) for a guest appearance made in this chapter by one of his oc)**

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

It still gets to me.

The pain of losing Jewel… it's been too much. As if Alex's foreboding message wasn't enough, it gave me a heaping dose of relapse as I stand conflicted between the possibility of replacing Jewel or living a tormented life.

As if the long, dark slashes in my heart weren't enough, I had to balance letting go or holding on, and what made it worse was that I couldn't control it.

Loneliness is a killer, a pain that starts small, deep down, and builds. Restlessness and anxiety pile up and build higher, consuming you and suffocating you from the inside.

It's worse than death, as the torturous act eats away at me and the one escape I've found, the one respite from the pain.

It's the torment that I feel every idle moment and compromises every feeling I had in my life before... and it's only when I'm idle.

Only when I'm alone with nothing to do is when it strikes me. Meanwhile, my brain is running endlessly, without falter, going over every negative fact that I hate about myself.

It's only when I'm idle, without purpose or direction, that the pain becomes palpable. How am I to overcome it, when it's the pain itself that keeps me away from seeking refuge?

It's a vicious cycle, hour after hour on end, insomnia and anorexia intertwined into broken heart strings that bleed the blues of depression.

It's like my life has spun out of control ever since the loud crack of that gun, as if the universe itself was trying to shake me out of it.

And when I grab hold of hope, that small glimmer of affection and shard of care, I'm somehow condemning what I held dear before. For it is with what has happened before that I found refuge in, but before… I never needed it.

It is without doubt that life is cruel; it's hell.

We have to scrape out every bit of happiness we can and somehow time pushes us forward, as if we have a schedule to keep. But what purpose could anything serve to me?

What was the end goal and what was the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone crawled forwards to touch? And what if that goal was something I never wanted? Why did it steal my heart with such a vengeance that it left my life in shambles and beyond recovery?

Another sleepless night… yet the days have become more tolerable ever since I've started talking to Annabelle. She brings out something inside, something more profound than anything I've felt in a while.

Somehow there's hope for me in her, and somehow she brings a whole new slew of conflicts. My weary soul feels like it's on the verge of collapse, yet somewhere among the crumbling foundation she is there, holding me up.

No, there's only one thing that I can hold on to.

One ounce of hope, and it's not Annabelle. Why else would I still be here? The world has taken away everything from me, stripped me bare and left me screaming until my throat gives out.

The world buried me in a bottomless pit of despair and anguish, but despite it all, I remain alive. But I was still given a knockout punch, a blow delivered without a bit of remorse by the place I call home. It was a cruel outcome that left me emotionless and raw, but here I am.

I don't know why I am here, but I am.

Despite having no one and despite losing everything, I think only one thing pulled me through. In desperate times, we, as living, thriving beings with emotions have hope.

Even in the darkest of times and even in the grimmest of situations we can hold on to some shred of significance, because we believe in ourselves. We believe that we can recover and we believe that we're better than what holds us down.

That's why I'm still here, and this small bit of hope that I have is only magnified in what I see in Annabelle.

Someone who cares for absolutely no reason, someone whom I've just met has the heart to listen to me and comfort me, and it is then I realize that little bits of humanity and sanity do exist in us all. For me, it's my hope, and for Annabelle, it's her unbiased compassion.

Yet, even though we've only just met, it seems the compassion may stem a bit deeper. It may breach more than just the surface and it might be more than superficial.

Love is an extreme term, but who was I to say otherwise? Besides, how could I to ignore the comfort she provided when it only aided me in achieving what I longed for: relief.

Yet, I couldn't help but wonder how long would it be before I landed in a tangled web of confusion with Annabelle. I only ever wanted a friend.

Regardless, I have a choice. Stay in the depths of unrelenting sadness, the type of mourning that destroys you until you have nothing, or reach out to the one bird that gave me a chance.

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

A little nap turned into a long slumber, and it was the next morning that I finally roused myself from my nest. How I managed to hibernate through yesterday afternoon was beyond me, but I awoke with a rush of energy regardless.

The translucent sun shone vividly through the canopy as the morning air blew in from the cold ocean in waves and settled over the jungle. Remembering that I had planned to meet Aley last night, I made a mental note to visit her after I talked with Blu today.

Maybe I can finally come to terms with how she's changing and we can go back to hanging out. Besides, I miss my old friend, and, for the sake of ridding the barrier that stood between us now, I'd open my mind up just a little bit more for her.

Blu and I met again in our usual spot, but he seemed a bit off this morning. Something was obviously bothering him more than usual, but I tried to pay no attention to it.

We ended up flying into the jungle and exploring before we ate, and somewhere along the way, Blu decided that he wanted to visit the Cristo Redentor statue.

"I want to fly to the top... just to be able to look down over all of Rio," Blu said with a sheepish shrug.

"Sure, I guess," I remarked nonchalantly as I flew above the canopy and located the giant statue that overlooked all of Rio. We happened to be closer than I initially thought, so the journey only took us a matter of eight minutes or so.

We managed to grab a few fruits before heading up to the full height of the statue. In all of its glory, it stood triumphantly over the city, ever watchful and protective of its people, as the natives believe.

We ended up perching at the very top of the statue as we began eating and basking in the glorious morning rays. The wind swept past us swiftly and only served to refresh us as we enjoyed our breakfast.

I was very content, and upon finishing, I stretched back and stared up at the sky, relaxing as much as I could. The cool breeze sifting through my feathers with a calming noise that soothed me as I lay out in the sun.

I sat here for some time in silence next to Blu, and it was he who broke the silence first.

"Hey, Annabelle?" he asked pensively.

"Yeah Blu?" I responded as I tilted my head to look at him. He was staring at his talons in deep thought as he hesitated to continue on.

It was here that I realized something was actually troubling him, so I straightened myself up to focus on what he had to say.

"It's just..." Blu said, hesitating again as he struggled to get out what he wanted to say, "I'm sorry... I'm still very torn up about Jewel."

"And rightfully so," I added as I patted him on the back, trying to reassure him.

"Thanks, but I'm just so conflicted... we're just friends, right?" he asked, peering down at me.

"Oh, of course Blu. We're friends," I said with a reassuring smile.

"No, I mean..." Blu paused again, choked up on his words.

I quickly wracked my brain trying to figure out what exactly he meant.

"Ugh, it's just..." Blu clicked his beak in an obvious attempt to try and stimulate his brain to come up with what he wanted to say.

"It's just what, Blu? You can tell me anything," I declared, trying to help him along.

"I'm glad I have you..." he finally said with a heavy exhale, "I mean, you came at exactly the right time… when I needed someone. Thank you, I really needed a friend."

"Sure thing," I said with a sheepish grin.

Somehow, I knew there was something more he wanted to say, but I didn't push on.

A short minute or two passed by and we fell back to silence as we watched the bustling city of Rio. It was really an empowering sight to behold, being able to see for so far.

However, the uneasiness radiating from Blu never ceased. I couldn't help but scoot closer to him and place my wing over him.

"What's the matter, Blu?" I asked, trying to comfort him again.

This time Blu didn't accept my approach and he took a small step away.

"Why do you care?" he asked, looking at me dead in my eyes. "Why do you care about me? Who am I to you?"

I was taken aback a bit and my mind raced initially, wondering what he was talking about. Eventually, I understood where he was coming from; mainly because it was truly illogical that someone would reach out to someone they didn't know. I didn't have real answer for him right away, so I ended up hesitating.

"I mean, look at me," Blu mumbled. "My life is in shambles, I have nothing but pain and loss. I'm not someone anyone would ever want to know, or should know. I'm useless...

"Why do you even care?" Blu repeated in defeat.

He turned his back on me and stared down at his talons again.

"I'm just... a broken bird. I have no worth to anyone anymore. You'd be better off if you just left me to rot away."

Blu shook his head in agony as I saw shreds of tears fling from his eyes and drop to the ground below. His breathing rate increased and faint murmurs and whimpers echoed out of his beak as he began crying. It tore my heart in half seeing him this way, as I could only imagine the pain he felt.

I couldn't stand watching him fall apart, so I wracked my brain in an attempt to find an excuse as quickly as I could. When nothing came to mind, I blurted out the first, most sincere and honest thing that I could.

"Sympathy," I whispered. "There's no logical reason for me to care, but I do. I just do, and I feel so sorry for you," I confessed as I reached out with my wing and placed it on his back again.

"Blu, it's just we're the last two Spix's Macaws. You're technically the closest relative I have, and in a way, I really like you as a friend," I said in a low, sorrowful tone. "I can't say that I know how you feel, or that I can even come close to it, but know that I truly feel sorry for you. I can't explain why I care so much for you, I just don't want to see you sad, and I guess it's in my nature."

Blu sat still as the heaving of his chest slowed to a steady pace.

"Sorry," he moaned, shaking the tears out of his eyes. "We've been through this before… I just, I don't know."

I hugged Blu softly from behind.

"It's okay to feel this pain and uneasiness. It's only natural after experiencing such a traumatizing event. It's part of the recovery process and what happens when you move onto a normal life. Well, as normal a life as you can have after something like that. I'm sorry, Blu."

"Th-thank you," Blu said, releasing a pent up breath.

"I just wish there was some way I could help you through this," I said pitifully, remarking about how useless I was.

"You've done enough," Blu said, turning to meet my eyes. His own glimmered in the early rays of sun as a look of pure gratefulness flooded his features. "You've done enough for me. Thank you."

I smiled in reply.

"It's nothing. I'm here for you, Blu."

Blu smiled back at me, and then turned his gaze towards the city of Rio and all of its majesty.

"I never thought… after coming here… that I'd ever meet the bird of my dreams… the love of my life," Blu began again.

His voice was still shaky, but held a faint reminiscent tone to it.

"I never understood how happy one could be before coming here, or even what happiness was. I never realized how fulfilling life could be, but…" Blu cut himself off and I got the implied meaning.

"This place also took it all away, leaving me an empty husk of who I used to be. I'm so tired…"

"I know," I said, patting Blu's back.

"After you get a taste of what life can offer..." Blu continued, "how do you find meaning when it's stripped away from you?"

"I don't know. Maybe you have to find something new... I'm sure there's always more to life. But I don't know. I've never experienced what you did," I finished with a faint tone of longing.

Blu let out a deep sigh, and we sat in silence again, watching the thriving metropolis as it went about its daily business. In all of its glory, Rio was definitely a city to revere.

Sure it had its problems, but what city didn't? Its beauty and majesty truly set it apart from any other city I've ever come across, and throughout my whole life I've come to know it as my home, well, aside from the jungle itself, that is.

It felt like almost an hour before either of us stirred again, too entranced by Rio's enticing and busy nature. However, it was Blu who broke out of his spell first.

"What plans do you have for today?" he said with a faint whisper, as if he was trying not to disturb the vast city's rhythm.

"Nothing really," I answered casually as a default answer before I remembered what I had planned. "Oh, but I was going to visit my friend Aley today. She wanted to hang out and I promised her I'd meet her."

Blu remained silent as he stared off in the distance.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason, really. I was thinking of just napping the day away. There's not much I do otherwise."

"Oh," I said abruptly. "We'll have to hang out later then, find something to do together," I quipped in a cheery voice, trying to prod a reaction from Blu. He just shifted his position and looked back at me with a small smirk.

"Sure," he said, "I'd like that."

I bid Blu a farewell not long after, since I _did_ promise Aley I'd unite with her. I bid Blu my farewells and left him sitting alone on top of the giant man that guarded all of Rio. I only looked back once to see his gloomily sad face watching as I sailed off.

Once I had traveled a good distance, I took a deep breath and sighed deeply, releasing the stress that had built up. It was a troubling thing to deal with, talking to Blu about his past and all.

I wish I could honestly take it all away from him, just so he wouldn't have to suffer. Birds as nice as him don't deserve to suffer…

From what I can tell, it does seem that he's gotten better since I met him, and I'm happy because of it. It's just times like these that are really difficult when talking to him.

I met Aley where we used to always meet up, among a grove of trees just outside the edge of the city. I could tell she was ecstatic to see me, as her face lit up when our eyes met.

"Anna!" Aley called, waving her wing at me shortly after I landed next to her.

"Hey Aley, how are you doing?" I asked, giving her a friendly hug which she returned.

"I'm good, where have you been?" Aley replied, looking me over as if she hadn't seen me in years. "You haven't talked with me as much as we used to. Is something up?"

"No, no," I said brushing her comment off. "I figured you and Sam wanted time alone together, so I just kind of fell back."

Aley gave me a skeptical look. "That's silly, we'd never want you to leave us alone," she giggled as her eyes wandered off. "But all the time I've spent alone with Sammy has been great."

It threw me for a quick loop when she used Sam's name like that.

"Yeah," I said with a nervous laugh. "Sooo, what are we going to do today?"

Aley grabbed my wing as she bounced up and down excitedly. "We're going down to the club. We'll stay for a few drinks and then catch dinner with Sam. He said it'll be at some bird restaurant that recently opened up."

_How could I refuse this offer?_ I thought.

"Sounds like a good plan. I'm game, I guess."

"Dang right you are!" Aley said winking at me. "Now c'mon, let's go relax a bit."

The total time it took us to get to the club was around twelve minutes, and let me tell you, I sure was tired by the end of the journey. From the time I woke up it felt like I was doing nothing but flying around, but I didn't mind much.

When we finally reached the club, I recognized the place immediately. It was the same place we went when we first met up with Sam. The same place that Roy… yeah, no need to explain what went down _that_ night.

"Um, Aley?" I whispered, tugging at her wing as we entered the pulsing, musky and somewhat alluring club.

"What's up?" Aley said, cocking her head only slightly to get a glimpse at me before she kept walking forward.

"Are we going to meet Sam here, or later?" I asked, dreading what she might say.

"Um, no, he's going to only meet up with us for dinner," Aley stated as she picked out an open table and sat down.

It was here, in the midst of the loud music that shook the walls and hindered my thinking, that I made a note to dip out before dinner. I sure didn't want to meet up with Sam and his two goons.

Aley waved down a bird with a tray that was passing around drinks, and a few seconds later he walked over to our table. He was a Military Macaw with a rather large build, and he positioned himself sideways as he studied us.

"What will you two be having?" he asked in his masculine voice, which was distinctly audible over the was the first to pipe up. "I'll have one Sunset Explosion. Go easy on the liquor, and keep it smooth."

"I'd just like some mango juice," I said, wincing at how dry my throat was.

"Aw come on, Annabelle! I don't want to be the only one drinking!" Aley urged, nudging me with her wing.

"I just don't feel like…" My voice trailed off as Annabelle gave me a pitiful, puppy dog look.

"Fine, some spiked mango juice… but bring me a water too."

"Water?" Aley mused as she giggled a bit.

"Coming right up for the two beautiful ladies," the macaw said as he turned away and proceeded to fetch our drinks.

Aley looked around the thriving club and stretched back a bit before drilling me with her gaze. "So Anna, tell me, who is this other macaw some of the locals have caught you with?"

"Other macaw?" I asked. Surely she wasn't talking about Blu, right?

"Yeah, some people are saying he's a blue macaw just like you. Is this true?" She eyed me suspiciously, craving to know the answer.

"Um, blue macaw?" I asked, trying to divine what she could be possibly seeking to know. Right before I opened my beak to respond, two large drinks were placed in front of me with a thud.

He handed me two glass containers that held my chosen drinks, and handed Aley a swirling red-orange drink that bubbled furiously.

"Here you go. Enjoy," the macaw said, positioning himself sideways and hiding the right side of his body. The military macaw studied me closer with his peering eye and I saw some sort of curiosity fill his face.

"Excuse me, but what type of macaw are you exactly?" he questioned, turning to face me squarely.

]His right eye had a terrifyingly deep gash that left his face deformed and scarred beyond repair. The hollow, defunct, right eye had a ghastly white appearance that made me grimace in shock. On top of that, he also had an X shaped patch of bare skin where he had obviously been scarred as well.

"Whoa!" a voice right next to me cried. Aley had just seen his eye, no doubt, and her reaction was typical: abrupt.

The Military Macaw flinched on slightly before he cleared his throat and spoke again. "Something wrong?"

"Oh, sorry," I said, snapping myself out of my trance. "I'm a Spix's Macaw, or blue macaw for short."

"Interesting, I've never met one of your species before. You're a rare sight around here," he remarked, scrutinizing me with the only eye that worked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm kind of the last of my species," I replied in a whisper just loud enough to be heard over the pumping music. "Forgive me for asking, but what happened to you?"

"Tell us!" Aley blurted out in excitement.

The dark green macaw was taken aback a bit, but he simply cleared his throat and answered, "I'd be glad to tell you the whole story, but I can't spare the time tonight."

Aley's stare only intensified as she leaned forward to examine his ruined eye further.

"Can I… touch it?" she asked with an upward inflection on her voice.

The macaw didn't even hesitate. "No. It's too personal."

"Oh. My bad…"

The macaw turned to me and pointed his wing at Aley with a questioning look. "Is she always this weird?"

"Yup," I replied, "That's Aley."

The macaw just dropped his wing and stood there out of place, and I couldn't help but laugh at how silly Aley had been. "So what's your name?" I asked, trying to pass the awkward moment.

"My name is Marquez," he stated with a renewed vigor and pride. "I bartend here regularly."

Marquez glanced around as someone called for him and he took a step back as he remembered his duties. "And there it is. I'll have to go for now. It was nice meeting you two."

"Nice meeting you too, Marquez. We'll have to talk some time, I'm curious about that eye of yours. It doesn't hurt… does it?" I asked timidly.

Marquez released a hearty laugh. "Oh no, don't worry about me. It doesn't hurt one bit." Someone from across the club called a second time over the loud crowd and music, beckoning for Marquez. "Sorry ladies, but I must return to my job."

I waved as I watched him walk off. When I looked back at Aley, she had the most peculiar smile on her face. She cocked her head and blasted me with a huge grin. "Wasn't that the creepiest thing?" she asked with a shiver, obviously studying a mental picture of his eye.

"I don't know. I think it's kind of sad, since he's probably half-blind and all. I wonder how he got it."

Aley shrugged, "I don't know, but it's quite the 'eye-sore', if you ask me." She laughed again, but I thought it wasn't very nice, and didn't buy into it.

I simply shrugged and grabbed my mango juice, sipping a few small tastes. There was definitely alcohol in the drink, but it was almost non-existent. Aley, too, attacked her drink but in her own way. She grasped the cup and lifted it to her beak, chugging a few swigs before slamming the glass down with a satisfied thump.

"Anna…" Aley said after her refreshing drink, "you never told me about that one macaw."

"Oh…" I said as I took another small sip. "He's… well… just another Spix's Macaw. You've heard of him before, I think. You know Blu, right? His mate, Jewel, died because of some humans."

Aley's smile warped into a devilish grin. "And you're swooping in to fill her spot?" She winked at me, and a pang of disgust shot through me.

"No, it's nothing like that," I snapped defensively. "We just met and started talking. We're more like friends than anything."

Aley just shrugged. "Hey, don't get mad at me, you're the one dating him!"

My right wing slapped against my face with a smack as I just shook my head. "Whatever you say, Aley."

"Yeah, whatever I say. I like that," Aley said with a chuckle.

"You have quite the ego, sis."

"I know," Aley remarked, grinning. "So now I'm your sis, huh? You haven't called me that in a while."

"And you haven't talked to me in a while ever since Sam came along," I said jokingly. "You're still your playful self though."

Aley's face melted into a lovey-dovey expression. "What can I say?" she answered, sighing. I love that crazy macaw."

My joking mood faded a bit and the smile I had on my face was replaced with a slight frown, but Aley was too distracted by her thoughts to notice.

_Love? She actually loves him? Oh boy…_

I took another sip of my drink before putting it down and switching to the water. The mango juice was satisfying, but I needed water to dilute the alcohol I was sucking up.

"I can't wait until you meet him tonight," Aley said returning her focus to me. "But enough of that, I wanna know more about this Blu character."

Our chatting continued as I recalled my profound events with Blu to Aley.

Among other things, one remark that irked me was her mentioning how much of a cry baby he was, but I brushed it off. Aley was Aley and possessed her own personality of indifference and ignorance perhaps.

Aley also shared her experiences with Sam: how good of a kisser and drinker he is, how cool he is and how everyone in the club scene knew him.

He definitely sounded like a charming prince the way Aley described him, but I doubt he was the "Mr. Perfect" Aley made him out to be. He didn't seem that way to me when I first met him, only way too full of himself.

Either way, there was no getting out of meeting him on mutual terms tonight for dinner, I guess.

Aley and I ordered two more rounds, but I didn't request anymore spiked drinks, unbeknownst to her, of course.

After hitting the dance floor for a good hour or so, Aley pulled me aside and announced it was time for dinner, even though by the time I got outside it was blatantly obvious it was still early in the afternoon. Aley just insisted this was the time she had planned, which made sense because we skipped lunch altogether.

I could tell the alcohol had gotten to her, but she was far from being blissfully unaware of anything around her. It was quite humorous how she laughed at just about anything when she got a bit tipsy, though, and it was contagious so before I knew it, I was laughing at just about everything too.

We sailed over Rio en route to our dinner date with Sam, joking about how funny looking humans are.

"Their heads are just soooo big! And what's the matter with their talons? Those things look so ridiculous! How could they possibly hold anything with them?"

I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. Aley was a treat to be around when she got like this. "Why did… I ever stop… hanging out with you?" I asked past fits of laughter.

"Because you got boring," Aley said out of impulse, and she even chuckled a bit.

_Boring?_ I thought, stopping short. I ignored it and said, "I guess so. How much further is it?"

"That's a dumb question, because we're here!" she squawked, banking to the left into an alley tucked between a maze of houses.

The alley was nothing special, just like all the other ones these weird bird hangouts were in. Much like the rest, however, there was a small opening into an abandoned house. We landed in front, but something was different about this place. Usually near clubs you'd hear music, but there was a silence.

"I'd like to welcome you to the first avian restaurant in Rio," Aley announced as she walked into the house. The inside was much nicer than the clubs I was so used to being in. It was well lit, and had rows of tables dispersed through the building. It was also much less hectic than the club.

"Sam played a part in opening it up, he has tons of connections like that," Aley explained as she waddled through the building with me trailing behind her. "This place has literally every type of fruit, nut, or berry you can think of. Even some imported goods you've never ever heard about before."

Aley lead me behind a row of tables and into another room. This one was more elaborately supplied, stuffed with fancy tables pushed together that had candles on top. Aside from three birds arranged around a table, the room was empty. The other dining area was comparatively full, which I guess held regular guests.

"Ah, Aley!" a voice called from the table which sat three birds.

Sam, Roy and Mason sat at the table. Sam beckoned for us, and immediately, Aley hopped over and sat next to him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey babe," he said as he placed his wing over her, "how was your day?"

"Oh it was amazing," Aley cooed back, "me and Anna had such a great time."

Sam remarked playfully, "It smells like you've been drinking a little bit."

"Only a little," she said as she kissed him again on the cheek.

Awkwardly, I found the only open seat in between Roy and Mason. Mason, as I remembered, was the quiet one of the group, so I scooted my seat slightly away from Roy and more towards Mason.

"Hello there, Annabelle," Roy greeted, smiling at me. "How are you?"

"Fine," I said abruptly.

"So what do you think, Annabelle?" Sam asked as he held his wings open, gesturing to the room around us.

I looked around the room, observing the subtle décor and atmosphere. "I've never been in a place like this before. Does that answer your question?"

"It's amazing, isn't it?" he said with a brimming smile. "We have literally any fruit you can think of. Name something, we'll have it out for you immediately."

"Um, okay. How about… mangoes?"

Sam immediately called for a waiter and instructed him to fetch an order of mangoes. Within the minute, a tray of sliced fruit was placed in front of me. Everyone at the table stopped and watched, waiting for me to try them.

It was weird, but I just shrugged. _They're just mangoes, right? _I thought.

I picked up a slice with my talon and plopped it into my beak. Immediately a huge, refreshing rush of sugar hit me as I processed the mango slice with my beak. This was perhaps the juiciest mango I had ever tasted, and in addition, it was cold and refreshing.

"It's cold," I said as I chewed, obviously satisfied.

"Refrigeration, Annabelle," Roy said with a smirk.

"It's a modern technology we borrowed from the humans. How else could we have only the best of the best here? It's quite perfect, right?" Sam queried.

"It's so delicious," I said plopping another slice into my beak, "It's pretty amazing."

After finishing the mango, Sam had an assortment of fruits brought out, most of which I've never seen before. I sampled around, eating and enjoying different species as we all dined.

There was a silence as we ate, aside from the cooing between Sam and Aley, which I did my best to ignore. Roy was eyeing me the whole time, but I also tried my best to ignore him too.

Once we all finished we sat back as our stomachs began to process and churn the food. I had no idea how my body would react to all these different selections being crammed in there at once, but the only thing I know is that it was probably one of the best meals I ever had.

Aley noticed the blissfully satisfied look on my face and she almost busted out laughing.

"Happy?" she asked, giggling at me.

"Wow that was amazing. What's this fruit called?" I asked, pointing to remnants of a purple sphere.

"That, my friend, is called a grape," Sam replied as he stretched back and placed his wing around Aley. In return, Aley just snuggled closer to him.

"Those were the best," I said, sighing in relief as my stomach gurgled in satisfaction.

Roy turned his attention to me again.

"So Annabelle…" he started.

At this point Sam took his gaze off Aley and leaned forward in anticipation.

"Yes?" I asked in the most apathetic tone I could muster.

"About that night in the club," Roy continued, "I really had a great time with you. You can really dance."

"Thank you," I said, in the same indifferent tone.

Roy paused and looked at Sam who, in turn, gave him a nod of approval. I tried to not notice, but it was obvious they had talked this through beforehand.

"I just want you to know you're beautiful. How about a kiss?"

The room grew silent, and I felt every pair of eyes glare at me. I stared at the plate in front of me, before moving my gaze up. First I looked at Roy, who had a smug look on his face, eagerly awaiting my answer.

Next I looked at Aley, who was just staring at me, waiting. Sam had his head cocked, obviously waiting to hear what I said.

The whole world stopped and my mind raced. _Was this the reason I was brought here?_

"A… kiss?" I stuttered out.

Everyone's glare intensified as I was put on the spot. "Yes. Can I get a kiss?" he repeated.

Something inside me snapped. _I don't need this. Not from him, _I thought_._ I shook my head, stood up, and left the room.

"Anna?" Aley called after me as I heard a chair rustle behind me.

I booked it for the exit, as I had had enough of this for one evening. I began to wonder if the only reason Aley brought me here was for Roy to pop that sick question.

Come to think of it, everything that Aley was asking me about and talking about was prepping me for the favor he wanted, and how shamelessly he had petitioned for it. "How about a kiss?" Are you kidding me?

I was furious by the time I reached the outside, but as soon as I opened my wings to take off, I felt a tug on my tail.

Aley was the one responsible, and a mask of utter concern had been applied to her face. "Anna, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Seriously?" I snapped. "He just asked if I wanted to kiss him!"

"What's so wrong about that?" Aley questioned.

"What's wrong with that? Do you even know what he did to me at the club that night!?" I screamed in a bout of rage.

Aley stopped and looked away, shaking her head,. "Annabelle, he just wants to get to know you better. Why are you acting this way?"

"Because what he did was rude, and it was embarrassing to have him ask me that!" I answered back.

"Embarrassing? So it wasn't embarrassing to me having you storm off like a child?" Aley fired back with annoyance building in her voice.

"The only children around are those three in there!" I yelled out of rage before fully understanding what I had said. Aley stopped short and gave me a sour look.

"What's going on?" a voice called out from the entrance of the restaurant. It was Roy, and he had a confused and irritated look on his face.

I just shook my head and turned away. "Hey, Annabelle," Roy continued, "I'm talking to you."

Roy approached me and pushed me, spinning me around to face him. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"What's the matter? You're the one who's trying to hit on me you immature jerk!" I yelled.

Roy just flashed me a mean look. "Hit on you? Maybe if you weren't so stuck up you'd-"

"No, no, no," I said, cutting him off. "Aley, why?" I asked.

She had retreated to the back and had an uneasy look on her face.

"Any time before you met with this Sam guy, you'd tear a guy's head off if he talked to me like this. What's gotten into you?"

Aley remained silent, and Roy was now bubbling with rage.

"Things have changed," Aley finally said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"What's changed?" I asked, tears of my own started to form at a more rapid rate.

"You should leave, Annabelle," Aley said in a renewed tone. She shook her head again, "You don't belong here anymore."

"Yeah! We need to get rid of this bit-" Aley cut Roy off this time with her wing.

"Go inside, Roy," Aley ordered furiously. After Roy hesitated, Aley repeated herself. "Now!"

Hesitantly, Roy withdrew mumbling some vulgarities and he eventually went back inside.

"What's wrong with you?" Aley asked once he was inside.

"Wrong with me? What's wrong with you!?" I shot back at her. "You've become a whole different bird since that demon entered your life. Do you really think you'd 'love' him in such a short time?"

"I LOVE him, Annabelle. Why can't you accept that?" Aley screamed at me. "Why can't you see that? I didn't invite you here so stupid Roy could hit on you, I invited you to show you how much he means to me!"

I opened my beak to protest, but I shut it with a clack. "And another thing, maybe I have changed, but love does that to a person. Who's to say you haven't changed too? Point is, you can't accept the fact that I love him."

I shook my head in disproval, "They're so immature, Aley. Why can't you see that in them?"

"Immature? Maybe you're the immature one. Anna, don't you realize that you'll never find a significant other if you don't expand your horizons and lower your standards? Just take Blu as an example. Do you honestly think you'll ever have a chance with him? No, because he's a broken bird, and he'll never love you."

I snapped again with the mention of Blu.

"I don't want to have that kind of relationship with Blu! You're just throwing yourself out there like you're free for the taking. I just… I just don't want to see someone hurt you, Aley."

"Hurt me? Annabelle, I LOVE him, and he LOVES me too. Plus, no relationship is perfect, everyone makes compromises."

"He's no good Aley, can't you see that? Plus he's tearing us apart, Aley! He's separating us!"

With that last statement, Aley went quiet. She was obviously brimming with rage and on the verge of exploding, but she sighed and repressed it.

"Go home, Annabelle," she declared finally in a firm tone. "I choose him."

Her last three words hit me like a rock fired from a cannon. It felt like someone had punched the breath right out of me and left me reeling from the impact of her words.

I was speechless at this point and I wiped the tears out of my eyes several times before I mustered anything else up.

"Aley? I'm your sister… please try to understand me…"

"Just go home. You've ruined everything for me."

I turned and lifted off the ground, unable to stand what Aley was saying to me. I cried the whole fifteen minutes back to my hollow, my mind racing over and over at the events that had just occurred.

From what I gathered, Aley, my sister and best friend, no longer wanted me in her life. My worst fears of the past few days had finally came true, and Sam was successful in stealing away my dearest friend.

In a way, she was like a mother figure to me as she was the one who was always there for me. Whenever I had huge problems like this, I'd always talk to her… but now, _she_ was the problem.

And she had cast me out before even dreaming of fixing herself.

When I finally arrived to my hollow I crashed in the nest, burying my head in my wing and crying deeply. Sob after sob, I poured my feelings into my wing and I wracked my head and punished myself for not handling the situation better.

But then again, what else could I have done differently? What could I have said? I shouldn't have exploded when Roy asked me such a stupid, immature question.

The built up frustration had me on edge, and I felt like I was about to detonate on the inside. I kept crying, picking a small feather or two out occasionally as punishment on myself and to cope with the emotional pain.

My chest heaved with each sob and eventually I cried myself to a certain degree of depression. I felt an urgent need to cry to someone, but without Aley, I had no one. I sat in my eternal sadness until it finally hit me.

Blu! I had a sudden urge to talk to Blu and unload my pain on to him. After all, he's who I've been talking to in order to cure my afflictions these past few days.

I was hesitant at first and I rejected the idea because it had grown so late in the day. By the time I reached his hollow I was sure it'd be night, and I couldn't bring myself to disturb him… but the emotional pain persisted.

When crying wasn't enough, I always resorted to talking to someone. Eventually that instinct kicked in, and I was on my way to Blu's hollow…

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

The night was peaceful, and my mind was clear. The tree creaked and swayed in the wind of the night and last bit of sunlight had finally been consumed by the darkness of the night.

I sighed in relief and closed my eyes as I snuggled into my nest. _Another boring day done,_ I thought as I made myself comfortable.

The pain of Jewel still ebbed within my consciousness, but I was at the point where I could finally clear my head and distract myself with other thoughts.

The peacefulness of the jungle at night was serene, and it was in this silence, mixed with the occasional breeze, that I heard faint wing beats.

I didn't think anything of it, yet my subconscious noticed them getting ever louder. Eventually I heard someone sniffing and faintly whimpering, but I again, paid no attention to it.

I felt my consciousness slip and I nearly passed into the realms of dreams when a voice assaulted my ears.

"Blu!"

A desperate cry echoed through my hollow, waking me up instantly.

"What, what? What is it?" I asked urgently, trying to make out who was in my hollow. It was Annabelle, but she was crying and by the looks of her, it would appear that she had been crying for a while now."

"What's wrong? Annabelle?" I asked, hopping over to her and grabbing her with my wings. She whimpered something unintelligible and let out a couple sobs as her chest heaved rapidly.

"Annabelle, calm down. Tell me, what's wrong?"

"I… I…" Annabelle struggled trying to talk past fits of sadness. "It's Aley… She… she hates me. I'm… a terrible… person."

"Aley? What happened?"

Annabelle gave me a quick rundown of the events that occurred earlier, explaining everything from the club where she shared drinks, to the bird restaurant, and finally the fight.

Annabelle was a mess and she kept blaming herself.

"It's all my fault, I reacted too harshly…" she said with a whimper.

"No, no…" I said trying to comfort her. "You did what you thought was right. Those guys shouldn't have done what they did. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself."

"But… what about Aley?" Annabelle asked as she tried to calm herself.

I paused slightly, unable to come up with a good answer. "Just… give her some time to cool off. She'll come through for you eventually… and if she really loves him, it'll all work out in the end."

"Yeah…" Annabelle said, "I guess…. Thank you, Blu."

"It's what friends do," I said, trying to cheer her up. I brought her face level with mine. "Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault."

* * *

**(~Annabelle~)**

I composed myself the best I could.

"Sorry I stopped by so abruptly Blu. I just… needed someone to talk to."

"Hey, anytime. It's no big deal. Like you said to me, I'm here for you."

I looked at Blu and his sincere smile. I was so grateful to have him here for my problems. I collapsed into his wings and gave him a big hug.

"Thank you, Blu…"

What happened next was completely unplanned.

Without a second thought, I kissed Blu, and two seconds passed before I realized our beaks were stuck together.

Immediately I pulled away with a gasp. Blu was also stunned, and he took a cautious step back.

"Annabelle… why did you…"

I was in such shock that I stumbled on my words.

"Blu… I… I…" I couldn't articulate anything, and I started to tear up again.

"Annabelle…" Blu muttered again.

Desperately I grabbed him with my wings.

"Blu, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! It was just an impulse, I promise!"

Blu just shook his head and turned to the side. His eyes went to his talons as he contemplated what I had done.

"Blu, please. I didn't mean it. I already lost Aley today… I don't want to lose you. Don't hate me too…" I desperately said, trying to get any kind of response out of him.

He looked back up at me, still taken aback by what had happened, and then dreamily uttered one word.

"Annabelle…"

Blu then placed his wings on me and kissed me back, sending bliss coursing down my spine and through my entire body.

* * *

**I can only hope that this will make up for the wait, I hope you guys liked it. As always, Thank you to Toltec for helping me along.**

**Leave a review, don't I deserve it for the long chapter :D?**


	13. What's Next?

**Incoming filler...**

**Enjoy:**

* * *

(~Annabelle~)

The world stood still, as if through the wake of organized chaos, a certain moment in time was reserved for this one kiss. It was so serene, unlike anything I've ever expected… which strikes me as odd, really.

It was the popular consent of my friends that informed me that kisses were overrated, yet this one moved me like an earthquake rocks a skyscraper. The tingles down my spine, his wings grasping either side of me; it was a pivotal moment, but I couldn't shake a strange feeling and an opposing thought in the back of my mind.

Something was beeping in alarm and resentment, which poured queasiness into my stomach. And yet… something else urged me on and pushed me to hold Blu's kiss for that much longer.

It felt like someone had ripped my consciousness into two conflicting parts, and a swarm of mixed emotions filled my heart and warred, vying for power and control over the situation. My mind raced for what seemed like an eternity, and through my mental daze it was only by happenstance that I realized our kiss had ended, for I had no recollection of us calling off the sensuous gesture.

Blu must have been holding me up, because I was in his wings with my eyes wider than they had ever been before. I had to physically put effort in shaking my head to rid myself of the confusion that gripped me.

Even after I cured myself of that issue, my stomach gurgled uneasily like a pool of boiling, frothy lava.

"Blu?" I asked in a mere whisper, coming back to life. He gazed steadily into my eyes with his beak closed.

I could tell he was just as perplexed as I was. Everything had escalated so quickly. What now?

His breath tickled my sense of smell with a warm, musky scent that was somewhat alluring and only fueled my disorientation further. It felt so awkward and yet so comforting to be this close to another bird, who was also one of the opposite sex, no less.

The touch of his feathers was like pillows of sweet security, but coupled with an overlying feeling of embarrassment due to the new experience.

He refreshed his grip on me, eyes trying but failing to wander off.

"I… so… did that really just happen?" he asked as if he himself was unsure of the advances we made towards each other.

I sucked in a deep sigh to calm my nerves and gather the air required to reply.

"I… guess so…" I stated as a chill streaked over my body, sending ripples through my flesh.

Blu closed his eyes for a moment or two and pondered the situation, taking in the moment and mulling the events over. Then, as swift as the breeze that ebbed around the tree, he reopened his eyes and focused in on me again.

"I… don't know what happens next," Blu answered in such an ignorant tone that I couldn't help but giggle. Abruptly, I wiped the scant tears from my eyes and regained my composure.

"Good… me neither, I guess."

Blu smiled and then averted his gaze outside, letting out a petulant exhalation. He stood up and walked to the edge of the hollow. He sat there like a statue as I watched in silence; a war, no doubt, raging in his head.

It only made me feel worse to think that I was now causing him so much pain… I never meant for things to be this way.

* * *

(-Blu-)

Uncertainty…

If I could sum everything up with one word, uncertainty would be that word. It would also be the cause of the explosion of emotions that raged inside my mind in a wild torrent. I breathed heavily as I contemplated what to do next, but the cool night air swept over me and left me shivering.

As if sensing it, or maybe she saw me shaking from the cold threads of wing, Annabelle approached me from behind and draped her wings over my shoulders, hugging me and sharing her body warmth.

Without a word, we both stared into the sea of black that cloaked the jungle, suffocating the life that thrived during the day.

I swelled my lungs with precious oxygen again, and Annabelle shifted uncomfortably, probably noticing how unstable I had become. But it wasn't without effort that I dove deep within my mind, trying to divine some sort of logical sense.

Annabelle and I had kissed... legitimately kissed.

The first time it took me by complete and utter surprise, bringing forth nostalgic feelings of affection that used to flood my being before I was nothing more than a shell. It had shocked me really, but in a surprisingly good way.

With that first kiss, I remembered what it felt like and what it meant to have a lover. But it was so short lived that I had to make certain what I felt was real.

However, it wasn't as easy as that, and that's why I had kissed her back.

She wasn't my Jewel, and that was the first fact that cranked the internal sirens to life, but it also felt like I was betraying myself, my heart, and my deceased lover.

So here I sat, wrapped in the warmth of Annabelle's wings, clueless as to what this all meant. I was blind to where things would progress from here, and how we would handle it. And Jewel always called _me_ the intelligent one.

A fraction of me missed the companionship I used to treasure, while the leftover chunk of me felt compelled to never give up what I once had. I was being stretched and torn like a rubber band, and there's nothing more to it.

Logic told me that Jewel was dead, and that I should just move on, but it's not that easy. It never is… but it's not just logic.

There was also some instinct inside me that thirsted for the presence of another... of a female. Something crawled deep within that craved it, needed it, and would do anything to obtain it.

So why am I so hesitant? I can't figure it out.

"Blu?" Annabelle piped up after what seemed like forever-and-a-half. Her soft voice pulled me back into reality.

"Yeah?" I asked solemnly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in a regret laden tone.

"Don't be. Just… let me think…" I assured her, shaking my head. I lifted her wings up and turned around to face her. She, in turn, backed up and gave me space to recede further into the hollow.

"This… doesn't mean that we love each other… does it?" Annabelle asked meekly.

Ah, finally a question I knew the answer to with infallible certainty.

"No, not quite. Love is so much more. When you're in love, you'll know. You won't have any questions about it," I explained emphatically, or perhaps dramatically. "No," I repeated. "Honestly, I don't know what this means."

I placed one wing under my beak in thought, and then rephrased my reply.

"I suppose that kiss was proof that I like you, and I hope you like me too."

Annabelle smiled an angelic smile.

"Yeah, I do. A lot," she said with a honey-like giggle.

Letting out a huge yawn, I remembered the time of day, realizing it was night.

"You should sleep here tonight. It's too dark for you to be flying out by yourself," I cautioned, clambering into my nest.

Annabelle looked around the hollow uneasily.

"Sleep? Here?" she queried, shifting uncomfortably.

"Why not?" I asked. "Unless you don't want to… but uh, it's kind of not safe to be out, you know?"

I felt kind of cruel for secretly begging her to stay, but it was the right thing to do.

"Do you mean like… in your nest?" she asked, pointing to the unoccupied space beside me. I couldn't help but feel heat rushing into my face, too.

"Um…" I said, opening my beak as if to answer her question, but I was quick to shut it.

I observed the nest in which I was already sitting in, coming to the conclusion that it would only be just barely big enough for the two of us.

"Sure. I mean…only if you want to. It's your choice." I smiled uneasily, trying to sound as nonchalant as I possibly could.

Annabelle just surveyed the nest again, glanced back at me, then back at the nest.

"Sure. Yeah, ok."

Then, very timidly, she walked over to me and climbed into the nest. Instantly, I noticed her body warmth, and I couldn't help but sigh in relief when she finally settled in.

"Besides," I concluded, "It's unusually cold tonight."

"Yeah…" she agreed as she looked at me.

I hadn't been this close to Annabelle… ever. It was so comforting, like we were already a mated pair who wanted nothing more than to be with each other. We were far from that fantasy, mind you, but I would enjoy our closeness for tonight, and also during the nights to come.

I looked at Annabelle one last time, and she stared back.

"Good night, Blu," she whispered ever-so-succulently as she closed her eyes and turned her head away from me slightly, facing the entrance of the hollow.

I kept watching her as her chest rose and fell with each passing breath, combined heat bouncing back and forth between our bodies. It had sure been a while since I was this intimately close with someone, and even though I had conflicting feelings, I was beginning to cherish it more and more.

As my eyelids began to grow heavier, I tried fighting the increasingly powerful urge to succumb to sleep. Wave after wave of fatigue hit me and tugged me into myself.

After several such disturbances came and went, something happened that blew my mind and almost caused me to wake up again.

Annabelle was replaced by the form of another bird.

I spied Jewel, and she was sleeping next to me. Her familiar smells, her unique plumage, it was definitely her. She did not speak or wake, but she seemed so alive.

But then I blinked my eyes instinctively, and she was gone, replaced by a younger, daintier Annabelle. I was too far gone to return to the conscious world, however, and I slipped into my own dreamy realm shortly thereafter.

* * *

I found myself surrounded by an endless sea, a plane of existence more vivid than anything I have ever experienced before. Perched below a lone mango tree on a small island, I stared out for miles as endless waves clashed together and churned around in the great ocean.

With the sun high above in the cloudless sky, I spread my wings out to either side of me, catching the wind as it blew past me, bringing with it a salty spray that exploded into my senses.

Everything was peaceful, bringing with it a solemn trance-like state that swayed around in my unconscious sleep. I took a deep breath, soaking in the fresh air as it filled my lungs.

Peculiarly enough, I heard a familiar voice call from behind me.

"Hey Blu. It's been a while."

I turned slightly as my heart skipped a beat.

_Could it be?_ I thought as I turned to see a female blue macaw.

She was sitting beside the tree, staring out into the ocean with her back to me.

"Come here, Blu," the familiar voice ordered as a lone wing beckoned me forth. Slowly, I crept up to the bird and sat down next to her.

"Jewel?" I asked without turning to look at the figure. I could tell by her presence, her aura, and her unique smell that it was her, and I didn't need any further confirmation.

"Tell me, Blu," Jewel went on speaking, "When your time has come… and your life is done…"

Jewel paused and looked at me, her eyes conveying purposeful intent to me.

"Will you be able to say that you've had your fill?"

Jewel paused for a second, and I wanted to say something in return, but words eluded me.

"Will you look back at your life and be happy with what you've accomplished?"

The silence between us coupled with the constant rushing of the waves around us. Jewel looked back out towards the sea and sighed deeply.

"I could stay here forever and it'd be the best thing ever."

"Yeah…" I replied finally, "I could stay here forever… forever with you."

Jewel looked back at me and cocked her head to the side, a sly smile on her face.

"But Blu, you still have your life to live, and you have to make the most out of it."

Jewel laughed as she averted her gaze back to the endless ocean.

"I found this place here all by myself. It's peaceful, isn't it? No one around but me."

A swift breeze passed through the both of us and Jewel shifted her position.

"I think I'm going to stay here."

Again, silence, but this time, something peculiar happened. Suddenly I had an urgent sense that I had to do something, as if someone needed me desperately.

Jewel turned to me quickly and saw the wave of uneasiness pass through me.

"Looks like someone needs you, Blu."

"What is this feeling?" I asked desperately, as it was similar to an itch that I couldn't figure out how to scratch.

"I'll miss you, Blu. Make the most of it, won't you?" Jewel said as she pressed my wing between hers.

"Make the most of what?" I questioned as I felt myself being pulled by some indescribable entity.

"The rest of your life, genius. Treat her right. Fall in love with her. Earn the happy ending you and I never did."

"What about you?" I demanded, trying to reach out and claw my way back to Jewel.

"Hmph, what about me? I'm dead and gone. This is my home now. Don't worry though, I'll be waiting for you."

Instantly I awoke as if a surge of energy rushed through me and zapped me alive.

I felt a tugging at my wing and a small whimper. Turning to my right, I saw Annabelle shivering in her sleep, something obviously bothering her. Instinctively, I shook her.

"Annabelle, wake up!" I yelled in a frantic whisper trying to rouse her from her nightmare. "Wake up!"

When I finally received a response, Annabelle awoke with a fright, gasping in terror as she almost leapt up from the nest.

"Are you alright?" I asked, concerned for her well-being.

"B… Blu?" she stammered as her whole body shivered.

"It was just a nightmare," I cooed, resting my wing on her back and patting her softly. "You're ok now."

Annabelle's eyes wandered, searching for some sort of answer before she collapsed against my chest.

"H-hold me… please…" she whimpered as her chest heaved frantically. I wrapped my wings around her and did my best to reassure her, but I was still absolutely clueless as to what caused her so much distress.

"The nightmare is over now. You're safe with me. Don't worry yourself anymore."

"Thank you…"

We sat huddled together for warmth for another twenty minutes, neither of us exchanging any words, before the fingers of sleep started creeping up on us again.

"Blu?" Annabelle asked through waves of drowsiness.

"Yeah?" I asked as I let loose a rather large yawn, trying my best to stay awake to hear what Annabelle had to say.

"What was Jewel like?" Annabelle asked as she, too, yawned in my wings.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly, closing my eyes and opening my ears as my mind wandered around the subject of Jewel.

"What was she like… as a bird?"

I smiled and let out another yawn.

"She was… different," I admitted, rubbing my wing along her back. "She… had a lively, outgoing spirit. She was never one to let someone stop her from doing what she wanted to do, even me. Well, only a few times. Just a few."

Annabelle's breathing steadied and I could tell she was on the verge of passing out, but I continued.

"She was so independent when we first met… she wanted nothing to do with me, but it wasn't until we actually spent time with each other that we realized we were so compatible."

Annabelle shifted one last time before she mumbled something under her breath, but I continued.

"She… had another side to her, to be honest. She had a soft, loving side that I don't think anyone else saw but me. She loved me, and she made every attempt to let me know every time she could. I miss her."

I concluded with a deep sigh as a tear or two escaped my eyes.

"That's… nice. She sounds… nice. We could have been… great friends…" Annabelle said before nothing more exited her beak. I looked down at her, the female who had fallen asleep in my wings, and grinned.

_Maybe I _can_ make this work…_ I thought with an air of finality. _Maybe I _will _find happiness after all, like Alex and Jewel want me to…_

My mental vitality ground to a halt as unconsciousness had finally caught up to me.

Before I knew it, I, too, was fast asleep, with none other than Annabelle in my wings.

* * *

**So how was it? I couldn't just leave you guys hanging after the massive amount of reviews I got from the last chapter.**

**Thanks again to everyone who enjoys reading what I have to put out.**

**Leave a review :D ?**


	14. New Beginnings

**So it's been a long time... too long perhaps. Anyways, sorry about the dreadfully long wait. **

**Funny story about this, I'll have a long authors note below, but for now just enjoy:**

* * *

**(Mason)**

"Well how about you clean this up?" Sam asked almost demandingly as Roy stumbled slightly. He was obviously drunk and he had the usual glazed look in his eyes.

Roy pouted and shook his head, "It wash jest an accidenth," he said slumping forward and then whipping back to regain his composure. Sam shook his head, "Here," he said taking his wings off Aley who was basically lying on top of him. Sam stood up and looked at me, "Go grab a towel or something."

I did as he asked and returned quickly. When I returned Roy had passed out on the couch and Sam and I took it upon ourselves to clean up the mess Roy had made.

"What's with this guy?" I asked shaking my head.

"That's our Roy," Sam joked as we finished up, "He sure has a thing for your sister, Aley."

"My sister?" Aley said with a frown, "No, she's not my sister. Just an old friend."

"That's kind of harsh, don't you think?" Sam asked hopping back over to Aley and situating himself beside her again. She wrapped her wings around him again and they cuddled together. I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous so I averted my eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong with that girl. She's still a chick and she still makes me angry sometimes."

"Well hey, that's no reason to just shut her out. Maybe she just needs time to warm up to us," Sam said rubbing his wings through hers.

"I don't think so; she just doesn't like you guys."

Sam burst out laughing, "Well that's a shame, considering how much Roy has fallen for her."

_Yeah, that is a shame,_ I said to myself internally. Annabelle is probably the cutest bird I have ever seen and I fell for her almost the second I saw her. It sent me in a rage when I saw Roy mistreat her, so I haven't necessarily been on good terms with him, but it's not like he cares, he just drinks his worries away.

Aley just shook her head, "I don't understand it and I don't want to talk about it. I'll deal with her later."

Sam hugged Aley tighter, "Besides, you're so much cuter. I love you so much." Sam kissed her on her cheek and she rolled her eyes then kissed him back in turn.

Feeling that I was no longer wanted I took my leave, exiting the room and then the building. Our restaurant had been closed for the night and I felt like I should head home. Thoughts of Annabelle and Roy swarmed in my head and no matter how much I tried I couldn't rid myself of them.

A picturesque scene of Annabelle standing on a tree lingered in my mind. Her cute amber eyes burning against her vivid, azure coat. She has such a faint, happy smile that made me want to do anything to protect it.

When I landed in my hollow I crashed into my nest, I was beyond tired and all I felt like doing was hugging this beautiful bird and falling asleep. There was no doubt that I'd have dreams of her tonight and I didn't care, yet I wasn't exactly happy.

I couldn't help but feel angry at Roy for how he treated her. She probably didn't want anything to do with me just because I associated with him. I can't really help what my friends do, but it doesn't mean I can't disapprove of it either.

I went to sleep that night with only the desire to approach Annabelle and apologize, but maybe that's something for the distant future.

* * *

**(-Blu-)**

I was enveloped in warmth when I finally came to. Despite the haze of sleep still looming over my conscious mind, I was beginning to awake and become faintly aware of my surroundings again. I snuggled closer to the warm mass beside me as comforting memories of the dream world replayed through my head in hazy black and white.

Jewel was there and I was happy. The time when everything was perfect is gone, but in my dreams, sweet serenades of past love still echoed through my head. That's all that has really kept me sane until now. Well, now, at least, I can find comfort in someone else.

It was almost ten minutes that I was lost inside my head before I realized the smile that had crept on to my beak due to the delusions of grandeur I was recalling and I got a strange feeling when I tried to recall the last time I had a smile on my face.

Sure it had been a while, but I started seriously thinking about it when I honestly could not recall a recent occurrence. Smiling was a nice thing that came with a warm feeling and I guess I never really realized how much of an effect a simple gesture has or even the significance it holds.

It wasn't long before I felt a small stirring next to me as Annabelle had broken the chains that bound her to the dream realm. She let out a large yawn and stretched back, trying to fully wake herself. I opened my eyes finally and observed the faint, brisk morning sunlight gently spill through the entrance of my hollow and for a moment a surge of nostalgia hit me as I remember back on one of those mornings where I awoke next to Jewel.

_Oh how I miss her_, I thought as an empty feeling welled inside me briefly. I shook it off and looked at Annabelle as she blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to clear the debris and adjust them to the morning sun. At first it looked as if she didn't recognize where she was and when she finally met my gaze she smiled.

"Good morning," Annabelle whispered as she averted her eyes down a bit, obviously a bit embarrassed for whatever reason.

"Morning," I replied with a warm smile.

I clambered out of the nest and bounced forward a few paces, bounding for the entrance to catch a breath of the morning air. The breeze welcomed me softly as I stretched my wings out to either side of me. It had definitely been a while since I've felt this way and I can't quite put a word to it. I guess the best way I could describe it is hopeful, maybe even just peaceful. It's the kind of feeling you get when you know something is lost forever yet you have something new to hold on to, a new light or a new hope; something that you feel might bring you back to your original, whole self.

Well, as whole as you can ever hope to get again.

It wasn't exactly happy, or sad. Nothing is that black or white and nothing can ever be again after what happened. I guess what I'm trying to convince myself of is that what's done is done, and there is only the future to look forward to. Maybe the future won't be as bright as the past, but it sure won't be as dark as the present.

Annabelle, too, eventually hopped out of the nest and approached me. "How about some breakfast?" She questioned softly with a smooth voice that rolled out of her beak like honey.

I closed my eyes, relaxing as I took a deep breath, "Sounds good," I exhaled.

I stretched my wings open again and pushed out of the hollow, lifting into the air. The second the full breeze hit me my spirit lifted and I felt a surge of energy as life itself reassured me I existed. Power flowed through each stroke of my wings and it felt amazing. Annabelle followed behind not too far off and we both made our way to a small grove of trees that contained various fruits.

Upon landing we both set out to forage for our breakfasts. Annabelle went for a ripe mango while I settled for a little starfruit myself.

It was mostly silent while we ate as we just sat in one of our mutual silences that were starting to become routine, occasionally looking at each other for a brief period before we'd meet eyes and quickly look away. An unsettling awkwardness built up between us and I wasn't sure why.

The morning scenery of the jungle around us was a beautiful sight as it always was, and I stared out at the vastness of it all. The vivid, vibrant vegetation so full of life everywhere the eye could see and various species of birds and insects busied their selves with their morning rituals.

It wasn't long before Annabelle and I finally finished our meal. We opted to sitting side by side after we finished eating to let our stomachs settle and eventually I started to feel unnerved as my mind was left to process everything.

I, however, remained still but I became more and more nervous as I thought about what happened last night between Annabelle and me. What a clumsy way I asked her to actually sleep next to me and who even asks that? Not to mention, what was I thinking when I kissed her? Doubt and dread suddenly filled my stomach with a lurching feeling and I shook my head slightly to try and rid myself of it.

Annabelle broke the silence after a while, perhaps she could sense my distress or maybe she, herself, had the same uneasy feeling.

"Thank you, by the way," Annabelle started hesitantly, "For letting me sleep at your hollow last night."

I breathed an internal sigh of relief, "Think nothing of it," I said with a reassuring smile, "I just didn't want you out in the rain. Plus after that kiss and all..." My voice trailed off as I found myself at a loss, "Yeah..." I said finally trying to wrap things up.

Annabelle just returned my pitiful response with a soft smile, "That was nice of you, thank you." She took a deep sigh and leaned up closer to me, "That was such a crazy thing; I don't know what came over me, I... I just don't know."

"Well, I can't say I didn't like it, or that I don't like you," I said nudging her slightly, "I don't know either, that's the thing. It's just all one big uncertain mess."

Annabelle sighed again, "So, does that mean I'm staying with you from now on?" she asked almost in a joking tone.

"Only if you want to," I replied laughing a bit at her question. Annabelle just nodded, "I think I will... maybe just for a while, as long as I don't bother you, that is."

"Oh me?" I asked, "You won't bother me one bit."

Annabelle let out a warm smile, "Thanks," she said as she gave me a hug and then she went to looking up at the sky.

"You know, I've always wanted to travel," She started softly; "I've always wondered what it was like out beyond just here."

"Do you mean in other parts of the world?" I questioned as I picked casually at a misplaced feather.

"Yeah," Annabelle said as she took a deep breath, "What was it like? In America I mean."

I chuckled slightly, "It wasn't as great as it is out here. A lot colder and a lot less colorful. I love it here; everything is just so... full of life. I can't shake the fact that I've lost what I did, but every time I'm reminded of how vibrant the life is here and how grand the jungle is, it helps brighten things just a little." I closed my eyes and drew in air steadily, taking in the fresh jungle air. Through the trees and vegetation many birds' squabbles and chirps rang through and above it all I listened in to the beat of my heart; the one assurance that I was truly alive.

Annabelle remained silent, probably pondering on something I said. I began thinking about Minnesota and more importantly Linda. Oh how I wish I treated her better yet that time has passed and will never return again.

Before long Annabelle nudged me slightly, pulling at one of my out-of-place feathers and tapping on my back in an attempt to catch my attention. I turned my head slightly to see what she wanted and she met me with wide eyes. One primary feather hovered over her beak as she signaled me to be quiet. Slowly she darted her eyes up then back at me and then up again. I tilted my head towards the sky and scanned the canopy above looking for whatever Annabelle was trying to tell me about.

When I couldn't located the exact source I looked back at her and saw that she was frozen solid and still, eyes locked on something above. I slowly followed her gaze until I saw exactly what she was looking at, a harpy eagle.

The eagle sat perched a couple of trees away and high above us, yet it was obviously oblivious of our existence. Clutched in its talons was what appeared to be some kind of hose but when I stared long enough I came to the realization that it was a snake. The eagle took a vicious bite, ripping into the flesh of the already dead snake as it began feeding. I couldn't help but shudder at the brutality of the beast, as memories of my run in with such a being came back to me.

I looked back over at Annabelle who was looking back at me, fear flooded through her expression. I got the message that she wanted to leave and upon me gesturing to do so she nodded quickly.

I opened my wings and dropped off silently, gliding in the opposite direction of the massive eagle. I sensed Annabelle following me shortly after and I set course for my own hollow, doubling back around once I put a cushion of distance between me and the predator. It was a lucky and rare encounter and hopefully we won't run into another one for a while, if ever.

We reached the hollow seemingly quicker, probably due to the adrenaline in our systems because of the encounter. I landed first, and hopped inside allowing Annabelle entrance as well.

"You don't see that every day," I said jokingly once Annabelle straightened herself up.

She had a ghost of a smile and nodded in response, "I think it was lucky we were silently enjoying the scenery, else that monster might have found us before the snake," Annabelle said as she sighed in relief, "I think I could go for a quiet rest of the day."

"I agree," I replied as I stretched my back slightly.

Annabelle cuddled close to me and thanked me for the thousandth time. I don't really know why she keeps thanking me, but it's reassuring to know that she enjoys my presence.

"Thank you again, Blu. I don't know where I'd be without you."

Hearing my name felt so surreal for some reason. It was almost like I had forgotten my name and I said it a couple of times mentally to reaffirm it in my head. Sure I do hear my name every once and again, but coming from Annabelle it always feels different. I can't quite explain it other than it holds some faint familiarity, and it makes me long deeply inside for something.

I closed my eyes and smiled, "It's okay Anna, you don't have to thank me," I said finally, letting out a stream of air.

Annabelle shifted slightly before asking, "Blu?"

"Yeah?" I said listening intently.

"I like it when you call me Anna."

"Hmm," I mused slightly in response. I replayed the thought of that in my mind a couple of times before it stuck, but I could feel my head tire and I deemed myself fit for a nap. Annabelle remained quiet after that and it wasn't long before I let myself slip.

* * *

**So for me to be able to actually write this chapter I had to completely change the story up. I had plans before, decided to change them and now I'm on a different course. Hopefully now I can actually finish the story, but I'm gonna need your help. I've probably lost some of my strength in writing during my hiatus, and I really need reviews. Actual reviews.**

**Not only will this help me, but it'll let me know if you guys want me to continue this and hopefully inspire me to finish this story. I just need inspiration, that's all.**

**I hope you liked it, and I'll try my best to update sooner. Thanks for sticking with me (the three people that have) I'm only doing this for you guys!**

**Edit: I forgot to mention that I've been wanting to move on to other stories outside of the RIO community, yet I haven't because I feel obligated to finish. I feel like I owe it to this community to finish before I move on. ALSO this probably wasn't the best chapter, it was just filler to get back into the grove. Hope it didn't disappoint too much.**


End file.
